Will i ever get sorted!

LegacyUser

Hi. Just read a thread very similar to this, but i still need to get this out. Been with my b/f 2 years.. from the word go the sex has been painful for me. At first we couldn't actually do it.. since he was my first my guess was that my hymen wouldnt actually break. The pain of it was really really bad but after alot of attempting it finally happend. Ever since it's been sore..but deep inside..and to the left!

So after we had sex about a dozen times and it was still sore i went to the doc who told me it was just because i was new to it etc etc and it would eventually go away the more i did it. That never happened. went again a few months later.. this time to a different doc because the other one had left and she sent me for an ultra sound.. to check my ovaries and that. Had to wait about 7 months for the appointment and then that came back clear..more or less. She said i still retained urine in my bladder even though i had went..so the doc did a urine sample..and that too was clear. Got a smear done.. that was also clear. She did a swab..clear. And testing for STI's..clear. The doc went on about it probably being an STI for months..then the results came back and it wasn't..what a waste of time. she should have just refered me to the gynie in the first place.

I'll also add that during all this time..from the time i started to have sex to now, my sex drive has become non existent..i used to be fine before i started having sex but now i never ever want to do it.. and if we ever do ever have sex (i make myself do it for bf's sake) i never produce any lube myself..not one bit..so we use lube..every single time. I dont know whether its because its my subconcious thinking about the
pain or maybe the pill? i went on that just before we started having sex. Also will mention that i dont like being touched down there..when the doctor examines me i tense up so much.. it makes it difficult for her and hurts me and cant stand fingers and i even tense if i tried to insert a tampon myself.. HOWEVER when me and my bf are together i dont tense up at all when his penis goes up there. when the doctor saw how tense i got she thought that that was my problem..and that it was physiocological..maybe thats another part to it but phsiocological or not i still FEEL the pain up there you know? that cant be in my head aswel.

Well anyway she's eventually refered me to a gynie..(she refered me in october. december came and i still got no word from the hospital, i rang the hospital, they said there was a back log, should be with me in a couple of weeks. the end of january came..still nothing. Rang again.. this time they asked for my details and said there was no paper work for me there. Rang the doc, she said the details went through in early october but she would send them on again.) Just got my appointment today for the 10th OF JULY!! Arrrggh.. i could go mad. and its a male doc..which i'm not too happy about..but oh well! dont care at this stage. That will be 2 and a half years of painful sex! B/f has been extremely understanding through it all.. we barely have sex and only do when i feel like im being so selfish..it's not fair on him either like. Well that's it. Any other girl ever experience anything similar? I have no idea what could be wrong with me. Feel like im some sort of weirdo sometimes! Anyway just had to get all this off my chest!!

cupsoftea

That sounds so terrible. I'm not going to be much help because I've never really had problems like that.
Just want to say that your relationship might begin to suffer if you only have sex because you feel guilty. (you should only have sex when you really want to or it will begin to have very negative associations for you). Maybe you could explain things to your boyfriend and maybe decide to be sexual without penetration until things get sorted. It would take the pressure off of you and might help get your sex drive back.
Also I'm not a doctor and know nothing about these things but there are some positions which allow deep penetration (missionary, entry from behind etc) which can cause the penis to hit off of the cervix which can be painful. If your boyfriend has a long penis or you are short this may be exacerbate the problem. (although you say the pain is to the left so this could have nothing at all to do with it, so feel free to ignore me).
Sorry I can't be of any help but hope things work out for you.

Greener

Which pill are you taking? I know that when taking the depo injections or other progesterone-heavy pills it can cause vaginal dryness (that sounds so gross!) as a side effect. So that would probably explain the dryness situation.

As for the other pain you feel inside i think the previous post about certain positions was right- I know sometimes ive experienced that type of feeling depending on the position, although it never has posed any problems for me.

I could feel it alright, but it wasnt 'painful' as such. Maybe try being on top and then you can control the pressure and speed of sex? Then you will be able to decide if it is just his technique/whatever that's not right for you?

chuckles30

have you tried looking at some of the information available for vaginismus sufferers on the net? There is a support group on yahoo where you can communicate with others who suffer similarly. I had a bad experience previously and the first couple of times I tried with my current bf, it just didn't work & was extremely painful. Luckily he was very understanding and I just relaxed a bit about it and we have now managed to do it a couple of times successfully. However I had started looking into ways to resolve the problem as I thought it was me. There are lots of women out there with similar problems - you are not alone. The one piece of advice I did pick up was that you should not continue if you start to experience pain, as your body learns to associate it with pain and tenses up further. It sounds like you have an understanding bf which is very important. Just remember you are not alone and it is possible to treat it. I hope it works out for you.