Can't stop bumping into people!!!

LegacyUser

Hey folks,

I was a bit apprehensive about posting a thread on this, but I thought I'd give it a shot and see what happens!

I don't know if there's a psychological explaination for this, but... y'know when you're walking somewhere, say into a shop, and you're walking towards someone, one has to go one way, and one has to go the other way or else you'll walk into each other. Makes sense!

But, often people go the same way, both go left, then both go right, and bump into each other! This is a fair normal thing, happens to everyone; but I've noticed lately that it happens to me an awful lot, like nearly every day! It's getting a bit embaressing to be honest, and I'm just wondering if there's an explaination for this? Is it something about being indecisive? Lack of confidence? Am I reading too much into it?

It's the same sort of thing when 2 people are walking towards a door from opposite sides, one opens the door, and either (a) lets the other walk through, or (b) the other lets THEM walk through. Well what often happens with me is I let them go, but they let me go too, so in that second between letting each other, I've walked through and so have they, so we walk into each other. "No you go first" "No you go" "No you go" "N--" "ok" *bump*



Now, it sounds like a stupid problem alright, doesn't it? It's fairly harmless now, sure, but I'm actually starting to think, what happens when I start driving? When I'm crossing the road for example at a road leading to a roundabout: I look at the driver to see if they're gonna let me go across, and sometimes I think I see a bit of a gesture, then try cross, and they have to hit the brakes, or they're gesturing to let me go, and I'm unsure, so I wait til I'm sure, at which point they get frustrated and go on.
Again, not too bad, but, if I'm driving, and someone gestures to let me go, and I misread it, it could lead to an accident, and I could injure or kill someone.

Any help is appreciated, and feel free to hypothesise as to why I always do this sort of thing! Thanks!

IzzyWizzy

Not a problem IMO. It happens to everyone. It happens to me loads as well going through doorways because I always try to be considerate and let people past while loads of people just keep going and make people avoid them. A lot of people are pretty ignorant TBH, like if I'm going into a shop or whatever and someone is coming out I let them out before I go in. I thought that was common sense/manners but these days people just try and squeeze past me to get in, resulting in a clash. I think you need to look confident and keep going so people will avoid YOU. Put headphones in and develop a glassy stare. This is the only way I manage to walk into college without muppets colliding with me cos I didn't move for "them."

If I see a driver gesture to me, I always take it as I'm meant to cross in front. You are not supposed to gesture 'no' because it can easily be misread as 'yes'. Sure if they don't want you to cross they shouldn't do anything. Wouldn't worry about it too much TBH

Gandhi

Are you left-handed? My wife's friend is constantly bumping into people and her theory is that being left-handed means she instinctively goes left to avoid people, while most people would go right.

Creamy Goodness

this happens to me all the time, what i try to do to combat it is just to stand still, make them make the decision that way you don't both go left or go right.

ps. i'm left handed but i don't know if that means anything

bug

I know what you're talking about.
The secret is, not to make eye contact with people approching you.
Seriously. It works

kittex

Generally yes, it happens to everyone. Although psychologists and counsellors say if it happens to a person to an excessive level, it is to do with confidence and presence.

And re: the driving, it's actually not 'road safety' for them to gesture you over, as they can't account for another driver overtaking them or rushing round the corner.

Why not just wave them on?

daRobot

Dip your shoulder (Not agressively obviously) in the way that you want them to go.

Works a treat.

Esel

bumping_dude wrote:

.. both go left, then both go right, and bump into each other...

Both go left = pass (no bump).

Both go right = same.

As daRobot says, it's all about body language - reading the other person's and giving your own.

LegacyUser

kittex wrote:

Generally yes, it happens to everyone. Although psychologists and counsellors say if it happens to a person to an excessive level, it is to do with confidence and presence.

Thanks for the help people, just wondering kittex if you have a link to some psychologists' or counsellors' thoughts about the matter? Or can you reference a study that I could read about?

Thanks

jdwals

I agree with the left handed idea in some of the cases. I'm left handed and my natural move is to go left. However, with a masive percentage of the population being right handed, they have a natural inclenation to go right which means we both end up going the same direction and bump into each other!
I do try to go right myself as much as I can but sometimes if I am thinking of something else my body just moves naturaly to the left and then it's.. Doh!

LegacyUser

no I'm not left-handed, that rules that out Nice theory though

I often feel a bit disorientated in my day-to-day life, too, and do stupid things. I'm pretty sure that this is related to some medicine I'm on, which affects the brain a bit (not long-term). For instance, putting sugar in the fridge, or butter in the press (as opposed to fridge). Things like that... I'm only young too, a year out of school, so I'm pretty sure that rules out Alzheimer's, but correct me if I'm wrong!

thanks

MagnumForce

I used to always bump into people and do the go left go right go left business, one day i got fed up with peoples stupidity and now i go left/right once, if the other person goes the same way i just stand there and they go around me, it works a treat.

bumping_dude wrote:

no I'm not left-handed, that rules that out Nice theory though

I often feel a bit disorientated in my day-to-day life, too, and do stupid things. I'm pretty sure that this is related to some medicine I'm on, which affects the brain a bit (not long-term). For instance, putting sugar in the fridge, or butter in the press (as opposed to fridge). Things like that... I'm only young too, a year out of school, so I'm pretty sure that rules out Alzheimer's, but correct me if I'm wrong!
thanks

I do **** like that all the time and im not even on medicine! like put a knife back in the drawer after cutting some food, almost putting the butter in the dishwasher, actually once i put a piece of clothing in the dishwasher! ha! im only young, 19 and im sure its not Alzheimers, happens to loads of people, its just absentmindedness. Oddly enough, it seems to mostly happen in the kitchen... hmmm

Back to the bumping issue, when ever i walk down a crowded street, i find its always me getting out of other peoples way, noone ever gets out of my way. and its not a lack of self confidence cos ive tried just walking straight as an experiment and people just walk into me!!! im usually walking pretty steadily wearing a leather biker jacket with long hair, you'd think at least old people would get out of my way, fearing id rob them or something(which of course id never do), but no! on the plus side ive now perfected the art of dodging people fast and effectivly in quick succesion

LegacyUser

Had a friend who did that a lot and she went to the doctor. Turns out she needed her ears syringed (cleaned out) as a waxy build up threw her balance way off course! I'm not offering medical advice but ask your doctor to check your ears

satchmo

bug wrote:

I know what you're talking about.
The secret is, not to make eye contact with people approching you.
Seriously. It works

Yup, this is the answer. They look at you, think you're not paying attention or haven't seen them, and they take the avoiding action.

LegacyUser

hmmm... it's interesting that you mentioned the ear thing, cos I've had problems with my ears most of my life, I have perferated ear-drums, and generally have a build-up of wax in there too, so maybe that's it It makes sense anyway!

Thanks for that

can't get them syringed cos of the ear-drums, but next time I'm getting a check-up, I'll see if they can clear out more of the wax.

Julez

haha, this is mad, all the different things that cause, can cause or are theories to causing this!

~Leanne~

Happens me a lot too - can be a little embarassing alright!!

Untense

Maybe it's your body language? Do you look in the direction you're walking? We all subconciously judge each others direction based on where they are looking, so if you're a bit nervous or preoccupied maybe you're not looking in the direction you're moving and so you're sending 'mixed signals' to people approaching.

Next time you're walking through town let your head lead. Turn your head so it points slightly in the direction you intend to move.

lau1247

I hate it when people walking on the street and the are coming toward you.. and the fact that they didn't even make an effort to avoid you like you try to avoid them..

what is up with that?? they think they own the road?
I got so annoyed that now days I don't even bother to move over unless they try also..
Otherwise I just hold my ground.. If I bump..
then i bump..

any annoyed like i'm here about this?

Esel

lau1247 wrote:

I hate it when people walking on the street and the are coming toward you.. and the fact that they didn't even make an effort to avoid you like you try to avoid them..

what is up with that?? they think they own the road?
I got so annoyed that now days I don't even bother to move over unless they try also..
Otherwise I just hold my ground.. If I bump..
then i bump..

any annoyed like i'm here about this?

It would be cooler to stop before the bump, then they have to go around you. However, it will take you a long time to educate the world in this way. It does make them detour though, and avoids the bump.

Dermington

target fixation.

you go towards what you look at.

Q.E.D.

Dermot.

mysterious

kittex wrote:

Generally yes, it happens to everyone. Although psychologists and counsellors say if it happens to a person to an excessive level, it is to do with confidence and presence.

And re: the driving, it's actually not 'road safety' for them to gesture you over, as they can't account for another driver overtaking them or rushing round the corner.

Why not just wave them on?

Yep, it's also could be stress, When I was doing my exams a few years ago, and I was under so much pressure and stress I was unconciously bumping into walls and doors and sometimes people as it happens to everyone I guess at some stage or another, and if you are more concious of the fact you could bump into people, well it will be more likely to happen. there could be an invisible wavelenghts between you and the target (vibes) causing you to attract this phenomenon,

I can blink and make someone come to me:D blink,
damn it's not working, I suppose its limited.

mysterious

esel wrote:

It would be cooler to stop before the bump, then they have to go around you. However, it will take you a long time to educate the world in this way. It does make them detour though, and avoids the bump.

It's like the pothole scenario on the roads Note: especially Ireland. The only difference is, if you stop you car and wait, the pothole is'nt going to move, I tested it, If anyone thinks it might work , it dosn't I'm afraid. so you have to work around it.

If you want to straight to town, you have to note the bends, turns, lefts, right, and pick up the sh!te go left go right etc.