Actual call centre conversation....

Sharp

May have been posted before.


There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a
long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired This is
a true story fro m the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from
a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the
Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the
Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now
I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden
the words went away."
Operator: "Went away?"
Caller: "They disappeared."
Operator: "Hmm So what does your screen lo ok like now?"
Caller: "Nothing."
Operator: "Nothing??"
Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
Caller: "How do I tell?"
Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the
screen?"
Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't
accept anything I type."
Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
Caller: "What's a monitor?"
Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like
a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
Caller: "I don't know."
Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find
where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
Caller: "Yes, I think so."
Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if
it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: "Yes, it is."
Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that
there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again
and find the other cable."
Caller: "Okay, here it is."
Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged
securely into the back of your computer."
Caller: "I can't reach."
Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and
lean way over??"
Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle
- it's because it's dark."
Operator: "Dark??"
Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light
I have is coming in from the window.
" Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
Caller: &nbs p; "I can't."
Operator: "No? Why not??"
Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
Operator: "A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it
licked now.
Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer
came in??"
Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
Operator: &n bsp; "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and
pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the
store you bought it from."
Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell
them??"
Operator: "Tell them you're too f*%king stupid to own a
computer!!!!!"

Sam Vimes

http://boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2054884200
http://boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=112105
http://boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=108005
http://boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=94589
http://boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=48079
http://boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=46352
http://boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=46560

Sharp wrote:

May have been posted before.

you may be right

honestly people a search doesn't take that long. those 7 were on the first page of a search for "stupid own computer"

**Timbuk2**

What was the deal with the two  

Did you by any chance pull that from HTML source code

Still very funny

Kazu

i like

arbeitsscheuer

Jesus christ, I was telling that one back when I was in 1st year... In Secondary school... In 1997...

Karoma

SebtheBum wrote:

Jesus christ, I was telling that one back when I was in 1st year... In Secondary school... In 1997...

And,even at that, you were slow..

arbeitsscheuer

Karoma wrote:

And,even at that, you were slow..

Hey, I was 12, gimme a break!:D

magick

ahh how i remember 1937........

Capt'n Midnight

Sharp wrote:

Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".

http://www.snopes.com/humor/business/wordperf.htm

Stupid computer user" stories abound, and the genre is so well stocked that it would be impossible to give more than a brief overview of the more common tales:

* Attempting to use the mouse as a footpedal. not taking the mouse out of the bubble wrap bag

* Holding a document up to the screen, thinking the monitor will somehow scan and fax it.tippex on monitor

* Attaching floppy diskettes to the side of a metal filing cabinet with magnets.using a punch so they will fit in a ring binder, or stapelling a compliment slip to them and then posting to the states

* Using the CD-ROM drive as a cupholder.do you mean the "round mirrors with holes in them" ?

* Failing to find the "any" key when instructions call for "strike any key."

* Picking up the mouse, pointing it at the screen, and clicking it as if it were a remote control.

* Photocopying a diskette when asked to make a copy.and faxing them

* Unplugging something vital to the computer's operation to free the outlet for a tea kettle or toaster, causing a company-wide server crash day after day.Novell 2.2 server , Cleaners :eek:

* inserting the printer driver disk into the font cartridge slot of the printer

memphis

SebtheBum wrote:

Jesus christ, I was telling that one back when I was in 1st year... In Secondary school... In 1997...

Yeah gotta admit that its pretty old ok.

Might be fair to say that its a classic!!!!

odarallo

I received a call the other day and it was so thick..

Me : Hi you are through to the help desk how can i help you.

Lady : Hi I would like to order a bulb for my monitor.

Me: Sorry a what?

Lady: A bulb.

Me: Sorry what do you need a bulb for?

Lady : My screen is to dark.

Me: Erm right ill send an engineer out to have a look! (Weird old ladys)

Some people can be so thick in all fairness

Karoma

odarallo wrote:

I received a call the other day and it was so thick..
Me : Hi you are through to the help desk how can i help you.
Lady : Hi I would like to order a bulb for my monitor.
Me: Sorry a what?
Lady: A bulb.
Me: Sorry what do you need a bulb for?
Lady : My screen is to dark.
Me: Erm right ill send an engineer out to have a look! (Weird old ladys)
Some people can be so thick in all fairness

A backlight perhaps?