2 quick ones

alibabba

Six retired Irishmen were playing poker in O'Leary's apartment when
Paddy Murphy loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops
dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen brother, the other five
continue playing standing up.

Michael O'Conner looks around and asks, "Oh, me boys, someone got's
to tell Paddy's wife. Who will it be?"

They draw straws. Paul Gallagher picks the short one. They tell him
to be discreet be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse.

"Discreet??? I'm the most discreet Irishmen you'll ever meet.
Discretion is me middle name. Leave it to me."

Gallagher goes over to Murphy's house and knocks on the door. Mrs
Murphy answers and asks what he wants. Gallagher declares: "Your husband
just lost $500 and is afraid to come home."

"Tell him to drop dead!", says Murphy's wife.

"I'll go tell him." says Gallagher

____________________________________________________________________________

Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important
meeting and couldn't find a parking place.
Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a
parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and
give up me Irish Whiskey".
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."

gerTheGreat

a tad anti-irish? racist^^^

Kojak

gerTheGreat wrote:

a tad anti-irish? racist^^^

I didn't think that - I just thought htey were crap.

SoundWave

anti-irish..... racist....

feck sake ... they are jokes... i quite liked them....

why do people bother posting replys like that....

i give up....

DarkWinter

Liked the second one

Elara Lady

thanks Alibaba,

you gave me a giggle...

alibabba

gerTheGreat wrote:

a tad anti-irish? racist^^^

Racist !!!!
Me a racist
Jasus, how dare you !
You dont even know me, nor do you know that I have a An Irish Tricolor tatoo on my shoulder. Cop on to yrself, and get off the Politically Correct attitude that is swamping the country at the moment,
They are jokes, thats all, they claim to be nothing else but jokes.

biko

Second one was class

kittenkiller

Loved the second one!

Linoge

alibabba wrote:

nor do you know that I have a An Irish Tricolor tatoo on my shoulder.

Wow, really patriotic:rolleyes:

Btw, its ok for Irish to take the piss out of ourselves, but for other people to do it, some of us may take offense.

Not me though. I don't give a flying fcuk what you say.

gerTheGreat

Did anyone for just one ****ing second consider that i was taking the piss??? Really have a ****ing sense of humor, it's the humor board after all!! If I'm not going to give out about relious or race jokes, do you really think that I'd really care!

**Timbuk2**

The second one was great

"Never mind, I found one!!"

LOL!!!

milltown

First one reminded me of the supposedly true story of the Garda, having a bad day, going to tell a woman that her husband had been killed.

"Are you the widow Murphy?"