Personal Statement

Civilian_Target

I have to produce a personal statement as part of an appication for my postgraduate research course and I'm a little stuck, mostly with the phrasing.
The exact question is:

Personal Statement: Describe your academic interests and reasons for applying. Include details of work experience relevant to your proposed study, career objectives and relevand non-academic interest

followed by a blank area, about 3/4 of an A4 page, which gives me about 200-250 words to make my case. Here's what I've come up with (modified to meet the charter).

My enthusiasm throughout school for science, mathematical reasoning and
computing led to the choice of an undergraduate joint honours degree in Computer
Science and Physics, which I have thoroughly enjoyed. Throughout my studies I have
engaged in substantial laboratory work, group projects and individual research.
Many of areas of study which I have found most fascinating have touched on the
borders of high performance computing, the area in which I would hope
to continue my career, hence my motivation for applying for the Msc in Advanced
Computing. This degree would allow me to specialise in the area of high
performance computing, an area in which college name excels.
During my degree I have taken the opportunity to engage in optional work
placements. I spent a year working in large software corporation, where I was
placed in the field of software performance analysis, where I gained valuable
experience in the areas of project management, J2EE code profiling, database 
performance and software analysis, and I found the combination of scientific 
reasoning and software skills required to be extremely appealing. I also 
completed a name of organisation placement working as a web programmer in Macedonia. 
Aside from requiring skills in database design and applications, and PHP 
programming, it challenged my communication and social skills and heightened
my cultural awareness. These abilities have served me well outside of work too,
including as a member of the university orchestra and as part of the very relevant but personally identifying society.

Any comments, help, advice or useful links appreciated!

Sleepy

I'd check some of your grammar but aside from that it's pretty good. Don't feel restricted to the 3/4 of a page you're offered in the application form. If you have enough relevant information you can extend this further.

Personally, I'd recommend attaching the Personal Statement as a seperate typed page rather than writing it on the application form. It adds a touch of gravitas to your application and makes you appear more committed to the course.

Civilian_Target

I'd actually argue that final point - I always reckon you're given a specific size of box because thats the most they want to read about you. The fact is, most people aren't that special, nor am I, and if I can't make a case in the given space they're probably not interested. Lets face it, if you were a recuiter, would you want to read a CV that's longer than 2 pages or would you be more likely to give thorough consideration to a rather good one page resume? Anyway, sending your application by registered mail is a much better way of adding gravitas IMHO

Litcagral

Civilian_Target wrote:

I'd actually argue that final point - I always reckon you're given a specific size of box because thats the most they want to read about you. The fact is, most people aren't that special, nor am I, and if I can't make a case in the given space they're probably not interested. Lets face it, if you were a recuiter, would you want to read a CV that's longer than 2 pages or would you be more likely to give thorough consideration to a rather good one page resume? Anyway, sending your application by registered mail is a much better way of adding gravitas IMHO

Civilian Target - I'd agree with you about the one page resumé but I'd be cautious about the using registered mail. Having to sign for letters can be annoying for some people and may trigger the comment "who does he think he is?".

Good luck.