Is it wrong to hate a sibling?

AnTaoiseach

I realised today I hate my sister.
I'm 24 and shes older. Its not a childish thing that she stole my stuff or anything, I live away from home and she is still living at home. We have never gotten on very well but I've come to see she is a dispicable person.
is this in some way wrong? I know everyone says things like that and doesnt mean it but I really mean it.

Fast_Mover

shouldnt that be in PI?
think i remember reading a similar situation like urs there before..

billy the squid

I wouldnt worry about it. out of the 14 of my own siblings i can honestly say i hate about five of them. it is easier for a person to **** over a family member than it is for them to **** over a stranger. so they are more likely to be more evil to one of their own.

Rb

Thats unfortunate. What has she done to make you hate her?

I don't hate my brother(my only sibling) and could never imagine doing so.

AnTaoiseach

probably,

sorry

I still hate her tho

Fast_Mover

i dont thinks its wrong..you cant help the way you feel!

biko

Try not to alienate her too much though.
Your family are the one most likely to stick by you if there's a problem later in life and you don't want to make the ones you like choose sides.

PI tbh

yeah i know what you mean somewhere along the line I grew to hate my mother
I feel guilty but then she starts another argument and i dont anymore.
and the fact my whole extended family agrees with the fact i'm not totally in fault
it depresses me a lot really
thank god for my dad!

Sam Vimes

nothing wrong with hating a brother or sister. having the same dna as them doesn't mean you have to pretend they're not horrible people

Fast_Mover

thank god you can choose who your friends are ay!!:)

spiderlegs

I kinda hate my brother...I suppose it's just a clash of personalities..just becasue you come from the same family does not mean you have to get on. However it is still important to treat her nicely..she is family after all.

simu

Nah, it's ok if they're ássholes tbh. I'm sure Hitler/Mao/Stalin/[insert random historical baddie] has siblings and would those siblings not have been justified in not exactly loving them?

CathyMoran

Maybe I am too much of a hippy but I believe that it is OK to not LIKE a sibling/close relative but at the back of it you still need to LOVE them. My brother and I have fights but I love him totally and have never not liked him. I did not like a close relative of mine for several years though I still loved them (ie persisted with the relationship, accepted their flaws (and mine)) and tried to get along (bit my tongue so many times...) - over time the dynamics of the relationship changed and I am incredibly glad that I persisted with the relationship as they bring me sunshine every day.

In terms of hating people, well I have found that hate eats you up and destroys you so I do not believe in hating people, better to live a happy life and wish them a happy life too.

LundiMardi

at times i really hate my whole family, it's not a very close family at all, as in i could go months, even up to a year without seeing my brother or nieces, i haven't seen any cousins/aunts/granny etc in a couple of years, even though i live within 30 minutes drive of everyone.. I also can't remember that last time i saw my Dad, maybe a year?

The only reason i see my mother and other brother is because i live with them, when i move i reckon i'll see them as sparcely as the rest... and it wouldn't bother me to be honest..

But to the original question, no it's not wrong, it's normal for a lot of people.

Siogfinsceal

i get annoyed at mine...a lot but I could never HATE them. They just P*ss me off sometimes thats all. mostly cos I was the oldest child and grew up with constant rules and they are allowed to do as they like !

ZiabR

AnTaoiseach wrote:

I realised today I hate my sister.
I'm 24 and shes older. Its not a childish thing that she stole my stuff or anything, I live away from home and she is still living at home. We have never gotten on very well but I've come to see she is a dispicable person.
is this in some way wrong? I know everyone says things like that and doesnt mean it but I really mean it.

TBH i dont think its anything out of the ordinary. Alot of people dont like parts of their family. The thing is, you have to deal with it. If they were friends then you could just stop all contact with that person but the fact that it is family means you have to deal with it all the time. This added pressure always makes things worse than they really are.

Tobias Greeshman

My sister's have always p***ed me off when I was growing up and would think I hated them, but that was a bit f***ing stupid really. I think as we got older we started to relate to each other more and get on better. We still insult and p*** each other off on a regular basis.

AnToiseach, if you hate your sister so much then would you really give a toss if she was struck down with a fatal illness in the morning, would your hate still be there? I'd imagine you're hate would be short lived, but then that's just my opinion.

monkeyfudge

Oh I absolutely hate my sister. And I've been avoiding her for over 2 and half years now and have absolutely no intention of ever speaking to her ever again.

I also have a brother who I haven't spoken to in about 10 years or so... and he works in a building about 50 yards away from the one I work. That's more just indifference though.

Owen

Friends are Gods* apology for Family**

*Not that I believe in imaginary friends like God or anything.
**I don't speak to 2 of my siblings, it's no biggie, they're not nice people, and don't deserve my time.

Short version : It's very normal to hate siblings.

Kinetic^

Fortunately I don't have any siblings But from an outside point of view, you don't have a choice who your siblings are, sure they're family but that doesn't mean you have to like them. I know that my mother has gone through periods of not talking with one of her sisters for a decade and has never even thought of making contact. Just because you only get one family doesn't mean you have to like them.

Angels

ok well me & my sister never really got on when we were younger & my mam always backed me up when we were fighting so i think she resents me for that. She is way closer to my other sister than she is to me. She opened up her own business recently & i helped alot with it. But now that she is up & running she doesn't seem to call me as much & treats my mam like crap from time to time aswell which makes me dislike her.

Do i hate her??

No i couldn't cause were sisters.

As for AnTaoiseach i feel sorry for you, thats a difficult thing to say & admit.

The_Minister

families force completely different people to live together and any hatred within the family tends to fester. Strong feelings are normally involved in families which can make reconciliations hard.

Pigman II

monkeyfudge wrote:

Oh I absolutely hate my sister. And I've been avoiding her for over 2 and half years now and have absolutely no intention of ever speaking to her ever again.

Heh, that sums my relationship with my sis except change the 2.5 years to about 7.)

monkeyfudge

Pigman II wrote:

Heh, that sums my relationship with my sis except change the 2.5 years to about 7.)

Yeah... well sticking a knife in my chest without provocation was the last straw for me. I would have happily cut off all ties before that, but now I have a reasonable excuse.

snickerpuss

I can't imagine hating my brother, we get on freakishly well, hes deadly. But i know someone who hates his sister cos she annoys him so much so its not uncommon.

seamus

Firespinner wrote:

families force completely different people to live together and any hatred within the family tends to fester.

Well, you see that's the problem. Families tend not to be that different. Unless there have been some major traumas (loss/change of parents, adoption, etc), or there are significant gaps between siblings, then they're not going to be all that different.

A massive amount of the way we act, and our general demeanour is instilled during our younger years, and we share many experiences/places with our siblings. Thus we tend to develop similar morals, ideals and humours. Most of us will find that we are much more like our siblings than some random person on the street.

I can certainly understand someone perhaps being indifferent to a sibling, but unless there is something serious which has caused a rift (e.g. monkeyfudge), I find it hard to see how anyone can actually *hate* a sibling - how many people who aren't family do you *hate*? I personally can't think of one.

I have three brothers and despite the mass brawls which occured for the first 12 years of my life, I can honestly say that I couldn't imagine a day without them. Mad about my bros I am.

Strong feelings are normally involved in families which can make reconciliations hard.

This is indeed true. Because of the depth of emotion and trust you have invested in your family, then major upsets or disagreements, particularly where betrayal is involved, can be extremely messy.

Tar.Aldarion

seamus wrote:

Well, you see that's the problem. Families tend not to be that different. Unless there have been some major traumas (loss/change of parents, adoption, etc), or there are significant gaps between siblings, then they're not going to be all that different.

A massive amount of the way we act, and our general demeanour is instilled during our younger years, and we share many experiences/places with our siblings. Thus we tend to develop similar morals, ideals and humours. Most of us will find that we are much more like our siblings than some random person on the street.

This may be the case in general, I don't know. Not in my family. All seven seem to be completely different. I may be a bit similar to my sister and one of my brothers is similar to another but that is it.
Our morals, ideals and ethics are completely different, as with religions.
I would think my friends are more similar to me than my family.
The only point I'm amking is that families don't always have to be the same even if there is no trauma, as it were.
I would easily hate a family member no more than any other person.
I never have though, more of a dislike sometimes. For me it is possible to both love and hate somebody at the same time.

jax frost

I don't think it's wrong.

Blood right is not divine right.

If you're related to them, they still don't have the right to piss in your cornflakes.

They treat strangers with infinitely more kindness and consideration and that's just not on man.

Hate away if it's appropriate but remember, people do change and they may grow up when they starts paying their own way and washing their own dishes.