Just to share would be nice..

scallywag

Just created a more annonymous account to be able to post freely what I want in here as its something i've wanted to do for a while. I'm not demanding opinions or anything, just a few views would be nice:)
Anyhow, this is my first effort. It is quite simplistic and not exactly amazing or anything but what the hey...


Paying for the sins of past,
boy its chased me down so fast,
I always knew I'd sowed the seeds,
I didn't think they'd come to be.

Paying fifty times my due,
I've no more life to give, i'm through,
wearily I struggle on,
with teary eye, I look upon.

I cannot see, for I do not know,
which path is the right way to go.
Asking for help is all I do,
this big brick wall, it blocks my view.

My faith it breaks, and temptation wins,
how can one fight with torturing sins?
The guilt it creeps and blinds my view,
I cry for help, but help from who?

Gross Halfwit

I actually quite liked that. The rhyming scheme is simple & works, the rhythm is easy to follow and no words are strained. If you get me?

Its like something Id write, same sentence structure more or less.

Very good.

Night_Rocker

Yeah, it's pretty good. I liked the rhyming. On any other poem I'd probably hate it, but on this one it worked. And i like how iono... vague it was, that also worked in this where it wouldn't anywhere else. You've managed to make a poem that i could actually connect with. Thank you

Night_Rocker

I changed my mind. i don't like it. it's just a load of random rhymes.