Convincing a Man???

LegacyUser

I'm not sure if this can be answered, but here it goes.

I've been with my boyfriend for 5 months & I absolutely love him to bits & fancy him like crazy.
Even just kissing him makes me tingle all over & gives me butterflies in my stomach.
I think about having & want sex with him all the time.

when we do have sex, I take an active role in it & really really enjoy myself & I would have thought that was pretty obvious. I'm not a screamer or anything, but I'm also not lying back thinking of England if you know what I mean. I'm normally in the driving seat.
Anyhow, I'm with the 80% (I think) or women who don't come from penetrative sex (yet anyway) & this isn't an issue for me as I really enjoy the experience with out it. I also don't feel the need to fake it.

My boyfriend doesn't last a whole pile of time, so I'm obviously doing something right.
But he's made a few comments on a few occasions where he doesn't think I can be having a good time because I don't cum during sex.

Like I said, I don't think it looks like I'm not enjoying myself during sex & I've reassured him anytime he's mentioned it that I'm mad for it & really really enjoy it, but I'm not sure if I'm getting through to him.

Has anyone any ideas, or do the guys on Boards ever feel like this when the girl doesn't cum, or are there ways she can lessen his concerns (or however you want to describe it)

I easily cum through oral & manual stimulation, but he hasn't tried these yet. I think he's pretty inexperienced & therefore shy to try these things, which I'm perfectly ok with, I don't mind taking things slowly.
But when I say inexperienced, he's definitely up there with the best of them at actual penetration, so there's no way I can be looking bored or with an 'are you not finished yet' expression on my face.

I just don't know how to convince him.

Beruthiel

DefoSatisfied wrote:

I easily cum through oral & manual stimulation, but he hasn't tried these yet.

then start teaching him woman!
how have you lasted this long!? :eek:

I just don't know how to convince him.

then perhaps he needs to read this thread and educate himself

LegacyUser

TBH we haven't had sex all that many times so far.
It's difficult getting privacy.

Like I said, he seems pretty shy. He's slowly but surely working his way down there & doing a bit more exploring (Obviously a particulr part of him has been there, but not much else so far), & so until he's ready to give it a go, I don't want to force him or put pressure on him. It's supposed to be fun for both parties, right?
When he does try, I'll help him out no end, & won't be shy about telling him what does it for me, but I want to give him time.

Like I said, lack of orgasm is not an issue for me. I relieve myself A LOT, so it's not like it's all built up inside me.

I just need to get it though to him that although I haven't cum, doesn't mean I haven't really enjoyed it.

irlrobins

Get him to read this.

alfa147

Its a common misconception i think, He'll get over it in time. Make sure to play with urself in front of him, if u have to make urself cum in that way well its better than nothing and its so hot to watch. Count urself lucky as some girls don't like doing that and don't know how to cum, it gets annoying after awhile if ur with someone like that.

py2006

Jaysus, why do I go red with embarrasment when women talk about sex? :rolleyes:

Maybe the fact that you aren't cumming is hurting is confidence when it comes to sex? I could imagine I would feel a bit put out by that!

Just keep letting him know that you really enjoy it and take him by the hand (forgive the double meaning) and show him what you are looking for!

Airblazer

alfa147 wrote:

Its a common misconception i think, He'll get over it in time. Make sure to play with urself in front of him, if u have to make urself cum in that way well its better than nothing and its so hot to watch. Count urself lucky as some girls don't like doing that and don't know how to cum, it gets annoying after awhile if ur with someone like that.

christ..i'm even getting horny just reading it:o

alfa147

Airblazer wrote:

christ..i'm even getting horny just reading it:o

I got alittle turned on reading the Op's post tbh

I wish her the best of luck with it and at the end of the day just say to ur boyfriend sex ain't supposed to be serious. Be honest with each other and suggest some 69's before you even let him slide it in.

Beruthiel

Airblazer wrote:

christ..i'm even getting horny just reading it:o

please read this forums charter with regards to useless comments
B

Hugh Hefner

alfa147 wrote:

Make sure to play with urself in front of him, if u have to make urself cum in that way well its better than nothing and its so hot to watch.

I'd be careful, if he's feeling low on confidence it might not help him to watch his partner have to take matters into her own hands to get the job done. He might end up feeling even more inadequate. Just a caution.

alfa147

Hugh Hefner wrote:

I'd be careful, if he's feeling low on confidence it might not help him to watch his partner have to take matters into her own hands to get the job done. He might end up feeling even more inadequate. Just a caution.

Well tbf i don't know what guy would'nt get turned on by this. i used to do this with previous partners and any girl i was with never had a problem as i think cuming inside a girl ain't all that all the time. Maybe as a bloke i enjoy the visual stimuli of the so called 'moneyshot', I don't mean to be crude but u know what i mean. It works both ways kind of

LegacyUser

I know what both of you are trying to say, but in this case I think I'd agree more with Hugh.

He seems to already think that he's not doing enough to please me because I'm not cumming during sex (& in a way he's right, there's a lot more he can do, but I'm not bothered with that at the minute).
If I was to start playing the one stringed banjo in front of him, it would be like saying, yip, you didn't do enough for me so I'll have to do it myself.

On the other hand, if he just accepted the fact that this is normal for the majority of women & it wasn't directly because of him, & that I can enjoy penetration without orgasm then of course I think he'd be really turned on watching me please myself, so I'd have no problem doing it.

But I think we're on my 1st point right now.

The Corinthian

DefoSatisfied wrote:

I easily cum through oral & manual stimulation, but he hasn't tried these yet. I think he's pretty inexperienced & therefore shy to try these things, which I'm perfectly ok with, I don't mind taking things slowly.
But when I say inexperienced, he's definitely up there with the best of them at actual penetration, so there's no way I can be looking bored or with an 'are you not finished yet' expression on my face.

I just don't know how to convince him.

Next time you're intimate together, run your fingers gently through his hair, linking your fingers together as your hands meet.

Then direct his head to the desired area on your body by applying sixty pounds per square inch pressure on his head. He should then get the hint. Or break his neck.

alfa147

Well from what u say he's seems alittle immature about the whole thing and doesnt seem to know much about women. He'll learn in time that most women don't cum so easily.

U should insist he do more to make you cum, on the flipside ive had it before when a girl lies there like a sack of potatoes and does nothing. It really annoys me as to me thats a sign they have no interest.

lazydaisy

OP-

PM me if you want. I have some ideas but Im not going to post them here.

py2006

lazydaisy wrote:

OP-

PM me if you want. I have some ideas but Im not going to post them here.

Ah jaysus, you have to post your ideas now! You cant just say that! Leaving us all curious now!

Nevyn

The Corinthian wrote:

Next time you're intimate together, run your fingers gently through his hair, linking your fingers together as your hands meet.

Then direct his head to the desired area on your body by applying sixty pounds per square inch pressure on his head. He should then get the hint. Or break his neck.

This is tantamount to assault and suggestions of volience against a person will get you banned from this forum.

If the suggestion was made and the genders were reversed and it was a guy being told to get a grip on his girlfriends head and physically push her to get into a position to preform orally or break her neck there would be uproar.

This is unacceptable to do any person reguardless of gender.

As wonderfull as it can be to do something that brings pleasure to your partner, if it makes a person that uncomfortible then it is not right to expect or demand or pressurise them into preforming it.

The Corinthian

Should I post the appropriate smiley in future to show that the comment is tongue in cheek?

Pun intended.

simu

OP, why bother trying to prove to your boyfriend that you enjoy sex? It should be obvious to him from the the account of your sex life in your post. How far is he going to take his suspicions? Even if he did manage to make you orgasm by having penetrative sex, he might still think you were faking it if he is of such a suspicious nature. He'll just have to learn to trust you.

Nevyn

The Corinthian wrote:

Should I post the appropriate smiley in future to show that the comment is tongue in cheek?

Yes please do,
Moding PI is punishing enough as it is.

Chucky the tree

How about using food?

Whipped cream or whatever the kids now a days use, make the suggestion and see what he says. Then place the cream on the spot you want liked and, unless the chap is seriously gifted, he will lick that spot.

BeardyGit

Well, here's a little suggestion for you: Play dumb.

In my experience there are few women who, for example, know how to manually stimulate a 'new' sexual partner. The reason? We all have a different rhythm! Not a problem - If you ask us, we'll show you what works for us.

So, even if you think you're getting it right - Pretend you're a little unsure about how to do it. Ask him to show you exactly what does it for him. I'd bet he asks you the same in return. But if you appear to be an <ahem> dab hand at this, chances are he'll just want to gloss over his own inexperience in case it looks like some weakness on his part.

As for oral stuff - Do the same thing. Most of us here will know just how great it can be when done properly but I'll bet we also all have horror stories about it being done incredibly badly. And, eh , if you want to feed a stubborn horse, sometimes a nose-bag is the only way to get it going. So rather than pushing your horses head into a feeding trough, set yourself up in such a way that he's stimulated and see if a nose-bag gets his appetite up! Either that or you give him a 68 and owes you 1.

I'm a firm believer <cough> that we're all responsible for our own happiness. But I'd guess there are few who wouldn't mind a helping hand every once in a while.

Gil
[Sailing close to the wind with this post I'm sure, so Mods, edit/delete at will! ]

LegacyUser

Hi guys,

Thanks for all your replies.
Very much appreciated.

But as the Username suggests:- I'm Very Much Definitely Satisfied with what the guy does for me (So Far)

As Thaedydal said:

"As wonderfull as it can be to do something that brings pleasure to your partner, if it makes a person that uncomfortible then it is not right to expect or demand or pressurise them into preforming it.

Right now, for him to be coerced into doing other things for me would put unneccessary pressure on him, when it's not an issue for me.

When he's ready, it'll be fab & I can take more pleasure in knowing it's something he WANTS to do as opposed to something he feels he's being FORCED to do.

The point of this thread was not to ask for suggestions on how to get him to do more things for me to help me to achieve orgasm, it was only to give me suggestions on how to convince him that I'm more than happy & thoroughly enjoying what he already does for me.

Perhaps only time will.