Which Grappler Are You????

GalwayorBust

Which Grappler Are You???

The Latecomer - This guy shows up to every class exactly when the grueling warm-up is over and is always fresher than everybody else come rolling time.

The Self-Proclaimed Genius – After learning a new move in class this guy will “invent” a dozen “alternative” techniques that he thinks will work better, and he wants to discuss all of them with you or the instructor. The major problem with this guy is that he can’t pull any of these moves off on anybody save for the newest guy. He gets owned by almost everybody else with a simpler but more solid game.

DVD Guy – Similar to the Genius, but he likes to memorize all the new DVD’s and discuss all of the “alternative” moves he learned with you or the instructor. He “knows” dozens of guard passes but can’t pass your guard, he “knows” all of the latest turnovers but he is always on the bottom, he is an encyclopedia of submissions, but he always gets tapped by basic moves.

The “It Won’t Work” Guy – While learning a new move, this guy likes to resist and start countering 100% while his partner goes nuts trying to practice the new technique. It feels good to show how he can “stop” the technique just taught by the instructor, (totally ignorant on how stupid he looks). He sometimes takes this opportunity to become the “Self-Proclaimed Genius” and show his own techniques that will “work better”. Often turns into Gotta Go Guy when it comes time to roll.

The Risk Taker- Similar to the Self-Proclaimed Genius, except his techniques actually work once in a while. This guy does such unexpected, often ridiculous stuff that ends up working because you weren't expecting a back handspring guard pass or head stand to armbar from halfguard, etc.

The Dojo Shark – A less sophisticated version of Preparation Guy. He simply walks around or stretches when everyone first starts rolling, then sits on the wall and watches you train for 30 minutes while saving his energy. Then, when you lie on the mat exhausted, will come up to say "wanna train?" but will never train with you when you are fresh.

The “Lets Take a Break” Guy – Similar to the Gasser, but this guy is an ex-power lifting bouncer type who throws you around for 5 minutes, but then winds up on his back and as soon as you think to yourself "payback time" he suddenly becomes too exhausted to continue and quickly says "let’s take a break man".

The Professor – A more sophisticated version of Lets Take a Break Guy. He rolls like any other guy and can have any skill-level but when you finally get his back and struggle to choke the **** outa him he goes “wait, you've got wrong mechanics... wait you gotta do it like this.. More like that.” He lets you understand that he didn't get caught and he's not about to get the **** choked out of him, in fact, he's just in the process of showing you how to do a correct choke.

Positive Reinforcement Guy – Taps you 10 times in 6 minutes and then goes "man, you're getting a lot better."

Reformed Gangster (troublemaker)- This guy covers all forms of troublemakers or gangsters. This guy watched a couple UFC's and decides to come down to the gym and "**** people up." This guy inevitably picks the weakest looking member of the gym and demands to roll with him. Unfortunately for them, the small little guys they pick are usually awesome technicians and they destroy the tough guy. These guys come in with a huge chip on their shoulder, and they get HUMBLED so quickly. I love playing along with the student when the tough guy demands to spar him. I'll say stuff like "Do you want to roll with this new guy? Are you sure? He outweighs you and looks pretty mean. After tapping them 6 ways to Sunday every rolling session, as the months go by (if they continue to train), they completely lose their hard gangster persona.... its funny to see their transition to just a “Tough Ass Calm Dude” down the line.

The Wrestler - Another version of the Mailman. Always ends up in your guard and you always have long grueling matches with him, but he never taps you out. However, your neck is always sore for the next two days because of his vice grip on your head.

Pre-Excuse Guy- This guy ALWAYS has to tell you of every problem he has and how it will affect his training before you roll with him, just in case he gets tapped. He broke up with his girl, he just got through running 5 miles or weight training, he just ate a huge meal, whatever.

Post-Excuse Guy – Less sophisticated version of Pre-Excuse Guy. He only remembers to come up with an excuse AFTER he gets submitted.


"Talker, Texas Ranger" - This guy is very similar in his thinking, to the laugher. As soon as you start rolling, this guy wants to know what you did over the weekend, what you've been up to, how you're great with the ladies, and your good at BJJ... Again this guy thinks being overly friendly prevents competition, and that you won’t realize EVERY time you are about to tap him, he starts a conversation about a technique that happened two moves back. “Could we go back to that move…what did you do there?”

The Tough-Ole-Bastid - This is the guy who started later in life but despite his age, he is tougher than 90% of the twenty-something?s. He can get kneed in the head, kicked in the groin, or have his arm near torn off, and barely grimace as he continues to grapple (often against someone a lot bigger).

The Tougher-Older-Bastider -- This is the guy who started even later in life and despite a host of injuries, does 1hr of circuit training before class, grapples all the good/big folks and gives them a hard time despite being injured, and then bikes the 20 miles home telling everyone he'll see them tomorrow for morning class.

The 'Let's Go Light Guy' – Apparently nice and reasonable BJJ’er… but with a similar strategy to lower your guard like the Pre-Fight Drama Guy. He asks, “lets go light”… and then proceeds to decapitate you and tear you limb from limb with neck cranks, head squeezes and finger cranks.

The Spaz - A squirmy bastard, usually an explosive athlete, closely related to "Let’s Go Light Guy" except he doesn’t try to fool you into thinking he’s going light before he goes spastic. This guy just goes crazy in every position available. If you’re on your knees trying to work for position he’ll often either bum rush you or try the traditional shove, the Spaz will push as hard as he can from every position, and is also prone to slamming his way out of submissions, head butting, kneeing in face, elbows in face, etc. You dominate this guy, but you feel like someone put you in a sack full of knees and elbows and started to shake it violently.

Bite the Hand That Feeds Guy – Repeatedly gets his ass handed to him by the other students, and then when someone tries to “go light” out of generosity or pity, he gets excited that he is “doing so well”, becomes a Spaz, and totally attacks his partner, feeling the “win” is so close. Result… he gets his ass handed to him again, totally unaware that someone just tried to help him.

The Sherdog Guy- This dude never trains but comes in every couple of weeks to let you know all the updated info he has on the MMA game, and how he knows so much more than you do, about what,s going on with rival teams in Brazil.

Lazy Possum - This guy has some skills but he fights really lazy and defensively most of the time and you think you have his number. But on occasion when there's an audience or some chick watching he decides to bring his A game and you're in a world of surprise, the guy suddenly becomes Marcelo Garcia on the mats.

Judo Guy - Convinced that Judo is the same as BJJ, every time the instructor shows a technique he nods his head and names it in Japanese - "yeap, that’s juji-gatame" .

No Responsibility Guy - This is the young guy who is maybe 20 yrs. old who lives at home. His mom washes his gi, makes him dinner, and all he does is go to 2 college classes a day and trains the rest. He is always saying you should come down to train Wrestling at another place or Striking at another, meanwhile you have a 9 to 5, wife and kids and a mortgage...LOL

Commando Guy: Thinks that all forms of underwear obviously restrict his game and hence chooses to go without. Nothing like a testicle rubbing on your inner thigh to freak you out and let him pass with ease. (Does help sharpen your north/south position escapes though.)

Attention Deficit Disorder Guy - You think he should be force-fed an overdose of Ritalin before every class. He's rolling with you, but at the same time he's listening to every single conversation happening on the mat, and paying some attention to every other fight. He'll give advice to the guys rolling near you AS he tries to pass your guard, he will laugh at a joke someone made on the other side of the mat space when you have him in side control, and he will also interfere with someone else's conversation when he is in your guard. One sure way to tap him is pointing to the entrance and say something like "what's Royce doing in here ?" and then take his back as he begins to look around. Oh yeah...he's the guy who is always babbling when your instructor is showing a technique too...

The Nail Guy - Looks like you just rolled with Freddy Kruger afterwards.

”Can I Try Something On You?” Guy- While rolling, this guy (who has never tapped you, and will never tap you) says something along the lines of "Hey, can I try something on you real quick? I just want to work out the mechanics on something..." He gets on your back, sinks the hooks in, and violently puts you in a choke AT THE EXACT MOMENT THE INSTRUCTOR WALKS BY, you tap, and the instructor says to the guy "Very good! You're showing much improvement!" and looks at you with a mild look of disbelief on his face.

Liam_B

Looks like you've gotta find somewhere else to train !! LOL

columok

Clive "Lazy Possum" Staunton

MaxBax

i'd like to consider myself the risk taker. there didn't seem to be a "sh1t but tries hard character"...

very funny though, i can see many of those applying in the gym

Colm_OReilly

I've essentially been everyone on that list, with a few exceptions.

Ironically, I've never heard JudoMick refer to any technique, standing or on the ground, by it's Judo Japanese name.

Colm

BTW JudoMick is the only person to ever tap Chuck Norris!

MaxBax

i've heard mick shout hadake-jime at the bjj open.

fianna.5u.com

I thought I was clear, not really seeing any of myself in any of them. THen I got to the attention deficit disporder guy. Talking and laughing about stuff when I roll is something I always do. I didnt realise it was a bad thing.

Peace

Oh yeah I've been told I.m like a bag of knees sometimes but I really don't want to be.

Darkwarrior

I've definitely been Lazy Possum although i wouldn't go so far to say i turn into Marcelo Garcia!

Although I have been spending less and less time on my back of late and more and more time in North/South and Side Control - Thanks Chris Brennan!!!

Roper

I dunno who i am there but without the skills, probably the bag of knees and elbows. I also have a nasty habit of rattling my cup off peoples teeth when I'm stepping up out of north south.

Pro. F

Great list
ye, there’s me - the Spaz
towards the end of my time training BJJ (before i changed arts) i started using this sort of high intensity (but relaxed body & techniques) game where i kept moving, standing up at every opportunity, jumping from position to position if possible, and generally rolling like a demented monkey.
i found it great and i was definitely performing the best i had ever done.
i did have to apologise like a million times though for catching people with knees and elbows and forearms and heels and ...etc and..etc.

Im2Lazy

I'm sad to say - I'm DVD Guy.

Always getting tapped by basic moves as I'm trying some "cool" move a watched before I went training instead of just working on improving my fundamentals.

I "know" dozens of guard passes but I can only pull it off one & even that is only some of the time.

Basically, I suck & need to get to training ALOT more !

Valmont

I'm the 'no responsibility guy'.

Do you have one of each in your gym? Sounds like you train with a bunch of assholes,hehe.
Funny thread

Okay that "no responsibilty guy" one is eerily accurate. I'm probably the judo guy too.