Staying friends

LegacyUser

Broke up with my g/f of 3 months valentines weekend
well actually she done the breaking up but thats neither here nor there
she is in college in another part of the country and we didnt get to see all
that much of each other
now the thing is i liked her a lot more than she liked me it seems so to be
matcho and all that ****e i agreed with her that it wasnt working which
looking back on it i dont think at all
20 mins after breaking up i get a txt sayin can we still b friends i said fine
and basically went on a 5 day bender (dont ask)
thing is she sends me more flipping txt msgs now that she did when we were
going out and this has me seriously messed in the head to be honest
i basically think i want to tell her that it would be easier if we werent friends
but we have tons of mutual friends and it would just get so messy
Then again in 2 or 3 weeks when im over this and if i have told her to get
lost i would regret it as we were friends for a long time b4 hand
not sure what kinda advice im looking for to be honest, just basically trying to
write down my thoughts

Nevyn

You need time out and space from each other.
Esp if you are going to try be friends and stay in each others loves.
It is really shítty that at the moment some one you are care about is upset and hurting but you are the one person she can't talk to about it.
You need the space to get your emotions sort and to set about resetting your bondaries and intimacy levels with this person.
Yes you still talk to your friends and tell them how your day went but it is a differnt converstation then what you have with your bf/gf.

Set a limit on not seeing her for the two weeks and minimal contact until you both recover, wounds don't heal if either of you are picking at them.
You are going to have to tell her this.
Other wise you will both end up resentful and angry and frustrated and you will never be able to be friends.

AngryBadger

Seems a bit unfair of her to be texting you so much after she's broken up with you, and also asking to be mates over the text? Shouldn't she have done that when she was breaking up with you?

As Thaedydal has siad, a cool-off period is necessary to get your head in order. Either tell her you'd like to be left alone for a while, or just be very cool in your responses to her texts.

Regarding the mutual friends thing, you say you're both in different colleges, I'm assuming that means different parts of the country? If so, then the mutual friend thing shouldn't be a huge issue.

Eminem

The best thing you can os just earse the flirty texts . And have sometime to think with your ex sending you messages , When she finished with you in the first place. I know what it feels like.

BaZmO*

I dunno. I used to think you could remain friends, but down through the years I've learned that it's easier said than done.

There's a big difference between being friends and being friendly.

Because you have a lot of mutual friends, the being friendly one is probably the best route for the time being. But being friends can lead to a lot of problems.

Think about it, friends tell each other stuff like who they're seeing etc.
Would you (or her) be able to deal with that. My guess is that at this early stage you wouldn't.

As everyone else has said, put a bit of space between you and her for a bit and after a while see how you get on.