Is he overreacting?

LegacyUser

Ok here's my problem.

About a month ago i took some pics of my girlfriends using my dad's digital camera, she wasn't naked in the pics but was only wearing a bra and a short skirt. I'm positive i deleted them as i have looked through all the pics on the camera( a couple of times on different occasions) since deleting them. My dad recently saw them on his camera, he was away at the time and the is the chance that someone else my have seem them also.

Now my dad is acting like i've done the worse thing in the world. I started getting a big speach on how he has lost all respect for me and my girlfriend. Since then he hasn't said a word to me, we live in the same house and when he passes me I'd say something and he just ignores me.

I'm planning on having a sit down with him when i get home from work today. To try and sort this out.

Is what I done that bad? or is he totally over reacting?


PS. the only explanation i can give for the pictures reappearing on the camera is that the memory locations they where stored in where never overwritten, after they where deleted, When dad took out the battery to recharge the camera the chip may have undeleted them.

Beruthiel

Overreacting wrote:

Is what I done that bad?

not at all

or is he totally over reacting?

well, your da comes from a different age, he would probably consider this to be totally disrespectful of your g/f and sleezy.
You did use his camera and left the pics on it (even if you didn't mean to). So he has a right to be upset about that part.
Perhaps he's just disappointed in you and doesn't know how to handle it..
I imagine you'd be wasting your time trying to get him see your point of view, that's not how he's made...

Shabadu

What Ruthie said. Also, you'll always be a little boy/girl in your parents eyes, he probably doesn't like the idea of you being an adult and sexualised. Give him some time to adjust. I don't think trying to explain yourself to him would go across very well.

delly

As said, what you have done is harmless, even tame by some peoples standards, but i doubt that you'll win your Dad over by trying to explain the reasoning behind it.

Best bet is to say sorry and stating that you understand that you may have put your Dad in an awkward position if somebody else say the pics. Also your age may be a factor in this, so you might want to play on the whole experimenting thing etc.

Last piece of advice: buy your own camera, its all in good fun

chump

It's very bad what you've done.

You'll just have to let it blow over...

What's your gf like? Maybe he was appalled at the sight?

justsomebloke

ye he is over reacting but as stated before he is from a different era, when this sort of thing wouldn't be acceptable.

anyway just as a side question have you told your girlfriend that your dad has seen the pictures of her in her underwear and what was her reaction. If you haven't told her are you worried about your dad telling her

hepcat

It will blow over, don't worry.

Even if he is of a different generation, and a bit old-fashioned, it is hardly crime of the century. Let him get over it - maybe even say you're sorry if you put him in an awkward position. But after that, ignore his "huff" - as others said, he is probably also coming to terms with the reality of his kids sexuality. He might be even feeling a bit of mid-life-crisis jealousy, and is disguising it by being over the top about relatively innocent pics.

Noelie

jsb wrote:

ye he is over reacting but as stated before he is from a different era, when this sort of thing wouldn't be acceptable.

anyway just as a side question have you told your girlfriend that your dad has seen the pictures of her in her underwear and what was her reaction. If you haven't told her are you worried about your dad telling her

Haven't told her yet, I wasn't going to either but if he keeps going on like this i'm going to have to tell her. We're buying a place together which will be ready in a few months, he's a builder (well semi retired) and was to help us out however with this i doubt he'll be will to help and she'll want to know why.

Don't think he'd tell her, he's not that spitefull and he knows I'd never forgive him if he said it to her.

Kolodny

Would you not be better off telling your girlfriend anyway? If she were to accidently find out in the future, she'll probably be mortified (not to mention mad that you didn't tell her).

hepcat

Noelie wrote:

Haven't told her yet, I wasn't going to either but if he keeps going on like this i'm going to have to tell her. We're buying a place together which will be ready in a few months, he's a builder (well semi retired) and was to help us out however with this i doubt he'll be will to help and she'll want to know why.

Don't think he'd tell her, he's not that spitefull and he knows I'd never forgive him if he said it to her.

:eek:

It's worse than you originally described really, if this is the case. He must have serious issues re the normal relationship that exists between men and women if he is going to pull out of helping you build your house over an accidental innocent episode like this. (she was clothed, right? and not doing anything too extreme?)

Jeez, thought my folks were old-fashioned...

delly

hepcat wrote:

:eek:

It's worse than you originally described really, if this is the case. He must have serious issues re the normal relationship that exists between men and women if he is going to pull out of helping you build your house over an accidental innocent episode like this. (she was clothed, right? and not doing anything too extreme?)

Jeez, thought my folks were old-fashioned...

The OP is presuming this will happen, but doesn't know as of yet.

py2006

Turn the tables there for a second!

Imagine you looked at your own digy cam one day to find your dad had taken pics of your mom half naked!!! :eek: You would be totally freaked out and disturbed by it for life!

So you have to see it from his perspective too!

Taken pics of your gf with her permission is perfectly fine but dude, get your own cam!

Noelie

hepcat wrote:

:eek:

(she was clothed, right? and not doing anything too extreme?)

Jeez, thought my folks were old-fashioned...

Yeah nothing in the pics to make them an 18 cert.

This is what he's like, he threw my eldest brother out of the house cause my dad though my brothers girl friend was too ugly. Even though he is in his 60's when you do something he doesn't like or agree with he acts very childish. For example I bought a motorbike a few years ago, he didn't agree with it and told me I had two weeks to move out. Maybe i'll give him some time to calm down and see how he feels.

Zulu

Woooh, wooh, wooh there people. Am I the only one who's considered that the primary reason your dad is pissed off is because you could have got him in a seriously tricky situation?

Perhaps he was concerned someone might have taught HE took the photos?


<sorry just read your last post - perhaps not!>

Blub2k4

Is the Gf under 18? Would it make your dad look like he was carrying paedo material had his camera been looked at by anyone else?

Just a thought, and lack of knowledge is not a legal defense by the way....

I know I'd have been mighty pissed had I been put in a compromising situation like that by a "child" who wasn't thinking right when he misused my camera...

<edit> I just had a look at ZULU's post and I see he has a similar idea posted, I dont normally see his posts cos he's on the ignore list. So sorry for the apparent repitition.

Zulu

Blub2k4 wrote:

Is the Gf under 18? Would it make your dad look like he was carrying paedo material had his camera been looked at by anyone else?

Just a thought, and lack of knowledge is not a legal defense by the way....

I know I'd have been mighty pissed had I been put in a compromising situation like that by a "child" who wasn't thinking right when he misused my camera...

My taughts exactly!

Noelie

No we're both well over the legal age.

Zulu

Noelie wrote:

No we're both well over the legal age.

Then get you own camera man, and stop agrivating your ould lad


<sorry forgot this is PI - seriously, he probably is over reacting, but it's his camera, and he's an ould lad, so just leave him off I'd say>

Blub2k4

Ok fair enough may be just a case of prudishness

jdwals

Do not tell your GF!

Put yourself in her shoes and if it was you in those pictures and she told you that her dad or mom had seen them, how would you react?
I think it is safe to say she would not find it easy to relax around your dad or mom (will probably assume that she has been told) and it might even drive a wedge between the two of you.
Keep it quiet. No one is going to tell her if you don't and her not knowing is a very good thing.

Motley Crue

Keep it quiet, dont tell your girlfriend, and have a simple talk with him. what you didnt isnt that bad and I cant see the harm myself

Altheus

I don't think it's "old-fashioned" to consider illicit pictures of your girlfriend questionable. Personally speaking, I'm not exactly taken in with with this sort of carry-on, and it's become increasingly popular with the dawn of mobile phones. In fact, on the bus the other day, guys were using bluetooth to send these kinda pictures round.

Your Dad might be making the logical jump that your objectifying your girlfriend for your own, and possible other sexual fulfillment.

Also, about the girlfriend, he's making a judgment on the fact she's posing in the pictures, willingly. While your or I can differenciate between a girl posing for her boyfriend's private collection and Playboy. Your Dad probably sees it as tantamount to her being a page 3 girl.

Not knowing how prudish/conservative your Dad is, this is all speculative. I know my Dad would be the same. I wouldn't call it prudish, so much as a different perspective.

I dont think it's not wrong per say; but I dont think it's the same thing as taking a dirty snap of the missus before you hike off to the trenches.

If there was any doubt you were sexually active, well it'd be fair to say that this pictures (naked or nay) is gonna tip the scale.

Consider if your folks let you have the g/f over in your room alone. Also, consider the fact you took your dad's camera to take pictures of your girlfriend, and then didnt delete them properly.

There's plenty of factors that are influencing why your Dad is mad, and while some (most?) people think that the pictures are fine, I'd be one voice to say it's not my thing.

ps. Fact is, you've seen just why this sort of stuff can get you into trouble. You've p'ssed off your Dad, and I dont look forward to the conversation you'll need to have with the G/f if he's going to mention it....