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Henny Youngman: 1906-1998 One Liners

  • 01-03-2006 11:39pm
    #1
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 93,596 Mod ✭✭✭✭


    You've heard most of them before ..
    http://www.funny2.com/henny.htm

    My wife has a black belt in shopping.

    My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.

    2 Guys in a health club, one is putting on pantyhose. "Since when do you wear pantyhose?" "Since my wife found it in the glove compartment!"

    A priest is sent to Alaska. A bishop goes up to visit one year later. The bishop asks "How do you like it up here?" The priest says "If it wasn't for my Rosary, and 2 martinis a day, I'd be lost. Bishop, would you like a martini?" "Yes." "Rosary, get the bishop a martini!"

    An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3 day pass. The Co says "Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3 day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!" So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank! The CO was so impressed, he asked "How did you do it?" "Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs. I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier "Do you want to get a 3 day pass?" So we exchanged tanks!


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