Article for us all and Gholi......

BigDragon

SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT:
Todd Arnold

This article is a bit different in nature. It’s not about strategy or even about the game itself. It’s about an epiphany I recently had. It pertains to those of us who play online poker daily and how it can affect your life. And, even if you are a winning player, the effects can be quite negative to your personal life. In this article I am going to go out on a limb and open up to you about what has happened in my personal life due to my continuous play online. It’s not going to be easy for me to admit some of these things to you, but I feel that they are important so that others don’t make the same mistakes.

I have spoken with many friends who also play online daily and excessively. Over time, we have all noticed the same trend. In my case, I used to be very social. I used to go out and do a lot of things with my friends and girlfriends. What once was a good release and hobby, poker soon became an addiction of a sort and I found myself not going out ever.

My epiphany is that I actually have become antisocial. My phone used to ring 10 times a day from friends and now the phone rings 30 times a day but it’s my players that I coach, business-related calls for poker, projects, and so on. When a friend does call, it always starts the same way. Instead of, “Hey man,” it’s, “Are you playing right now? OK, I won’t bother you.” Hell, even my dad starts the conversation that way. I have made many good friends on the poker tour but my contact with them, for the most part, is at the tournaments on the road and on the phone. So, essentially all my contact with people has to do with business and that is the same as any workaholic in any field. And we know that is not healthy.

My relationship of more than three years with my girlfriend has also ended. Whether I can blame poker entirely for this is unknown, but I’ll tell you it certainly didn’t help the situation. Most of my poker friends are also single. Coincidence? I see many players online playing well into the night and morning hours every day. This means that their spouse or significant other is going to bed alone (or with someone else). At first, it doesn’t seem like much of a big deal, as your relationship is probably strong enough to withstand this, but, over time, your partner will grow tired of it. Maybe he or she will never even say anything because your partner doesn’t want to be unsupportive, but, believe me, it’s not helping your relationship. You may be making a lot of money and spending it on the partner, but that stuff doesn’t matter and is not satisfying your partner’s relationship needs. Attention is what your partner needs, not a Rolex.

Also, many players have a job or career. I have spoken with countless players and they all say the same thing. Whenever they are working, all they think about is poker. My God, this game is worse than crack, I am starting to believe. It is such a great game and great exercise for your mind. Keeping your mind sharp is very important but everything should be done in moderation. People get caught up in the quest for knowledge, desire to get better, and the thrill of the win, and soon the word moderation is not even in their vocabulary.

In short, when playing this game, you must achieve a balance. If you have a job or career, you have to put that first and foremost. If you don’t have a job and poker is your job, then you need to find other hobbies and activities. You need to make time for friends and loved ones. The truth is, you will probably play better if you do. If you don’t take this game in moderation and achieve a good balance, you will soon find that all your friends are only cyberfriends. Your contact with people will consist of instant messaging, phone calls, discussion forums, and poker room chat boxes. And, soon enough, you will find yourself very lonely.

Tone it down a bit and pay attention to your life, because when these things happen, it’ll be very difficult to change it back.

Hectorjelly

I hate to be dismissive, but if you have a problem with any activity, be it drinking gambling computer games etc and it is taking your life over, then spending less time doing it and taking up other interests, especially healthy ones is such an obvious answer that if you cant work this out on your own you are probably in for a life of misery anyway.

If this advice helps please send a dollar to $1 to Happy Dude 743 Evergreen Terrace Springfield.

BigDragon

Hectorjelly wrote:

I hate to be dismissive, but if you have a problem with any activity, be it drinking gambling computer games etc and it is taking your life over, then spending less time doing it and taking up other interests, especially healthy ones is such an obvious answer that if you cant work this out on your own you are probably in for a life of misery anyway.

If this advice helps please send a dollar to $1 to Happy Dude 743 Evergreen Terrace Springfield.

Yes HJ. I posted this in response to Gholi's post last week to point out that these issue's affect top pro's that are successful as well as us mere mortals.

Hectorjelly

BigDragon wrote:

Yes HJ. I posted this in response to Gholi's post last week to point out that these issue's affect top pro's that are successful as well as us mere mortals.

Did anyone not tell Gholi what to do?

BigDragon

Hectorjelly wrote:

Did anyone not tell Gholi what to do?

He cant read.

loosecannon

Hectorjelly wrote:

I hate to be dismissive, but if you have a problem with any activity, be it drinking gambling computer games etc and it is taking your life over, then spending less time doing it and taking up other interests, especially healthy ones is such an obvious answer that if you cant work this out on your own you are probably in for a life of misery anyway.

If this advice helps please send a dollar to $1 to Happy Dude 743 Evergreen Terrace Springfield.

hec you know how rare it would be for me to agree with you on anything, but very good if obvious answer, and that buck is on it's way to happy dude!!

lol

Fatboydim

Hectorjelly wrote:

I hate to be dismissive, but if you have a problem with any activity, be it drinking gambling computer games etc and it is taking your life over, then spending less time doing it and taking up other interests, especially healthy ones is such an obvious answer that if you cant work this out on your own you are probably in for a life of misery anyway.

If this advice helps please send a dollar to $1 to Happy Dude 743 Evergreen Terrace Springfield.

Of course if you're addicted you'll be in denial anyway. I'm worried about you now Hector.... Maybe I could provide you with a phone number

hotspur

Where's Amaru, we need a comment on ABC psychology

DeVore

Fatboydim wrote:

Of course if you're addicted you'll be in denial anyway. I'm worried about you now Hector.... Maybe I could provide you with a phone number

I'm addicted to that bloody game you introduced me too!

Everything in moderation, including moderation...

DeV.

Fatboydim

DeVore wrote:

I'm addicted to that bloody game you introduced me too!

DeV.

We need to work out the gambling angle on it though

iBoT

Fatboydim wrote:

We need to work out the gambling angle on it though

lol:D

iBoT

my mam is saying she is sending me to gamblers anyomus,

I dont even play as much as i use 2!!:D

smurph

BigDragon wrote:

SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT:
Todd Arnold

This article is a bit different in nature. It’s not about strategy or even about the game itself. It’s about an epiphany I recently had. It pertains to those of us who play online poker daily and how it can affect your life. And, even if you are a winning player, the effects can be quite negative to your personal life. In this article I am going to go out on a limb and open up to you about what has happened in my personal life due to my continuous play online. It’s not going to be easy for me to admit some of these things to you, but I feel that they are important so that others don’t make the same mistakes.

I have spoken with many friends who also play online daily and excessively. Over time, we have all noticed the same trend. In my case, I used to be very social. I used to go out and do a lot of things with my friends and girlfriends. What once was a good release and hobby, poker soon became an addiction of a sort and I found myself not going out ever.

My epiphany is that I actually have become antisocial. My phone used to ring 10 times a day from friends and now the phone rings 30 times a day but it’s my players that I coach, business-related calls for poker, projects, and so on. When a friend does call, it always starts the same way. Instead of, “Hey man,” it’s, “Are you playing right now? OK, I won’t bother you.” Hell, even my dad starts the conversation that way. I have made many good friends on the poker tour but my contact with them, for the most part, is at the tournaments on the road and on the phone. So, essentially all my contact with people has to do with business and that is the same as any workaholic in any field. And we know that is not healthy.

My relationship of more than three years with my girlfriend has also ended. Whether I can blame poker entirely for this is unknown, but I’ll tell you it certainly didn’t help the situation. Most of my poker friends are also single. Coincidence? I see many players online playing well into the night and morning hours every day. This means that their spouse or significant other is going to bed alone (or with someone else). At first, it doesn’t seem like much of a big deal, as your relationship is probably strong enough to withstand this, but, over time, your partner will grow tired of it. Maybe he or she will never even say anything because your partner doesn’t want to be unsupportive, but, believe me, it’s not helping your relationship. You may be making a lot of money and spending it on the partner, but that stuff doesn’t matter and is not satisfying your partner’s relationship needs. Attention is what your partner needs, not a Rolex.

Also, many players have a job or career. I have spoken with countless players and they all say the same thing. Whenever they are working, all they think about is poker. My God, this game is worse than crack, I am starting to believe. It is such a great game and great exercise for your mind. Keeping your mind sharp is very important but everything should be done in moderation. People get caught up in the quest for knowledge, desire to get better, and the thrill of the win, and soon the word moderation is not even in their vocabulary.

In short, when playing this game, you must achieve a balance. If you have a job or career, you have to put that first and foremost. If you don’t have a job and poker is your job, then you need to find other hobbies and activities. You need to make time for friends and loved ones. The truth is, you will probably play better if you do. If you don’t take this game in moderation and achieve a good balance, you will soon find that all your friends are only cyberfriends. Your contact with people will consist of instant messaging, phone calls, discussion forums, and poker room chat boxes. And, soon enough, you will find yourself very lonely.

Tone it down a bit and pay attention to your life, because when these things happen, it’ll be very difficult to change it back.

That is possibly the most honost article ive read in a long time, and i can relate to it alot. I met Martin through playing cards and we would be probably the exception to the rule, in that we both play cards (well sometimes I wonder if I can F**ckin well play at all). Definitely you have to have outside things to do. You could very easily go into card clubs in town 5 - 6 times a week. Im lucky probably in that Im not into playing online. Martin does a bit, but nothing to serious. The concept of playing online in itself is a little bit anti-social, ie. you play the game by yourself, and there is no interaction much at all. I know alot of people through cards (as big dragon said) but I really know very little about them, except bluffing patterns (oh sorry betting patterns) etc., Even if you arranged to meet aload of people from say the Fitz in the pub, the conversation would probably revolve around cards. I was going into the Fitz alot during the week for a good year or so, and it did effect my work, and I also noticed if someone wanted to go for a pint after work on Friday, I would be thinking sh*t im going to Texas Holdem Tournament. I go playing cards maybe 2 times and week now and I really enjoy it when i go in. I find I can have more conversation with people, cause I don't see them that often. It took alot a will power to cut down playing the game, but I find that because i did cut down that my play has improved (please don't laugh too much). The answer for me was to cut back a bit, but its not the same for everyone, so good luck with whatever you decide Big Dragon, and maybe we'll have a pint some night.


Sorry slight edit, I thought you wrote the Story Big Dragon, now I see you copied and pasted the Article, god im so quick its unreal!!!!