Would you tell her?

LegacyUser

Okay so here's the deal. A few years back when I started college I met a girl who was still in secondary school and became friends with her even though she was four years younger than me. We hit it off straight away, but she was going out with someone at the time so nothing happened between us.

We never really saw each other that often but when we did, we both had a certain spark between us. And still do, however, the year after I left college, she started in the same college. Bad timing eh? I asked her out loads of times, even though she was going out with someone, but only as friends. Going to the cinema or out for a drink or something. But then things went quiet for about a year and apparently she went off the rails in college and started sleeping around and got a bit of a reputation. Not only in college but also in the local bars.

So last night, I was out and one of her ex work mates, who knows that I like her, asked if I had slept with her yet because she was so easy and started telling me stories about her and how she had cheated on her boyfriend, who shes now broken up with ages ago, with a guy that I know, and other stories about her. I had heard these sorts of stories of other people so I had a fair idea what shes like. But I couldn't care, she's a nice girl. I don't know if guys are taking advantage of her or if its the other way around, but this girl deserves better.

The thing is, this guy was talking crap about her which I couldn't believe cause I thought he was friends with her, maybe he just wants to sleep with her himself, but the thing is, okay yes I do want to sleep with her but I know I won't. It seems like she'll sleep with anyone but me, we're good friends, and she knows I'd love to go out with her and get to know her better etc. Don't get me wrong, I'm not bitter, I'd much prefer to have this girl as a friend than have no contact with her. I'll be going away soon, and while she knows what I think of her, I'd like to tell her to be wary of who she's mates with. I just think that she should know that people are talking crap about her behind her back.

Any ideas?

Roy16

I think like everyone in there life they reach a point a in there life and go a bit mad and maybe this is her's? If she has cheated on her boyfriend and is sleeping around then your asking to be hurt. I think you want to ask her out and there is no harm, you could always ask her out for a drink or that and who knows, if she trust's you enough she may even open to you, maybe she is having personal problems etc? I would say go for it and ask her out, you could be the one that puts her on the straight and narrow again (her night in shining armour) best of luck:)

LegacyUser

i was in a simmilar (but totally different) situation there a while ago. id say just have a word with this guy, let him know that talking about her like that is not on, (thats what i didnt do, and i think the guy told her that I had been talking about her behind her back,,, anyway,,) i presume she knows that you care about her, and worry about her, as a friend anyway? so let her know youre there for her as a friend, i suppose. i wouldnt say anything to her about what people are saying, just say youre worried about her.....

i dont know, my situation didnt work out the best

mountainyman

You should definitely tell her. The fact that you're going away makes it alot easier. Also if you're a friend let her know that actions have reactions.

LegacyUser

Ah sure she knows how i feel about her, I've told her loads of times before... but thats beside the point. Sure I'd love to go out with her, but I know its not on. More so now that I won't see her for quite literally..... ages. But I still think I should let her know what people, especially her friend, is saying behind her back.

dreams-dreams wrote:

i presume she knows that you care about her, and worry about her, as a friend anyway? so let her know youre there for her as a friend, i suppose. i wouldnt say anything to her about what people are saying, just say youre worried about her.....

Good advice. I'll take that on board.