Something

lilmissprincess

Sleep does not come easy
Cold flames of dreams wash over
The thump of realisation
At two in the morning.

Beauty awakes for nothing less
Than this, this whatever,
It does not come often
But you know when it does.

The words of a book
Black on white, red on green
Blank and vacant,
No more can fit in.

Pages and pages
Hour after hour.
And I wait.
For something.

Gaillimhtaibhse

lilmissprincess wrote:

Sleep does not come easy
Cold flames of dreams wash over
The thump of realisation
At two in the morning.

Really like this part. Can identify.

lilmissprincess

Thank you. Its actually my favourite bit too. So, so familiar.

ctrl-alt-delete

lilmissprincess wrote:

Pages and pages
Hour after hour.
And I wait.
For something.

Don't mean to be rude or anything but i didnt like it, its in between your other stuff, as for the bit quoted above, i feel it sums up quite well the current state of the creative writing forum (imo anyway).

Night_Rocker

Yeah it wasn't the best. It was so very dull and unmoving. It's colour is grey. So very vague. And just very dull is al i have to say

lilmissprincess

Ok, you have a right to your own opinions, it just blurted out on the screen and I pressed enter. It wasn't deliberated over. Everything isn't black and white, shades of grey are good.

Night_Rocker

No, but it should at least have some vibrancy. Is all I'm gettin at

Gaillimhtaibhse

lilmissprincess wrote:

Ok, you have a right to your own opinions, it just blurted out on the screen and I pressed enter. It wasn't deliberated over. Everything isn't black and white, shades of grey are good.

Please continue your poetry. I look forward to your next creation.

Lothaar

lilmissprincess wrote:

it just blurted out on the screen and I pressed enter. It wasn't deliberated over.

Is this really the best way to write poetry?

Night_Rocker

Not really. Not at all. I agree that if.. it's like comin from your heart or whatever then yeah i guess go for it. But if you really believe in it, then there should be some colour or like i said vibrancy. And the majority of the time, when it's blurted out, it's just bad rhymes and frankness. No depth

manonthemoon

Gaillimhtaibhse wrote:

Please continue your poetry. I look forward to your next creation.

I agree. I think you are getting better too

lilmissprincess

Thanks, that means a lot. New one on the way, gotta type it in and thats it.

Ridire_Dubh

lilmissprincess wrote:

Sleep does not come easy
Cold flames of dreams wash over
The thump of realisation
At two in the morning.

This is good. Would you consider visiting this piece again, and build something new from it? Please keep writing in any case.