bizarre accidents.

Terry

inspired by the "irritating small injuries" thread.

4 bottles of wine with my friend (taken from his mothers drinks cabinet) and a tractor mower.

i was 17, my friend was holidaying in wexford with his family and was hit by a van. he came home and called over to me. we raided his mothers drinks cabinet and got hammered. he decided to pay his girlfriend a visit. on the way to her house we passed a guy on a large tractor mower (the ones with the attachment blades on the back). the guy driving it was around our age and agreed to let me hop on the back. the bars for holding the extra blades lifted as he drove off and my right foot was on one of them. it squashed my big toe. i had to have the nail removed, 4 stitches on the bottom of it and two needles inserted into the toe where the nail used to be.

anyone else have any similar stories?

note: i did not sue. i'm not a litigious person. i've been in several car accidents and a few other bizarre accidents that a lot of people would cliam "compo" for. i never felt it necessary.

raheny red

EEEERRRMMM........I wouldn't say that was bizarre, I feel you are rather lucky to be alive....

Heyes

All im thinking is ouch the pain...

Capt'n Midnight

on QI Stephen had a report of a guy who was mowing his lawn when the mower cut his toe off. That is bad and you feel sympathy but..




It flew into his face and he lost an eye as a result. [why is this funny]

Rhyme

Was playing with a bow and arrow set when i was a nipper and accidentally let loose into my eye, luckily it lodged between the eye and my skull and so avoiding any lasting damage... still scratched the back of the eye. Apparently i squealed like a stuck pig and ran into my parents room with the arrow sticking out of my head

Chucky the tree

Rhyme wrote:

Was playing with a bow and arrow set when i was a nipper and accidentally let loose into my eye, luckily it lodged between the eye and my skull and so avoiding any lasting damage... still scratched the back of the eye. Apparently i squealed like a stuck pig and ran into my parents room with the arrow sticking out of my head

nasty.

Terry

i should have made myself clear in the first post. i'm looking for stories that result in minor injuries and not anything life threatening of something that leaves you permanently disfigured. just basic funny stories of silly accidents.
something like the time i was cycling up the road one night. i passed a friend on the other side of the road and he shouted at me to get my attention. as i was crossing the road, i was hit by a moped. i lay on the ground in pain for about ten minutes, with the moped driver freaking out and asking if i was ok. i was in a bit of pain, but nothing was broken or damaged. i joked about suing him and he started to really panic. i had to quickly tell him that i was just kidding and that i would be fine in a few minutes. i hobbled home with my bicycle propping me up. i was fine after a couple of days.

AngryBadger

I have a scar on my foreskin from doing myself up too quickly when I was a nipper it's a great conversation piece it really is

Shrimp

I got pushed from behind, i fell forward, and got stabbed by a blunt, rounded door handle. it went in my arm, and came out the other side. 10 stiches in total, 5 for where it went in a 5 for where it came out.... nice... my knees where like on the ground but my arm was been held up by the fact that it was stabbed by the door. not much blood, and not sore.. just kinda strange seeing a hole in your arm.

Gator

I think the life threatening injuries might be a bit more interesting:)

AngryBadger

Gator wrote:

I think the life threatening injuries might be a bit more interesting:)

HEY! Mine was life-threatening buddy! Future generations depend on that little guy :v:

KdjaCL

No such thing as an "accident" merely opportunity and stupidity meeting to good effect.

Best one i seen was a lad on a pallet being lifted up to fix a warehouse roller door (right from the 1st line we all know where this is going) The driver wasnt a very good driver and went forward to far causing a the lad up on the pallet to limbo to avoid being crushed but his sudden movement pushed the pallet off the forks and left him hanging onto the shutter door which for some reason decided to work right then. And started going down with him clawing to the wind down for dear life. Eventually like a cat clawing to the side of bath he plummeted and broke both his ankles. ****in hilarious.


kdjac

Rhyme

Gator wrote:

I think the life threatening injuries might be a bit more interesting:)

Arrow... head... death...

But yes, need more humorous stories

el tel

I once broke both wrists in a football match when trying to slide the ball into the net but the worst was having the pin of my belt pierce my manhood just as I was about get it on with an ex-girlfiend in a doggy-style quicky.

Megatron

el tel wrote:

the worst was having the pin of my belt pierce my manhood just as I was about get it on with an ex-girlfiend in a doggy-style quicky.

:eek:

Terry

that's not funny, even in a sadistic way.

connundrum

When I was 14 I was messing and got up on the bonnet of my ma's car and she drove on, I slipped down and she drove over me.. I'll spare the gross bits but I still get slagged to bits every time I go home cos me ma tried to run me over. I got my own back by sueing her :eek: (no, seriously.. heh heh heh).

Another time myself and a buddy were tryin to get into a friends back yard by climbing over his gate - which had rather large spikey thingys on the top of it. (btw we had about 30 pints between us at this point) so he climbed up and then tried to jump forward from the top but slipped and landed on a spike. He tore himself a new hole, ruined his new €130 jeans and had to drive himself to the hospital the next day cos his da said 'Ya were stupid enough to do that to yourself so now ya can fix it yourself!'

Cake Fiend

When I was about 14, I was once raking up cut grass with a garden fork. When I was finished, I surveyed my handiwork with the proud gaze of a man having done his share of hard work for the day, and threw the fork into the ground. Except I er... missed. I felt a graze on my foot and looked down to see one of the middle prongs of the fork sticking through my shoe. Thinking I had only nicked a toe, I carried on until I felt my shoe fill with blood :eek: I went inside to check out the damage and discovered a hole right through my second toe (I could look through it and see the bone etc). Quick bit of dettol and it was grand, there's not even a scar anymore.

Not a serious one, but a couple of years ago I fell so fast/hard snowboarding that my board clocked me in the back of the head! Still attached to my feet that is.

el tel

julep wrote:

that's not funny, even in a sadistic way.

Surprisingly it wasn't very sore at all. Was just a bizarre accident that interrupted a beautiful thing happening...

Nightwish

I got my finger stuck in a flask (dont ask!) when I was 8 or 9, in school. The teachers tried everything to get it off, but to no avail. In the end I had to go to casualty to get it sawn off using a plaster-cast remover.

ferdi

as a baby my aunt was carrying me and somehow got my head cought in an automatic door in a shopping centre. still have the scar.

connundrum

ferdi wrote:

somehow got my head cought

Homer's similar experience immediately springs to mind.. although I doubt yours was half as funny - as in yours was far more serious and heart wrenching of course

Roen

I got bitten by a penguin.

Terry

Sico wrote:

Quick bit of dettol and it was grand, there's not even a scar anymore.

speaking of dettol. a friend of mine had a one night stand with a girl. he reckoned that she was, well, infected in some way. he was convinced she had thrush so he hopped into the shower and poured raw dettol over his c0ck. he then suffered swelling, itching and general irritation. he eventually went to the clinic in st. james' and had it checked out. told me that the doctor was in stitches laughing when he told him about the dettol.