lonely again and stuff

anonguest2

girl i was with for a year now finished with me today, not full blown relationship cause she wasnt really into me as much as i was her, just always out together and dates etc. i really liked her

im back to square one now.. was lookin for a little relationship before this but feel very lonely again now and already missing her.. i dont blame her for her not liking me enough

any suggestions to get her out of my head besides the usual go out and try get with someone else?.. which isnt the easiest thing, for me anway

were both 21 she was amazing looking and such a nice person fkin gutted i lost her

told her my feelings and all that stuff just want to get over her now. all i can think of is not being with her when im out anymore and her being with others

el scorcho

its not the end of the world, whats for you won't pass you by. and it only happened today so your going through thats the hardest part of it, give it a a little more time and things will seem clearer.
in the meantime, you could try and do something to take your mind off her, as in a hobby or focus on work or college more, spend time with your mates etc.

breakups are really hard but in every one of them is a life learning lesson.
AND don't say "i dont blame her", somethings just aren't meant to be, some people will like you some people wont, thats life, everyone has to deal with it. so chin up and learn to like yourself(easier said than done). also your only 21, same as me, plenty of time for those kind of relationships

ST*

anonguest2 wrote:

any suggestions to get her out of my head besides the usual go out and try get with someone else?.. which isnt the easiest thing, for me anway

Fill up the free time you normally would have spent with her by going to see other friends. Im pretty sure your friends wouldnt mind you talking about it a little either, if they know your state of mind - they can help you feel better and fill up some of that free time.

el scorcho wrote:

its not the end of the world, whats for you won't pass you by.

No truer words said. Might not feel like it right now, and this may sound a little patronising because you feel so strongly for her - but the right girl for you is out there. Think about it, how can you meet Ms right, if you are still stuck on Ms wrong?

Your "I don't blame her" comment - sounds like you are feeling kinda low.
Im not sure what you meant by that exactly, do you think you done something wrong?

Either way, friends are great at times like this - even if you dont feel like it much, let them drag you out around the pubs etc. Such a cliche, but so true - time is a great healer.

g/l anyway OP.

anonguest2

as in that you cant do anything about who you like its all in the heart or whatever, i dont blame her for ending it if she didnt like me

im pretty depressed alright, have that extremely anxious feeling in my stomach constanty

got college work to be done this week im totally in the wrong frame of mind for it now

ST*

anonguest2 wrote:

as in that you cant do anything about who you like its all in the heart or whatever, i dont blame her for ending it if she didnt like me
im pretty depressed alright, have that extremely anxious feeling in my stomach constanty
got college work to be done this week im totally in the wrong frame of mind for it now

Firstly, you might need to have a chat with someone re anxiety / depression. Mention this to your GP, sooner rather than later.

Try your best to get stuck into that college work. girlfriends will come and go several times before you find the right one.

Is it possible outside lectures to study with one of your class mates?
It might help you to keep motivated.

Ruu_Old

Dont go trying to look for someone. Instead get stronger being on your own for a while, it'll be hard but worth it and save you many headaches. Best of luck

anonguest2

had far too much of that single life before this relationship i way prefer havin sum1 to hug and hold etc. before it i used to just crave having somebody, mainly because of my lack of girlfriends over the years

damn i hate this anxious feeling in my stomach its horrible! been in tears a couple of times since yesterday if i could get rid of this anxious feelin ide be fine.

should i keep in contact cause ive been textin her a few times? i find myself looming over my phone waitin for her replies or whatever which just make me want to be with her more.

i want to go out to my friends take my mind off things but i have to study for the exam this week, which i still havent done anything for .. playing games online helps me take my mind off things briefly.. damn im in a bit of a mess at the moment!

Sharza-

Hey, your defeatist attitude is why she broke up with you.

You say you can understand why she didn't like you so much?
Whats that supposed to mean?
You'r not her equal?

Stop putting this girl, and any others on a pedastal. Because if you invite people to walk over you, they will.

Your self worth has got to improve.

Listen to yourself, how you say you want somebody to hug and cuddle cause your feeling low. No offence, but does this sound masculine?

Are you attracted to masucline women? No.
Why would women be attracted to feminine men. They aren't.

If you want some links to some good free sites on men/women stuff pm me.

anonguest2

i always wanted to hug and cuddle etc as in someone to be with when im fuppin on my own! not cause im feeling low after this breakup. i wouldnt say that is not masculine really.. i could of said want someone in my bed without her knickers on or whatever is that masculine enough? :P

your dead right i did totally invite her to walk all over me and she did, she was for ages and everyone knew it and used say it to me.. i never dealt with it early on and in the later stages when i told her off for it she would get pissed off and distance herself from me rather than it having any positive effect

i think its all about the game you play right from the start.treat them mean keep them keen. i did the opposite and treated her like gold tho! i remember sayinto myself before i got into this relationship when i was lonely and stuff how if i had a girl i would treat her like gold.. which i did. oh how things have changed! i will approach that whole aspect much differently in the future

im defo not a feminine man! i am open when discussing my feelings tho, maybe an honest man. about my self worth.. i think my esteem is high enough, obviously at a time like this its pretty low

i did have a defeatist attitude if i had been more cocky from the start im sure things could of been much different. i would blame this on inexperience or just havin a big crush on her

treatin her like gold got me nowhere! god help the next girl that gets with me

thanks for your input Sharza- ... made me realise a few things bout meself and also helped me out of another crappy mood.. i will prob fall into some self attacking thought process and get depressed later on again tho knowing me..!

Lorri_L

It seems really hard now but you will get over it. I dont mean to sound like a cow, but its tried and tested.

You will find someone you like more.

jrey1981

I am in a similar, slightly more complicated situation, so I can empathise where you are coming from.

Part of the problem might be that you want some kind of closure.

If you cannot find any way she might see you in the light you want her to see you in, then it might be best to accept your situation now, contact her as rarely as possible, and try and find opportunities to meet new like-minded people.

It aint easy, time will help, and it may take a while to choose what you do.

anonguest2

saw her today for the first time... it was not pleasant at all. tried to hold my head up and act normal in front of her and her friends but i couldnt help looking like a depressed cnt!

she also initiates chat or whatever, do i talk to her normally acting like ther was nothing or try and ignore/avoid her?

just trying to get over her.. im still feeling rotten about it

like today all i wanted to do was grab her and hug her but i know its not allowed anymore!

Sleepy

anonguest2, I've only one piece of advice for you: learn to like yourself. The rest will sort itself out.

anonguest2

thats a strange bit of advice i do like myself! well im sure theres a few things i could do better but im not bad looking and doing ok in college and should be pretty set up for the future (i hope) although i havent a notion where i will be in 10 years

im a bit under the influence of green stuff right now i shouldnt be posting in this thread right now so good night!

ST*

anonguest2 wrote:

she also initiates chat or whatever, do i talk to her normally acting like ther was nothing or try and ignore/avoid her?
just trying to get over her

Everyone is different OP, do what ever it is that helps you get over her.
I dont think you should ignore her, but try and avoid the usual spots where you might bump into each other. you need to clear your head.

Macker

Is she attractive ,witty ,intelligent if the answer to all of the above is yes look on the bright side ,you can pull attractive ,witty ,intelligent women which I'm sure you will do in the future

Good luck

Chucky the tree

anonguest2 wrote:

should i keep in contact cause ive been textin her a few times? i find myself looming over my phone waitin for her replies or whatever which just make me want to be with her more.

Dont keep in contact. ITs too much hassle and pain. Like a bandage, best way to get it off is one quick rip all in one go.

Similiar to this, if you keep texting her etc she you will still be thinking about her etc. If you see her in college, say hello etc but dont be to friendly.

Also, when you do see her act all happy aswell, as if breaking up didnt mind and you have already moved on. If your feeling brave, a bit of flirting with her mates doesnt go a miss either!