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Lonely and a little lost

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  • 17-03-2006 10:35am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi All,

    Sorry if this is a bit long, I just needed to get it all off my chest and hopefully someone will have helpful comments.

    I really loved college and since finishing college in september, I have moved to Dublin for a very good job and have been there for 6 months. The thing is, i haven't really been able to settle into the new job or to life in dublin.

    I seem to have drifted apart from most of my friends from college and home. I work long hours in work (8.30am - 7.30pm) and by the time i get home in the evenings i just want to cook dinner and watch TV for the night. I feel that if i quit the job i'd be passing up a massive opportunity. Also the people i work with are very nice and I would feel bad leaving. The job itself is stressful and at times i do dread going into work and can find it tough motivating myself but at other times i like the work and it can be quite enjoyable.

    I do at times feel lonely at the weekends. The long hours at work have made it hard to do any of hobbies during the week and at the weekend i seem to just relax after a tough week. Plus getting around dublin can be very tough without a car. Any time i do meet up with friends, its usually one or two drinks just to catch up on the weekend but that would be it.

    Anyway, at present there is nothing really tying me to Ireland so I was planning on moving abroad for a few years while i'm still young. The basic fear I have of doing this are that I would be moving on my own so I'm worried about being stuck abroad without even my family nearby. Also I do worry that when i return i could end up drifting further apart from my friends, without a good job and just be several years older.

    Just basically want to know if other people have been in the same scenario and what they did and how they coped.

    Thanks in Advance.


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    #2
    Afuera
    Closed Accounts Posts: 619 ✭✭✭Afuera


    Hi there,

    I know how you feel with the work situation in Dublin. The description you give of working hard and then trying to recover on your time off was how my work/life cycle was a couple of years back, after I finished college.

    Even though I was in a good position at a decent company it eventually (after 2+ years) reached the stage where I decided that there are better ways to live and I made the move abroad. The fact that I couldn't afford any of the houses that I would have liked to live in, the lack of decent transport, the lack of other options besides the pub and the crappy weather did nothing to hold me there. After making that move and being able to compare the way I live my life now to the way I had to live back then, I feel like I've hit the jackpot!

    I also had reservations of leaving my family and friends but now realise in the era of cheap airfares that I had no need to worry about this. I'm still able to see them quite regularly and it often costs me less to fly back than it would to take a train between Dublin and Cork. When I see them nowadays there tends to be more quality time together since I go back really with the sole intention of catching up with them. Also, no matter where you go in the world you will find new friends and learn things from them that you would not have back home.

    While I think that moving abroad can be a very worthwhile option to take, the fact you've only been in your current job for six months is a big factor to take into consideration here. In many of the job markets abroad (which are in no way booming like the Irish market) at least 1 years experience is required before they'd even be interested in talking to you. This is of course assuming that you would like to continue working in the same field that you do now (and are not looking for a total change of career).

    Does your company have offices in other locations around the world? If it's possible to transfer offices like this it can provide a welcome change of scenery and keep you motivated and happier, without having to give up everything you've achieved so far.

    If that's not an option and you still really just want to head off, I think that maybe weathering it out for the next 6 months would be in your best interest to pull you over that years experience mark. It would also give you time to save some cash and plan on where you should set your sights afterwards.

    Best of luck.


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