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Ex Partner

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  • 24-03-2006 2:41pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I am really just looking for advice on a matter I have. I am with my current partner 4 years. Our relationship is good although could be a better in certain areas - my problem is that I had a partner prior to my current partner who was my first love - we broke up after he fell in with a dodgy crowd and started taking drugs - we didn't break up because I fell out of love with them I just couldn't cope with all the personality changes as they were taking toll on my life also. I had a single period of 4 years between both partners. My problem is that I can't help wondering about my ex partner - he is on my mind constantly - mainly I wonder about how he is and what he is up to now - I would love to get in touch with him but I am afraid that I would hurt my current partner as I did have some contact with him when I first got together with my current partner - and he didn't like it at all - so I cut my ties with ex. It's not that I am still in love with my ex it's just that we were such good friends for so many years aswell as partners and we shared so much together. I don't know what to do as it is driving me demented - just looking for some advice please.


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    #2
    REDZ
    Registered Users Posts: 273 ✭✭REDZ


    i don't think that people should ever cut all ties, its just not healthy in my opinion. you never really stop caring about your past loves.
    if your current partner has problems with you being in contact with your ex, then they are his problems with trust not yours.
    If you feel like catching up with your ex as a friend, go for it.


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    #3
    meditraitor
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,207 ✭✭✭meditraitor


    :D

    You really think its about you loosing a friend?
    From experience I can tell you this, if you do make contact again there is a good chance your old feelings will reamerge and then things get messy,, especially since you are in a relationship with someone else.

    Leave it be


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    #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    TBH I keep in contact with most of my Ex's on an informal basis. My current GF does sometimes find this kind of weird and get's somewhat jealous, so all I can really say is it really depends on the circumstances.

    If your partner was really pissed off amount you staying in contact with a past flame well then I think I would respect their wishes or at least discuss it before it became a major issue. You have to be open and honest ina relationship so it would only seem fair to seek a a compromise rather than cause strife.

    Just my 2c


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    #5
    oulu
    Closed Accounts Posts: 330 ✭✭oulu


    I think you want to see if you both have the same feelings as before, If you have even the slightest feelings for him which I believe you do, then you should meet him to either clear up any unfinnished issue ie how he hurt you and if he did not fall in with the wrong crowd how you might still be togerther, If I where your boyfriend I would want you to meet up with your ex once and for all and to see and be a 100% sure that you have no feelings for him in that way, if you do then be straight and honest with yourself, could he be married ,have kids etc, also maybe he has grown up and put all the drugs past behind him, whatever you do make the right decision for you nobody else, do not be with somebody if you still have those feelings for your ex let that person go if you care for them at all and let them get over you


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