Untitled, as yet.

Blush_01

He’s snoring on my couch. I can see his shoulder muscles curve under his t-shirt. I’m sitting in a chair, watching TV, watching him sleep, waiting for the kettle to boil or my nerves to stop jangling. His hand hangs over the edge of the cushion, he looks as though he’s clutching it for stability. I rise and put my favourite CD on, letting the sounds of TV and stereo clash and compliment each other as sound waves meet and crash, causing peaks and troughs. I sit back down, close my eyes and let the crazy sounds wash over me. I don’t know if the combination sounds like very bad jazz or a cautious tempest. The crests of each wave boom loudly, and yet he sleeps on. I envy him.

Infomercials fill the TV screen with bright pictures and over-eager sounds. I quench the brightness with the remote, sitting in the relative darkness with fingers of light creeping over the island in the kitchen from the small spotlights for the countertop. Outside, the sky is beginning to purple, soon to pink into dawn. I want to wake him so he can see its magnificence too, but instead I throw the French doors wide open and curl my arms around myself as I step out onto the damp decking. A light mist of raindrops has dusted it with droplets that shine in the stray, dull beams of light seeping from the kitchen. The stars look remarkably vivid for the time of the morning, in a freshly washed sky. Again, I suppress the urge to call him and make him stand here with me, drawing his arms like bands of safe warmth around me. I light a cigarette, watching the amber tip glow like a bead of fury. I am so mad at myself right now. If I could only wake him and make him share this. Then he’d have something to remember.

In the morning, well, after we’ve both slept, I make coffee and toast, hanging another cigarette between my lips as I look at the clear and bright morning. No hint of last night’s mist remains. He reaches for my hand across the small table. “Hey, you alright?” “Yeah, fine, just thinking.” I smile, but it feels weak to me. I hope he doesn’t see how dull my eyes are, or how strained the lines that curve my mouth remain. He pats my hand affectionately, and I know he’s read the situation somewhere between what it is and what I want him to see. I can’t do anything more about that.

“You going to see Karen today?” “Hadn’t planned on it.” “Maybe you should, she appreciates it when you call.” He sounds more like my dad than anything else in the cold light of day. As I wash the dishes fat tears drip onto the clean plates and my silent sobs echo in the coffee cups. There is no explanation that I can give him, and I don’t think he’d want one if he knew how much it hurt to find it. Anyway, we’re back to square one. He’s sleeping on the couch again and a sunbeam is dancing on the coffee table near, but not quite beside, his head. I dry the dishes and put them away. It’s soothing to have my hands wrinkle like an old ladies. It makes me feel so real, not at all as transient as I usually feel.

I hold the ivory envelope to the fridge door, attaching it with chunky alphabet magnets. Whispering goodbye, I grab my keys and bag. He stirs a little, but doesn’t wake. I blow him a kiss, it starts to rain, and I run for the car.

Wow. I liked that story. Though the first few lines made me believe it was going to be an erotic story. You got my hopes up there :P It's very well written, extremely descriptive, but not to the point of being overly-so. Good work. Very good work. Is there going to be another installment of this?

Blush_01

Eh, I don't know, it's a first draft that was written in about 15 minutes... Maybe? *smiles unconvincingly*

I'm so damn lazy!

kittenkiller

I liked it insomuch as I'm not a critic or anything like that, but I know that if there was more of it I'd keep reading.

Good work!

Lothaar

Too much description, not enough plot. I suggest you include something to tantalise the reader in the first paragraph (first sentence if possible).
The descriptions are nice, though.

shiv

I wish I could write a draft like that in 15 minutes!
I disagree it needs more plot, I think it flows fine and has enough emotional punches and wise observations to carry it off.
Seriously, I think you're my new favourite writer on this forum