Off Topic-Jack Bauer vs. Chuck Norris?

Musashi

If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.

Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed

Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.

If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk.

Many believe that a ham sandwich was the cause of Mama Cass's death. Sure, that's true if ham sandwich is synonymous with Jack Bauer.

Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact.

Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.

Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.

1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.

Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.

If Jack says "I just want to talk to him/her" and that him/her is you... well amigo, you're ****ed.

Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.

When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.

Jack Bauer does not sleep. The only rest he needs is what he gets when he's knocked out or temporarily killed.

Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.

If you get 7 stars on your wanted level on Grand Theft Auto, Jack Bauer comes after you. You don't want to get 7 stars.

As a child, Jack Bauer's first words were "There's no time!"

Jack Bauer's family threw him a surprise birthday party when he was a child. Once.

When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer ****ing hates lemonade.

When you come face to face with Jack Bauer, you can do things the easy way or the hard way. The easy way is ingesting your cyanide pill.

Jack Bauer literally died for his country, and lived to tell about it.

Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better ****ing do it.

Everytime Jack Bauer yells "NOW!" at the end of a sentence, a terrorist dies.

Jack Bauer has no problem following orders, unless you tell him to do something he doesn't want to.

In kindergarten, Jack Bauer killed a terrorist for Show and Tell.

Jesus died and rose from the dead in 3 days. It took Jack Bauer less than an hour. And he's done it twice.

Guns dont kill people, Jack Bauer kills people

In Chucks defense

In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

If they cast Chuck Norris as Jack Bauer they would've had to rename the show '12' cause he would've saved the world in half the time...

Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.


Sorry about this lads but I liked it

dudara

Musashi wrote:

If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.

Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.

1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.

As a child, Jack Bauer's first words were "There's no time!"

My favourites. Seriously though, I spend the whole time watching 24 wondering if jack Bauer would take on Chuck Norris