No Strings Attached

bob_z

Right have this problem at the min but as I'm working it out for myself its not really a PI issue. Just was wondering what other people come across it and how did it work out for them.

Basically story is.... met this girl a few months ago and we got on great. Made it very clear from the start that I wasn't looking for a girlfriend just wanted to have some no strings attached fun (to be blunt a booty call ). So we talked about it and she said that suited her as she was in same boat as me.

Right so fast forward 2 months and she's started to ring me complaining that i won't commit to her and that I’m leading her on by meeting up with her now and again and then she doesn't hear from me for a few days etc.

So anyway my question is.... are women capable of been with a guy without having all the emotional baggage that comes with a relationship?

Beano

Short Answer : NO.
Less Short Answer : She just said she wanted no strings attached in the hope it would turn in to something more serious.

justsomebloke

Beano wrote:

Short Answer : NO.
Less Short Answer : She just said she wanted no strings attached in the hope it would turn in to something more serious.

i have to disagree with the short answer as i think they can. But you are spot on with the Less short answer

LegacyUser

Yes and no, I reckon she duped you, or at least tried too, she probabaly hoped you would fall for her.

I do know girls who have had no strings fun, never wanted to take it to a more serious level, but got pressure for committment from the guys involved

bob_z

jsb wrote:

i have to disagree with the short answer as i think they can. But you are spot on with the Less short answer

I can see where you coming from but really don't think this was the case orginally. At the time it didn't suit her to have a boyfriend so don't think she was thinking like that.

Brend

I think Girls can have no stings fun, but i find if it goes on for long enough someone is going to start to have feelings for the other....and if i had to bet i would say it would be the girl, becuase lets face it the majority of us men are.......well shallow!

Siogfinsceal

she might have been hoping you would fall for her? or maybe at the start she wanted no strings and then fell for you?
usually in this kind of situation, one person likes the other more than intended and the other doesnt reciprocate. As Silly sausage said, sometimes its the guy too! eventually one person wants more than a booty call and unless teh other feels the same its all down hill from there

ravenhead

Brend wrote:

I think Girls can have no stings fun, but i find if it goes on for long enough someone is going to start to have feelings for the other....and if i had to bet i would say it would be the girl, becuase lets face it the majority of us men are.......well shallow!

Completely agree with you, she probably started out wanting to just have a bit of 'craic' but as it became a regular thing she probably couldn't help getting feelings for you ... the f@ck buddy idea is great in theory but it hardly ever really works out

jonny68

bob_z wrote:

Right have this problem at the min but as I'm worked it out for myself its not really a PI issue. Just was wondering what other people come across it and how did it work out for them.

Basically story is.... met this girl a few months ago and we got on great. Made it very clear from the start that I wasn't looking for a girlfriend just wanted to have some no strings attached fun (to be blunt a booty call ). So we talked about it and she said that suited her as she was in same boat as me.

Right so fast forward 2 months and she's started to ring me complaining that i won't commit to her and that I’m leading her on by meeting up with her now and again and then she doesn't hear from me for a few days etc.

So anyway my question is.... are women capable of been with a guy without having all the emotional baggage that comes with a relationship?

It depends on the woman but id estimate that up to 80% of women despite saying otherwise after sometime of shagging are looking for "more" as ive found out in the past myself with some young vixen ,id say high powered business female executives who don't particulary have time for a relationship would be somewhat different,then again some men can be like that where they are shagging a bird and they start to fall for her,human nature i guess,think your best walking away now mate before you cause her any hurt or offload her to me for a while

super_furry

When she agreed to 'no strings', what she meant is 'no strings at first, but then I'll make him love me and we'll have babies.'

Always with the babies.

justsomebloke

bob_z wrote:

I can see where you coming from but really don't think this was the case orginally. At the time it didn't suit her to have a boyfriend so don't think she was thinking like that.

ye i was just mostly agreeing with breano, but she probably had a small wanting for a boyfriend even from the start as it has only been 2 months and for her already to be at the point where she is ringing to complain about you not commiting and not just thinking about you not commiting is a bit quick, as her frustration must of being growing for a while for her to call

Karoma

So anyway my question is.... are women capable of been with a guy without having all the emotional baggage that comes with a relationship?

A few are. Very few though.

ravenhead

super_furry wrote:

When she agreed to 'no strings', what she meant is 'no strings at first, but then I'll make him love me and we'll have babies.'

Always with the babies.

Who told you about our master plan?????? :eek: :eek: :eek:

slipss

In general men look for a girl for sex and girls look fo a man for a relationship. Theres always going to be exeptions, but in my expierience girls that agree to the whole "no strings attached" thing are either just agreeing with you in the hope you will grow to want a relationship, or they are already in a relationship with someone else.

tbh

bob_z wrote:

.... are women capable of been with a guy without having all the emotional baggage that comes with a relationship?

yes.

bob_z-ish wrote:

.... is THIS woman capable of being with me without having all the emotional baggage that comes with a relationship?

no.

bob_z

jonny68 wrote:

It depends on the woman but id estimate that up to 80% of women despite saying otherwise after sometime of shagging are looking for "more" as ive found out in the past myself with some young vixen ,id say high powered business female executives who don't particulary have time for a relationship would be somewhat different,then again some men can be like that where they are shagging a bird and they start to fall for her,human nature i guess,think your best walking away now mate before you cause her any hurt or offload her to me for a while

Walk away...Mate I'm running away

Maybe we should come up with some sort of business that when a girl develops "feelings" we simply trade them in for a newer "non feeling" type model !!!!

BoozyBabe

Rarely & in this case, No.

Women more often than not end up getting emotionally attached, even if that wasn't the idea to begin with, then like your situation, they start getting frustrated cos you're not.
Move on if you don't want the baggage

Yes i believe this
i've had a no strings guy mate for about three years and never once did it bother me when he said "oh ive got a girlf so wont be able to see you for a while" and vice versa
It depends on the girl tbh

I'm attracted to him just never see myself with him so i think its perfect
A lot of my mates are jealous of this because we get on well he's even bringing his girlf to my 21st, I have my own crushes so it doesnt bother me at all.

Cant wait to meet her ..he's fallen for this one ..lol

Talk to the girl

LegacyUser

some are, she's obviously not.

drop that ghetto blaster!

ravenhead

coolsmileygirl wrote:

Yes i believe this
i've had a no strings guy mate for about three years and never once did it bother me when he said "oh ive got a girlf so wont be able to see you for a while" and vice versa
It depends on the girl tbh

I'm attracted to him just never see myself with him so i think its perfect
A lot of my mates are jealous of this because we get on well he's even bringing his girlf to my 21st, I have my own crushes so it doesnt bother me at all.

Cant wait to meet her ..he's fallen for this one ..lol

Talk to the girl

Does she know about you?

aidan_dunne

bob_z wrote:

Right have this problem at the min but as I'm working it out for myself its not really a PI issue. Just was wondering what other people come across it and how did it work out for them.

Basically story is.... met this girl a few months ago and we got on great. Made it very clear from the start that I wasn't looking for a girlfriend just wanted to have some no strings attached fun (to be blunt a booty call ). So we talked about it and she said that suited her as she was in same boat as me.

Right so fast forward 2 months and she's started to ring me complaining that i won't commit to her and that I’m leading her on by meeting up with her now and again and then she doesn't hear from me for a few days etc.

Sounds kind of similar to a situation I was in myself in the recent past only she ended up going slightly (and by "slightly" I actually mean completely! ) OTT when the whole "commitment" thing kicked in with her! Neither of us were looking for anything serious and we both knew that and were happy with that situation. Things were going fine, we were both having fun and a laugh then, BANG, out of the blue, completely out of nowhere and I mean out of nowhere, she starts talking about marriage and kids! And this was just after about 6 weeks or so of seeing each other on and off. No warning at all, no talk of going out together, going through the whole boyfriend and girlfriend stage, nothing. She wanted to skip that whole stage altogether and get hitched. 6 weeks or so (barely even time to get to know each other, to be honest) and, BANG, she wants to get married as soon as possible and start a family! :eek: And you think you have it bad!

So, to answer your question, I think the whole casual relationship/booty call/f**k buddies arrangement usually never works out in the end because, sooner or later, one or the other parties involved (more often, but not exclusively, the female party) will start to have feelings and want a more serious, long-term commitment or things like jealously will kick in or whatever. If you're not ready to make that full-term commitment to her then I think it's best to call it a day completely, I'm afraid. The longer it goes on, the more she'll only end up building her hopes up that you'll commit to her exclusively some day and you'll only end up hurting her more as a result.