Best man speech

berengar

Hi I have a best man's speech next month for my brother,
this is really stressing me out as I hate public speaking and
really don't want to do it.

I know its gonna be just humilating and will just ruin my day (week) .

Any advice ?

Sandals

definaely take a feew to cam the nerves 1st, try and go ta a quiet place and find your inner confidence, as bent as that says, it;s there, and as hard as it is to admit it, these people are not judging you they jusw want to satisfy their need for entertainment through the bond of relationship.

No_Regrets

Well I think you should relax about all this. Get a few ideas together about your brother and your good memories; I would say keep things light and humourous without making any digs so to speak. Everyone there just wants to toast the happy couple and nobody will be judging your public speaking skills! Be yourself and do your best not to worry, good luck!

Sandals

Listen to uplifting music, such as Oxygen by Mason Willie, remember people are having their insides ripped outside, while watching their kids been raped, I.e much worse things could behapppening, seek solace in the fact that this is your moment, you only have one chance to rock, so take it, before it takes you, once it's over you will have the regret haunting you for ever if you mess up.

Lindaloo

One word of advice, if you don't want to write a full speech out, do write down some notes and that'll ensure you don't drift on onto a tangent.

Remember that you everyone there is there for your brother and his wife, they aren't there to judge you, they are there to celebrate and to laugh at his expense thanks to you. Make it as short or as long as you like, make people laugh and make them smile at the lurrrve in the room and you're sailing.

One thing to keep everyone interested in the speech thing is to have betting in place, you could print off betting slips to leave on the tables and have a big collection, this always lightens the mood too.

Don't let it get so huge that it wrecks your day, you'll be grand. Good luck!

tbh

"I'm a bit nervous giving this speech. It's fair to say, this isn't the first time I've stood up from a warm seat with a piece of paper in my hand. My friends told me to put a few lines down. Now I've done them, I feel much better. "

The trick is, if you appear confident, you actually will be. My suggestion is to get the speech done as quickly as possible so you can remember it on the day. If you are nervous, keep it simple, and short - no-one will complain, trust me. Write down the key points on cards, but don't have too many or you'll get lost -don't rely on the cards to tell you what to say, just a reminder if you lose your way. Compliment everyone, have the toast and sit yo' ass back down quick. Good luck!

V1llianous

I was terribly nervous about making a speech at my wedding. I wrote the speech in half an hour the night before and rehearsed it a few times.

We waited till after the meal which made time drag and I couldn't manage to eat the meal. If possible do the speeches before the meal.

Most people will be supportive. Lots of little jokes (no digs) work out well and once the first laughs come you will find it will be no bother.

Get it over and done with then chase the bridesmaids.

muppetkiller

Ya i had to be best man for my brothers and was never more nevous in my life...

The books on the subject are rubbish..so simply start by saying
- before I start I think you'll all agree with me when I say the Bride looks absolutley breathtaking today ...pause and everyone claps

see now everyone is now applauding you..

Then do your bit on the brother (you don't need to include a funny story from his past ) ..my opening line on my brother was " I really hate my brother...pause...because he's so god dam nice" which he is everyone laughed and then you continue ...
It also doesn't need to be really long most people hate the speech as much as you do.

Mention something about how honoured you are to welcome the Brides family into yours...

Then do the letters from the people who couldn't make it

then toast the bride and groom...

then sit down relax wipe your palms and have ten drinks to calm you heart hehehe


and enjoy it ...your the main man

Vegeta

i rocked at my bro's weddin, was really nervous but some funny childhood stories (helps that my bro had loads) and really compliment the bride and in laws for being so helpful to your brother. Also ask early on can the guests hear you, they will defo lose interest if the mic is crap and they cant hear what you're sayin, should be your second line

"Hello everybody, on behalf on X and Y thanks for coming along, before i go on can everyone hear me ok or will i speak up for those in the back"

or somethin like that!

Preparation is the number one word, get the speech done asap, know it inside out and backwards. Know your crowd, is it ok to make slightly rude joke or not. Know these things and you'll be sorted

Untense

You're stressing yourself out a lot over this.

Instead of worrying about the negative things, try to think positively, you have been given a chance to say a few kind words in honour of your brother and his soon to be wife.

If speaking isn't your thing, just keep it short and sweet, you could point out the brides beauty, your brothers luck and simply congratulate the two of them.
Try to enjoy your night and don't let such a small thing stain a nice memory and a good session.

Short and sweet will do the trick and remember everyone is there to show support for the happy couple, not to judge your oratory skills.

MadMoss

Ask the bride and groom can speeches be made before the meal. That way u get the speech out of the way first and u don't have to worry about it while u are eating your dinner.
Also the best speeches are the shortest speeches. Be complimentry. As mentioned above, all the guests just want is an opertunity to toast the bride and groom, you just thank all the people who helped organise the day (, one at a time), and then invite everyone to wish the couple all the best.
It's not that bad, you'll be fine.
Later

Jonny Arson

At my bro-in-laws wedding his best man put on a fantastic speech despite the fact that he has a stammer and was very nervous beforehand.

It's about being relaxed and not trying too hard. No need to go on absolutely forever, just short and sweet. Try to get a nice funny story about the groom in there too which doesn't try to be too clever.

Also practice makes perfect! Good luck

spockety

I recently did a best man's speech at a wedding of a mate of mine in front of a group of complete strangers.

Here's my advice to you:

Buy some books on best mans speech writing. I used "One liners for Wedding Speeches" by Mitch something or other (you'll see it in Easons), as well as a couple of other general best man's books.

Print the speech out IN FULL on a5 paper. Use a different colour for each paragraph (this will help you keep track of where you are as you scan the speech while reading it moving your eyes up to the room and back down to the paper while people are laughing, which they will be).

Start preparing about a month in advance, and finalize your speech about 2 weeks before hand. Then learn it off, practise practise practise, until you know it backwards, and can read it off the paper (not necessarily by heart) while appearing confident and flowing.

Don't think you have to use hilarious anecdotes about the groom, or don't worry too much about them. The stories you find hilarious may not necessarily be funny to the rest of the room, or indeed may be offensive. Remember, there'll be kids and grannies there. General humour is funnier, old cliched jokes will still get laughs even if people have heard them a thousand times.

The most valuable piece of advice that I had was to realise that people in the room WANT you to succeed. They will WILL you on through laughing at your speech etc. They will have had a few drinks, and are there to see you do WELL, not FAIL. You can and should feed off this good will that will be in the room on the day.

Hope that helps.

liamo

Some good advice in the previous posts.

Preparation is everything. If you know what you're going to say, the nerves will be a little less frayed on the day and you'll be able to concentrate on your delivery.

Remember that nobody expects you to be the world greatest wit, nor a speechwriter of Shakesperean proportions. A lot of people will have been in the same situation as you, will know how difficult a job it is, and will be very eager to support you with applause.

The guests are there to have a good time, they will be full of food, have a few drinks and will be in great form. They're ready to smile and laugh and clap. All you have to do is give them the excuse to do it. It doesn't take much. The crappiest, corniest one-liner in the world will be enough to get some laughs.

Be sincere, flatter the bride and the bridemaids, say how lucky the groom is, etc, etc. (Hopefully, being sincere and flattering the girls are not incompatible actions)

If you're going to tell a funny story about the bride and/or groom, make SURE that it's a very gentle ribbing that everyone will enjoy. NEVER tell a joke at someone's expense.

Don't drink too much. One or two to calm the nerves is ok, but remember that you don't want to be slurring your way through your speech. There's plenty of time for boozing after the speeches.

Other than that, relax. You're there to enjoy the day too.

Regards,

Liam

babaduck

Don't stress yourself out - a little planning goes a LONG way when you're doing a speech. And please don't ask your bro or new SIL to change the speeches to before the meal... if they had wanted to do this, they would have (it's a wee bit rude).

Our BM is my husbands best mate and he was apparently nervous as hell beforehand, but he played a blinder on the day (as did my husband) - they wrote out the entire speech and then practiced reading it a good few times so they were comfortable with the content and timing.

I made a speech too, and followed the same principles - rehearse, rehearse and rehearse again!

One site that we all found to be v. helpful was http://www.hitched.co.uk/speeches/index.asp - there are guidelines as to what each person should mention, and a load of actual speeches (which you could cog bits from!!!)

My other advice - if you're not a natural comedian, save the jokes for the pub and concentrate on being sincere - people can tell the difference!!!

Coney Island

berengar wrote:

Hi I have a best man's speech next month for my brother,
this is really stressing me out as I hate public speaking and
really don't want to do it.

I know its gonna be just humilating and will just ruin my day (week) .

Any advice ?

Watch WWE Wrestling and look at the way those guys do monologues...a lot to learn, seriously!!!

ionapaul

spockety and liamo gave some great advice - remember, the audience WANTS you to be funny and to succeed, they will probably laugh at the worst joke in the world and enjoy themselves. Plus they've all been at a bar by the speeches stage, so all are good humoured.

I was my friend's BM last year, I am used to speaking in public but have never been so nervous in my life. It is amazing, you know most of the people but are terrified for some strange reason. I am my brother's BM this year and no doubt will be afraid again. To echo what other's said, go onto the internet and nick a few tried and tested one liners, some are really funny. Add in a ton of compliments for the ladies and maybe a sweet and funny story showing off how nice the groom is and bob's your uncle.

I kept my speech down to less than 10 minutes, probably closer to 5, which everyone appreciated. Keep it short, nothing worse than a rambler...unless you are Robin Williams funny, of course!

gandalf

I have done the best man gig once and what I recommend is to know what your speech is a week in advance and practice it out loud a couple of times in front of the mirror. As another poster said have notes so if you lose your train of thought you can pick it up again, I used small index cards (very handy to slip into the suit jacket.

With regards to the speech itself, get something humourous about your brother and base the speech around that and if its something funny about him and his new wife even better (I was lucky I had a good one about the way my mate asked his wife to marry him while we all were on holiday together so I based the speech around that). Do not be too crude and DO NOT DRINK before you make the speech.

Again try and practice the speech a few times before the day and you will find on the day all will go well.

berengar

Lads thanks for all your help, I have found the perfect solution,
I have practised my speech in empty rooms and I still fuk it up
so I can only imagine it in front of 100+ people.

So am setting a new trend here and giving no speech.

Narc

There's been some really good advice here already (especially from Liamo) so I'll try not to repeat what's been said. I was best man at my brother's wedding before xmas and was pretty nervous beforehand. I did it differently to most speeches in that I gave it in 3 parts. You will need to introduce the priest for grace before and after meals, after which you'll take up the mic in earnest.

I started by thanking everyone for coming and also thanked the priest for a lovely mass. Then I complimented the bride on how beautifull she looked and had everyone stand up toast her. This was a good way to start as the audience participation really calmed my nerves and it gave me half a minute to compose myself. I started by telling the story of how they met which is quite funny, luckily for me and it got a nice round of applause. After this I introduced the auld lad to say a few words after which I told a funny (but innocent) story about my brother when he was young, which also received laughs a round of applause. Then I passed the mic to the father of the bride to say his piece and when the mic came back to me I finished by recalling a time a few years back when my brother told me that this was the girl for him...I'd recommend finishing with something really sincere like this, you know...where everybody goes 'awww'. My last words were where I spoke of my fondness for the bride and (on behalf of all of our family in the room), welcomed her into our clan.

Breaking it up in this way gave me time to compose myself in-between stories and also to nail down exactly what I was going to say next. I was left with no doubt afterwards that evryone thought it was a great speech so I was chuffed, albiet slightly drained from the experience. If you need to write stuff out then just use that as a backup in case your mind goes blank...it doesn't look good if your reading the whole thing from cards. Practicing it beforehand goes without saying and keep it short (definately not over ten minutes). The best thing you can do for this kind of speech is be sincere...everyone will appreciate that. And get the crowd up off their arses for a few toasts at the very start to give you a little beather when you will probably need it most. Of course you will be nervous but look at it this way...this is your brother and his bride-to-be's day...you are just there to make it even better and in fairness, it's not like your getting married or anything! And don't forget the rings!!! I was saved by the head grooms man shortly before the ceremony, as I'd left them in the bloody glove compartment of my car! Best of luck mate.

Wacker

Try this Rodney Dangerfield line: "My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met." Thats all you need!

Was going out for years before getting married. The best man at my Wedding got hold of my first Valentine card to my now wife and read it to everyone - it had a long romantic poem. I was MORTIFIED. Then he produced a tiny scrap of paper and said it was my most recent Valentine card, and read out 'gone drinking and watching football with the lads, back for dinner, love Conor'. Brought the place down.

Wacker

Deleted User wrote:

Was going out for years before getting married. The best man at my Wedding got hold of my first Valentine card to my now wife and read it to everyone - it had a long romantic poem. I was MORTIFIED. Then he produced a tiny scrap of paper and said it was my most recent Valentine card, and read out 'gone drinking and watching football with the lads, back for dinner, love Conor'. Brought the place down.

That is absolute class! I imagine my broither will be getting married relatively soon, and I'll probably be the best man. Do I have your permission to rob that gag? I know I'm going to have to improvise the Valentine's Day card, but the effect will be the same.

I heard a story about a father of the bride speech once that I thought was great. He started off deliebartely trying to mortify his daughter, saying a speech about how back in the day, she thought she was being really sly and evasive by getting copies of the backdoor key cut and giving them to various guys in order that they would be able to slip in in the wee hours and pay her a visit while everyone was asleep. Now, however, as she was settling down, these days are obviously going to be behind her, so in the interests of security, I'm going to have to ask for all those keys back. He then put a little basket on the table in front of him, and EVERY GUY THERE went up and dropped a key into it (having giving them out before hand). Even the five year olds.

Class.

dudara

To the OP, just look back on all the posts here. So many people have replied who were in the same boat as you. But everyone here got it done, and you will too. The very best of luck to you

berengar

No Honestly lads!! I wasn't joking when I said earlier I couldnt even do this in an empty room !!! anyway its a very non trad. wedding they wont mind if i give no speech

hairyheretic

If you need help with the speech itself, have a look here:

http://www.hitched.co.uk/speeches/examples/showall.asp?type=1

Over 900 best mans speeches. They should give you a few ideas on how to format your own.

nikorami

If you are treating it as a SPEECH...then don't do it!!! This is supposed to be a tribute to your brother...he honored you with this request. It should be heart felt words about him. IT IS NOT PUBLIC SPEAKING! It should be an opportunity to remember him and wish him the best on his future.

BaZmO*

There's a few givens when giving a Best Man's speech.

You will be extremely nervous on the day and unfortunately there's nothing anyone can say to you that will make you feel any less nervous.

You will wonder what all the fuss was about after you've given your speech.

Everybody there wants you to do well. Nobody takes pleasure in seeing someone fall flat on their face

Preparation is key. It's a good idea (imo essential) to know the running order of the speeches and to make sure everybody knows what they have to say beforehand so as to make sure you're not all repeating yourselves. The speech will be a lot easier on you if you concentrate on just doing the basics right. You'll get the traditional running order on the net, base your speech on that first and then wedge in jokes around it.

Your friends will mind if you don't do the speech.

One-liners work amazingly well. Even cheesy ones.

Long stories are only good if they have a point and you can pull them off.

Being sincere and kind is extremely important.

Keep it short.

Writing it down is essential.

Having a few drinks beforehand is fine, only you know how much drink you can handle, but remember, there is a fine line between having some dutch courage and being drunk and over confident to the point of being obnoxious.

http://www.hitched.co.uk/speeches/ex...all.asp?type=1

If the speech goes well there is nothing like the feeling afterwards when everybody tells you how well it went.

spockety

nikorami wrote:

If you are treating it as a SPEECH...then don't do it!!! This is supposed to be a tribute to your brother...he honored you with this request. It should be heart felt words about him. IT IS NOT PUBLIC SPEAKING! It should be an opportunity to remember him and wish him the best on his future.

Rubbish. The Best Man is essentially the keynote speaker at the function. He should honour the guests by going to the trouble to prepare it as best he can. It is very much public speaking.

Savman

Best advice so far: keep it short and sweet, crack a cheesy joke or 2 and keep smilin, noone cares trust me

berengar

berengar wrote:

Hi I have a best man's speech next month for my brother,
this is really stressing me out as I hate public speaking and
really don't want to do it.

I know its gonna be just humilating and will just ruin my day (week) .

Any advice ?

Forgot to thank everyone here for their advice !!
Cheers the wedding/speech went brilliantly!!!

Dave!

That's good news, fair play to you for doin it despite bein petrified

LegacyUser

Hi,
I've been reading the posts on best man speeches and it does help a good bit. I have the wedding on Thursday and we have been to rehersal and all already. I have the sppech 99% done and rehersed it like crazy...

I have decided to stay away from the common best man speeches found on the internet and have written something personal about how I became friends with my mate when we were 9 years old. It's a humourous story - not side spliting laughter tho.

Then I go on about how we are good friends, I compliment the bride and then wish them good luck / toast the happy couple.... There are a few funny lines in there as it progresses.

The thing is that I don't know how to introduce the speech. I have been told to toast the bride and toast the bridesmaids for all their help, as well as the priest... Whats the best way to do this?

Also most people will know who I am on the grooms side, but very little will know me on the brides. Should I introduce myself as the grooms partner in crime???

I have then been told that I have to introduce the priest after my speech.

Can anyone help me out??

Cheers!