Blind Date

LegacyUser

Hiya, sorry if this is the wrong place to post, feel free to move elsewhere. It was a toss between here or Afterhours. I thought I'd get a more honest response here.

So my problem is, if you can call it that, after two or three weeks emailing a girl (we're both 23, in case you wanted to know) I met over the internet, I'm actually going to meet them for the first time. I suppose it's kind of a blind date, we both know what we look like as we exchanged photos. So we suggested we meet up sometime seeing as we live in the same city.

So we've arranged to go for a bite to eat on Friday night, it's not typically a "date date" as such, more a "oh you actually do exist and have a life outside of the internet...hello!" type date if thats the right word but then I got thinking, I've never actually done anything like this before so was curious, should, when I meet her give her a handshake or, a casual hug and kiss on the cheek greeting, and also, will I pay for the meal (which I probably will to be honest), but not entirely sure.

Thanks

gerTheGreat

I would recoment the kiss on the cheek. Middle of the road. As for paying for the meal, I would say that you should do what you feel is right. If you feel that you should, then do, (the only thing is, she may be offended if you don't), so maybe it would be a good idea.

Good luck,

tbh

give her a hug - she'll be as nervous as you and it'll break the ice. As for paying, see how it plays out, just bring enough cash to cover your bases.

Can I give you a bit of advice? I hope it works out for you, but in my experiance, blind dates organized over tinternet are a bit dodge - sometimes you just don't feel the "spark" and don't want to meet up again - having spoken to someone for a couple of weeks beforehand makes it waaay difficult to convince the other person that its nothing personal. I've been on both sides of the equation.

having said that, tho, there are probably loads of success stories, no reason why you shouldn't be one of them. don't expect too much and you'll be grand. Let us know how you go!!

Peace

The greeting is always a tough one to judge. Personally I like the plain and simple handshake.

Some women dive straight in for the peck on the cheek and this is where it gets complicated... is it one, two or three? If you try an exfiltrate after one and she goes for two it awkwardness. If you go for two and she was looking for one even worse! Don't get me started on the combinations of the outcome of an attempted three - thats a serious head melt.

If you cannot email her in advance and establish proper protocol then try and take control of the meeting. Smile and present the hand for an easy shake but don't appear stand off-ish. Be ready for the cheek pecking but probably don't intiate it.

I think it would be safe to assume on a first meeting a hug would not be appropriate.

R-KEANE

joey jo-jo wrote:

Hiya, sorry if this is the wrong place to post, feel free to move elsewhere. It was a toss between here or Afterhours. I thought I'd get a more honest response here.

So my problem is, if you can call it that, after two or three weeks emailing a girl (we're both 23, in case you wanted to know) I met over the internet, I'm actually going to meet them for the first time. I suppose it's kind of a blind date, we both know what we look like as we exchanged photos. So we suggested we meet up sometime seeing as we live in the same city.

So we've arranged to go for a bite to eat on Friday night, it's not typically a "date date" as such, more a "oh you actually do exist and have a life outside of the internet...hello!" type date if thats the right word but then I got thinking, I've never actually done anything like this before so was curious, should, when I meet her give her a handshake or, a casual hug and kiss on the cheek greeting, and also, will I pay for the meal (which I probably will to be honest), but not entirely sure.

Thanks

I think you're stressing out too much on this. Meet up but expect it to be like two friends meeting after not seeing each other for a while. Make sure you have a laugh even if you find there is no spark straight away. Sound slike at the very least you want to keep mailing this girl. Bare in mind that an email is in no way the same as an actual conversation in person. You dont kn ow this girl like you think you do. But you are making the right move in getting to know her. Good luck with it but dont go expecting love at first site.

tbh

yeah, if you take control and just have a laugh as you're giving her a hug, it means that she doesn't have to make the decision - people generally like that. Plus it makes you look confident and self-assured. unless shes a control freak. which might make it awkward.

in summary - just do what you'd normally do. If you give off nerves, it sets the tone for the rest of the night. You've been talking to her already, and once the evening is going, you'll be grand, so just fast-forward through all that awkward stuff by hugging the girl

muppetkiller

I'd go with the big smile put out your hand to shake and lean in for the peck on the cheek..before telling her she looks great and away you go...:D

py2006

I hate blind dates! They scare the shít out of me!

Although, your situation is technically not a blind date. Your just meeting up as friends for now so I would suggest offering your hand to shake! You might be surprised by her as she may go straight in for the hug! I wouldn't dwell on it much, see what happens when you met her!

Just don't get the whole situation consfused and stick your tongue in her hand and shake her face!

kellxor.1337

I'd go for the hug 1st, Try and be talkative and relaxed at the meal or whatever, Try and keep the conversation alive, And i would advise to pay for the meal, She'll like the fact that you were chivalrous(sp), you'll prob get a kiss on the cheek or maybe even a snog at the end of the night anyway,

As for the internet thing, I know a few people who's dont the whole meetin up thing, And it's worked for some not for others, I met my girlfriend on thinternet and now i'm with her a year just before valentines, I'm in there with her family and friends and we are pretty serious, so anything can happen,

Let us know how it goes,

py2006 wrote:

Just don't get the whole situation consfused and stick your tongue in her hand and shake her face!

Thats funny, I can imagine that happening, lolol


Kellxor

LegacyUser

Thanks for the advice.

It's a bit weird I'll admit, basically, we're meeting up as "friends" so I'm not expecting anything to happen. We're both in new cities and thought, we'd both like to make some new friends, so we'd meet up. Even if there's no spark between us at first it leaves the door open to continue being friends and meeting up every so often.

It's going to be weird at first, especially considering shes like 5ft1 and I'm 6ft1...... She'll be doing well to be going for a hello hug and kiss.

As for paying, someone said bring enough to cover the bases so thats exactly what I'll do. Of course I'll offer to pay.

Femelade

the hug and telling her she looks great.
yep. thats it exactly.
do that.

chuckles30

I've been on the blind dates having met on the internet and here's my opinion..based on experience. As others have said she is going to be every bit as nervous as you. If you both have time, try and meet somewhere before hand for a drink - say half an hour before you have the restaurant booked. The reason I say this is that it is more relaxed and you get a chance to relax a bit before you're handed the menus. I've been in the situation where you go straight to the restuarant and you're trying to be talking to the person and reading the menu at the same time - oh and you have the waiter/waitress coming over to ask 'are you ready to order?'. Whereas if you've met the person for a drink, you're probably going to be more comfortable with being quiet while you both read the menu - or at least that has been my experience for what it's worth.

Now I know I went slightly off the point there - when you meet her first, I would say smile, go for the handshake and the peck on the cheek. Regarding paying the bill - play it by ear. Paying the bill is always a nice idea & especially if you can see some possibility of a future developing. Personally I'd always offer to pay my share, but it is nice when someone says 'I'll get it'.

Try and relax about it and just be yourself. Enjoy yourself and best of luck with it.

LegacyUser

Well, I'm off on this so called blind date today. It was meant for Friday, but its been put off until today. Meeting her at half 4! Not sure to what to think, I'm not nervous or anything which is kinda weird, isn't it? It'll probably hit in about 5minutes before hand.

jubi lee

how did it go joey jo jo???? :-D

LegacyUser

Oh yeah, forgot about this. As for the date, went alright I guess. It was weird at first as we arranged to meet somewhere and were looking out, but couldn't find each other. So out with the mobile and spotted each other. I went for the simple hand shake.

So we went for a bite to eat. Although in saying that the bill came to €50, which I paid for. She was surprised so I said she could buy the drinks in the pub. We stayed for a couple of drinks then headed our seperate ways. (Sure this was around 8pm and we had met up around 4pm.) Wasn't any real connection between us, but we might catch up this weekend for a couple of drinks as she wants to introduce me to a couple of her mates.

So not sure what to make of the whole thing.

jubi lee

must have gone better than you think if she's introducing you to her mates!

LegacyUser

Joey Jo Jo wrote:

Wasn't any real connection between us

was she a bit curvey? or was it a personality thing?

matt-dublin

Its a funnny thing about dates, esp blind ones.

Introduction:
Always go for the kiss on the cheek, its always a winner, a handshake on introduction of a blind date kinda seems as if you're a shy non alpha male type, a hug is an indication of lets be friends, but if you go for the hand shake and move in for a kiss on the cheek its inbetween ground and also gives the vibe of a confident and pleasant guy. By just shaking her hand straight off you set an unconfortable vibe with her and quite possibly made it awkward for her to open up or feel completly confortable with you.

My views on paying for a date would be similar to yourself, i like to pay, i'm a generous guy and i feel good when i can turn around to someone and say "you owe me a pint!" lol
But seriously though, girls don't always like to be paid for, unless they're jobless or in UCD. 9 times out of ten on a date go for the 50/50 option, "do you want to go splits on the bill?"
But preferably wait till she asks mind you, Cos at least then she does not feel like she has to owe you anything, which again sets another comfort standard for her.
But when the bill does come and you can see the zipper being closed over her mouth...
she's in UCD!

Airblazer

well seeing that he asked her out for the meal he should pay..simple as that..

tbh

yeah thats a fair point. I would'nt have thought it was a big deal anyway, from the sounds of things. Joey - introduce you to her friends as in "I have a friend I think you should meet" or "I can't wait till my friends meet you!!" ?

LegacyUser

stp wrote:

was she a bit curvey? or was it a personality thing?

Definitely not an issue with her being a bit curvey, she had a great body. 5ft3 ish, slim size 8/10 at a guess, with great curves. Shame the face wasn't too match (thats a terrible thing to say). Personality? She was fairly sound, friend type personality, there was simple no chemistry/click/flirtiness between us.

Airblazer wrote:

well seeing that he asked her out for the meal he should pay..simple as that..

She actually asked me to go for a meal. I more than happy to sit in the pub and have a chat.

matt-dublin wrote:

girls don't always like to be paid for, unless they're jobless or in UCD.

Can't really comment on the whole UCD thing, but I know where your coming from! Typical south side wannabes

matt-dublin

ah was only joking about the UCD part but there is the south dublin element that dont like paying for things

The Corinthian

matt-dublin wrote:

ah was only joking about the UCD part but there is the south dublin element that dont like paying for things

Which part of south Dublin? Tallaght? Crumlin?

Seriously, what you’ve just suggested is one of the dumber things I’ve read here in a while. The, increasingly, antiquated notion that a man should foot the bill in a relationship has more to do with the woman’s maturity than anything else. The last time I came across it (in Ireland) was from a north side girl and, anyway, the whole north-south Dublin divide is pretty meaningless, anymore.

Most grow out of it as they realize that life is not a Jilly Cooper novel and that if they insist on being treated as second-class citizens, that’s exactly what they’ll be treated as by the type of ‘traditional’ man they’ll attract.

Of course traditions die slowly, so it is still commonplace for a man to buy dinner on the first date or buy the first drink in a pub, but this is becoming more symbolic than anything else. What is far more important is not whether a man pays but the manner he behaves himself. A woman wants to feel special on a date, not paid for.