Irish College Funnies

Suaimhneach

I dont think enough people visit this forum, but I am definitely not posting it to each individual college.

I LOLed tbh.
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A UCD, a DIT and a Trinity student were in an airplane that crashed, They're up in heaven, and God's sitting on the great white throne.

God addresses the UCD student first: "What do you believe
in?" The UCD Student replies,"Well, I believe in power to the little people. I think people should be able to make their own choices about things and that no one should ever be able to tell someone else what to do. I also believe in feeling people's pain." God thinks for a second and says "Okay, I can live with that. Come and sit at my left."

God then addresses the DIT student: "What do you believe
in?"
The DIT student replies, "Well, I believe that the
combustion engine is evil and that we need to save the world from CFCs and that if any more freon is used, the whole earth will become a greenhouse and we'll all die....Waaahhh." God thinks for a second and says: "Okay, that sounds good. Come and sit at my right."

God then addresses the Trinity student: "What do you believe in?".
And he replies: "I believe you are in my chair."

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Q. Why don't they have Christmas at DCU?
A. They can't find three wise men and a virgin.

Q. How can you tell if a Trinity student is heterosexual?
A. He can outrun his roommate!

Q. What do you get when you drive quickly through the Carlow campus?
A. An undergraduate degree.

Q. What's the first thing a BESS bird does when she wakes up in the morning?
A. Walks home.

Q. How do they separate the men from the boys at Trinity?
A. With a restraining order.

Q. What does a UCD student call a Trinity student after graduation?
A. Boss.

Q. Why do they sell so many button-fly jeans in Carlow?
A. Because the sheep can hear the zippers a mile away.

Q. Did you hear that the library at DIT Kevin Street burned down?
A. Naturally, the students were very upset....some of the books weren't coloured-in yet.

Q. Why do UCD graduates put a copy of their diploma in the window of their vehicles?
A. So they can park in handicap spaces.

Q. How do you get a IT grad off your front porch?
A. Pay him for the pizza.

Q. What do tornadoes and Arts graduates have in common?
A. They both end up in trailer parks.

Q. How many Athlone IT students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. None - Westmeath looks better in the dark.

Q. How many Trinity students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. One - he holds the bulb and the world revolves around him

Q. How many UCD students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Two - One to change the bulb and one more to explain how they did it every bit as well as any TCD student.

Q. How many NUI Maynooth students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Three - One to change it and two to figure out how to get high off the old one.

Q. What is the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead UCC student in the road?
A. There are skid marks in front of the dog.

Q. If you see a DIT student on a bike, why should you never swerve to hit him?
A. It might be your bike.

Q What do you have when 100 Arts students are buried up to their neck in sand?
A. Not enough sand.

Q. What do Science students use for birth control?
A. Their personalities.

Q. You are trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake, and a UCC student. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
A. Shoot the UCC student...twice.

Q: What do u call a LIT student in a suit?
A: The Defendant

Q:What do u call a UL graduate in a suit?
A: The LIT student's lawyer

David19

I've heard some of these before but good post. Very funny!

lego

http://www.netsoc.ucd.ie/~chrisq/jokes/collegejokes.html

FunkyChicken

Yeah because UCD netsoc made them up. They arent ancient jokes with the college names re-arranged AT ALL!