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Social Prostitution (poem)

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  • 01-03-2006 4:15pm
    #1
    acquired_taste
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2 ✭


    Vanity drapes around you -
    Your shoulders laden with disgust
    Watch me writhe in circles,
    Watch me mal-adjust
    (To their heavy-set society)
    Call my name,
    Not mine
    But answer like I didn't hear
    Naked as an introduction
    So why is flesh on flesh
    Their biggest fear?
    (And mine?
    Conservative by nature)
    Cannot watch you leave
    But I smell it when you're gone,
    Pores release a lingering scent -
    My distaste.
    Money the only reminder
    Of what I meant
    To you.


Comments

  • Options
    #2
    Blush_01
    Registered Users Posts: 5,016 ✭✭✭Blush_01


    Smashing.


  • Options
    #3
    shiv
    Closed Accounts Posts: 408 ✭✭shiv


    Very good, especially the rhythm and interesting metaphors (i.e. naked as an introduction).
    Not sure if the last three lines work as well, although I see the point you're trying to make.
    Overall very strong, I like! :)


  • Options
    #4
    Silent Grape
    Closed Accounts Posts: 574 ✭✭✭Silent Grape


    yes i like this too. the rhyming was obviously deliberate, but didnt flow as it wasnt consistent, but i like it much.


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