What should I do with my life?

CorkMan

Hi. I am a 19 year old fella and I don't know what to do with my life.

I left school a couple of years ago when I was bullied and I have really done nothing since, except get depressed and hate myself for doing nothing. I moved out of home and am in my own place now, and nothing is happening. I am thinking of getting a job or something for my time but i'm not sure.

I just don't feel up to it, my mam died of cancer when I was a baby and I was raised by my Dad, and he was depressed all the time, so my life was just a shambles growing up. Because I had no mam, none of the other mothers wanted their sons to play with me, so I was on my own as a youth.

I get fierce lonely sometimes when i'm on my own, which is pretty much all the time. I just don't have anything to reach out to, no one for me to spend my time with and have a laugh or someone to really bond with, i'm just so sick of my life at this present moment, it's like a big empty space. I don't go out much because their is nothing to go out to.

I see other people being happy, and i'm like what aren't I like that? How come all my life i've been unhappy.

What should I do?

the_syco

IUt may sound harsh, but get a job.

If ye left school a while back, this may be hard, but if you've gotten your Junior Cert, did you ever think of taking up a trade? If so, go into your local FAS centre, and ask for info on how to get one. The money is generally sh|te int the 1st year, but after the 2nd year, it picks up. Me thinks that the min requirement is a J Cert, but under new law, the employer will have to give you time to do your Leaving Cert whilst your working.

Also, whilst doing the apprenticeship, you'll be next to others also doing the trade, thus make friends.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Agree. A job, even if it's not a great one, will aid your social life. As regards the leaving, lie. Make up some results - just not brilliant ones. Does anyone ever check...? Then, at interview, say you don't want to carry on with eduation at this time, but may persue it in the furture when you've a better idea what you want to do.

You're 19. It's not what's behind you that counts, it's what's ahead of you. No one knows what they want to do with their life at 19. I found out three years ago, when I was 31. What hobbies do you have? Join clubs. Sports clubs, arts clubs, cinema clubs, whatever. Make contacts, make friends, have fun. The more you get out there, the more you meet people and the more enjoyment you get out of life.

CorkMan

I used to live with my Dad, but had to leave due to his situation.

I will look into getting a job, anyone, a trade would be great!

I am really into music. Where can I join these clubs?

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Ask in the music forums here for a start. Failing that, try the libraries. Dunno about Cork, but the music instrument shops in Dublin are crawling with ads looking for people to join bands and clubs. Maybe try finding fanclubs for what ever bands or singers you like...?

CorkMan

I really like soccer too.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Easy one to find info on....

Would also recommend a gym, if and when you can afford it.

Best of luck and night night, because I've to be up at 7.45

DrummerBoy

You could always go back to school and do your Leaving Cert? Over one year or over two, days or even nights. Or you could even try doing the Leaving Cert Applied, like the leaving but also includes trade like courses too. Local FAS centre would have info on this. Also look at your local schools for info on Adult courses.

Don't worry about the being 19 part. The best part of your life hasn't even begun yet!! Trust me!
A

Ruu_Old

theres lots of ways to get your life back on track and get an education, some of which have been mentioned. have you thought of maybe going back to school?

CorkMan

Yes, I though of school, leaving cert etc, but i'd fancy doing a night course or something.

I wouldn't fancy doing 5 or 6 subjects in the leaving, as it takes up way too much time, when I could do a course in a specific area, or a FETAC course which can gain entry to college.

ivan087

i think the best thing is to keep busy. its easy to mop around the house and trying to get out there is like trying to climb mount everest.

i know, because i suffered from depression. your life wont get back on track in a number of weeks, but if you start making changes now you will find that someday soon you'll wake up with a smile on your face. get out there and get a job, get an education, and join some clubs - all at the same time. dont leave yourself with a minute to spare in the day to worry about things. and if you arent making friends striaght away, dont worry. dont try too hard, just be natural (which can be very hard!). keep a smile on your face even if you have to force it on yourself.

if its music you love - then get your name out there. join bands, volunteer for radio stations, join clubs etc.

just try and have a positive attitude and leave the past in the past. theres nothing you can do about the past, but theres plenty you can do for the future.

adam_ccfc

Take up supporting an eircom League club if you're interested in soccer, it is a really fulfilling hobby and you'll make many friends.

CorkMan

Is there a social club for Cork City FC which I can join?

Binomate

What about a career in the army?

Hermione*

I would suggest going into your local fas office for advice and pointers on where to go. They can explain all the options open to you, and provide you with things like free telephones to apply for jobs. They can also explain what entitlements you have eg back to education allowance, or whatever it might be. The staff in most of the centres are very friendly and approachable, and it's their job to help you get on in life. Good luck!

CorkMan

I am not sure about a career in the army, you would be gone for long periods of time.

C Fodder

I couldn't recommend an apprenticeship highly enough to you.
A. its an education
B. its a job at the same time i.e. you will be earning your own money
C. after one year the money is ok, after four its very good.
D. you will be studying/working with likeminded people i.e. doing the same as you so you should make friends (apart from the a$$holes that are in every job etc).
E. even if you decide in the future to change careers you will always have a trade to fall back on in hard times
F. the education prospects are pretty limitless if you decide in the future to go that direction because you will have some basic third level qualifications.
g. Plenty of oppertunity to travel with whatever career you choose (skilled tradespeople are always in demand everywhere in the world)

Mind you going the army route and doing an army apprenticeship has extras to recommend it on top of the above if you can stick army life.

Pick yourself up Monday morning and get down to Fas talk to them in detail about all the different apprenticeships available. Some are less well known and may suit you more than carpentry for example. You are only nineteen and many people are only leaving school at that age so you have lost nothing so far. Good luck and happy hunting...........

Binomate

CorkMan wrote:

I am not sure about a career in the army, you would be gone for long periods of time.

How about the Navy then? They're based in Cork. They'll actually pay you whilst they train you. You could get a degree in engineering out of it. Might be worth a look. The Air Corps are the same, they'll give you some of the best training there is. The only thing that stopped me from going in to the defence forces was that I probably wouldn't have been fit enough for it. They have some really good oppertunitis in the defence forces.

cinnamon

Hi Corkman
Just read your post. How are things going on the job/course front. I hope things are going well for you.

cinnamon

adam_ccfc

CorkMan wrote:

Is there a social club for Cork City FC which I can join?

There's an official supporter's club which regularly holds meetings. There are also a number of 'alternative' fan groupings, such as Commandos 84.

Go here.

TheNog

here is the cork city fc supporter club

http://www.corkcityfc.ie/supportersclub.htm

I would also recommend seeing a GP to discuss your depression. Getting a job is really a way forward to give you the satisfaction of making your own way thru life. It will be a hard slog for you as it is for us all. The only way to deal with it is to face each problem as they come along and look to the future.

Be Positive no matter what comes ur way!!!

Good luck