GF- Others causing trouble.

#15

Hi!
Lately everytime myself and my girlfriend go out to a club together, there are tons of people who make comments towards her and try to chat her up. This really bugs me and if i reacted everytime, I would easily be invoved in five to ten fights a night.
Does this happen to anyone else in a relationship?
I don't want to be fighting all the time and my Girlfriend tells me to ignore it.

But i love her to bits and i cant stand the thought of anyone speaking to her in a sleazy, disrespectful manner.
Does this happen to anyone else and what can i do to stop driving myself insane thinking about it. Because i dont want to be fighting and ruin our nights out, but at the same time it gets to me that these people can just get away with it.

Sorry if this post is very muddled, i can clarify anything if its too confusing.

py2006

Sounds like your a lucky guy to have a hot chick by your side! Aslong as she isn't encouraging it there shouldn't be a problem!

Does she flirt with these guys?

She is with you because I guess she likes you. Take it as a compliment if you can!

WhiteWashMan

if your girlfriend is happy to ignore it then i think you should as well. take it as a compliment that your chick is a cutie, and dont get so hung up on other blokes. if your girl loves you, then thats all that matters.

if she loves it and is going to go off with someone, then you dont have a chance either way.

mickymg2003

You lucky, you have a good lookin gf, as long as shes not flirting back then you have nothing to worry about. Just Try and ignore it.

LegacyUser

i have the same problem, it really gets me uptight sometimes. Feel like i can't just enjoy the night. Real annoying....

at the end of the day, all you gotta say to yourself, is when the night is over, she's goin home with you! count youself lucky man.

and if it gets too much, try sayin something to her.

good luck

Victor

Why do you feel the need to start a fight?

#15

Victor wrote:

Why do you feel the need to start a fight?

I have never started a fight but i said sometimes i would feel like hitting someone if they tried to grab her or make a comment towards her. I love her to bits (she feels the same way about me) and there is nothing i wouldn't do to protect her.

No she never flirts back and she has never ever given me the slightest reason to doubt her. I trust her completely. My point is that how do i deal with that kind of behaviour from other people without going crazy. It drives me mad to think that people would talk to her like that and it really gets to me. Sometimes I think I should be doing more to protect her or something.
It can be hard to take.

lazydaisy

Op-

You need to calm down. This is and has been a part of her life and she has dealt with it thus far. Shes a big girl and an adult. If a time come when she is unable to fight her own battles and needs some help then you can step in, until then step off.

Or you could get her flyswatter. Am considering bringing one out with me myself.

#15

lazydaisy wrote:

Op-

You need to calm down. This is and has been a part of her life and she has dealt with it thus far. Shes a big girl and an adult. If a time come when she is unable to fight her own battles and needs some help then you can step in, until then step off.

Or you could get her flyswatter. Am considering bringing one out with me myself.

Well she can be quite shy and she feels very uncomfortable when it happens and it annoys me when anyone upsets her like that.

Victor

#15 wrote:

... if they tried to grab her .... It drives me mad to think that people would talk to her like that....

Has this actually happened? If so, perhaps you are frequenting the wrong kind of place.

#15

Victor wrote:

Has this actually happened? If so, perhaps you are frequenting the wrong kind of place.

Happened in 3 different night clubs in three different counties. Last night she was standing with her arms around me and some guy came up and made an attempt to put his arm around her. I pushed him away immediately and he seemed to think i was actually over reacting. I dont think i was out of order though??
Who lets someone do that to their girlfriend??

Slutmonkey57b

Go to different clubs. The problem is not you or your gf, it's the sleazy assholes who patrol these places. Your reaction above is totally normal, but remember it's not your gf's fault, so don't treat it as something she has to help you deal with.

Repli

#15 u weren't in QBar by any chance last night were you

SxE Punk

You want my advice? Stop going to places where you know you're gonna end up in this situation. Simple as that. If I didn't like moshing, I wouldn't go to punk gigs. Ya know?

#15

Repli wrote:

#15 u weren't in QBar by any chance last night were you

Nope i was in galway!!

#15

SxE Punk wrote:

You want my advice? Stop going to places where you know you're gonna end up in this situation. Simple as that. If I didn't like moshing, I wouldn't go to punk gigs. Ya know?

Not really.

We have no intention of stopping going out and enjoying ourselves just because of a few scumbags.

Nightclubs are for dancing and having fun. We go to nightclubs to dance and have fun. Not to get harrassed. Ya know? :rolleyes:

Ickle Magoo

#15 wrote:

I have never started a fight but i said sometimes i would feel like hitting someone if they tried to grab her or make a comment towards her. I love her to bits (she feels the same way about me) and there is nothing i wouldn't do to protect her.

No she never flirts back and she has never ever given me the slightest reason to doubt her. I trust her completely. My point is that how do i deal with that kind of behaviour from other people without going crazy. It drives me mad to think that people would talk to her like that and it really gets to me. Sometimes I think I should be doing more to protect her or something.
It can be hard to take.

What if the boot was on the other foot....if girls were puting their arms around you or making comments about your cute butt...would you like your g/f to grab them by the hair and start a fight over it? I doubt it....you'd ignore it and hope she did the same as you'd hope she would know you were always going to be going home with her.....

Of course you want to protect your g/f but if you start growling at every guy that comes within 20 paces of her or giving daggers to every drunken eejit who gives her the eye then you are not going to be much fun to go out with, are you?! I would take it easy, laugh at the guys who want her, safe in the knowledge that she is your g/f and if she asks for your help then take her elow, say "excuse me gents" with a great big grin and steer her away from trouble....

Unfortunately good looking girl + drunken men often = innapropriate behaviour & comments....something you have to get used to if you are to continue going to clubs with her.....best of luck

leeroybrown

If you have a hot girlfriend then she'll get hassle like this. Unfortunately there are lots of scumbags out there. My advice would be to avoid any physical confrontation. It may boil your blood that they get away with this but if you confront them then you could risk getting hurt or arrested. Also, scumbags will have other scumbag friends with them. That's not worth it...

smiles

Sounds like you're a lucky guy... but a word from the wise.... excessive jealousy could cause you serious problems in your relationship, it can be interpreted as a lack of trust. Trust me, it ruined a relationship for me.

jimmycrackcorm

#15 wrote:

Happened in 3 different night clubs in three different counties. Last night she was standing with her arms around me and some guy came up and made an attempt to put his arm around her. I pushed him away immediately and he seemed to think i was actually over reacting. I dont think i was out of order though??
Who lets someone do that to their girlfriend??

I'd say you were over-reacting. Sounds like he-man thought another alpha male was encroaching on his territory.

SxE Punk

#15 wrote:

Nightclubs are for dancing and having fun. We go to nightclubs to dance and have fun. Not to get harrassed. Ya know? :rolleyes:

Oh please, spare me that ****, you sound like one of the slags on Adrian Kennedy(popular Dublin based radio talk show) thats says **** like "Adrian I only go ou' teh a nioghtclub fer a dance wi' me mates!".

You and I both know that the sole, or at the least, main purpose of a night club is so that lonely insecure guys can score(by which I mean take home and **** to alleiviate the crushing tedium of their lives) cheap sluts who can't handle their over priced piss and vice versa.

And I mean this with utmost respect you and your, I'm sure very nice, girlfriend: the other guys in the club? They see your girlfriend as just another cheap slut, And unless you're gonna start wearing a sandwich board around your neck that proclaims her as yours, those same guys are gonna see you as just another lonely insecure guy lookin to score.

And thats the way it is, either put up with random dudes treating your girlfriend as a piece of meat. Or start going to different places.

smiles

#15 wrote:

Nope i was in galway!!

If you were in CPs.... well expect it!

Cuba?

smiles

SxE Punk wrote:

Oh please, spare me that ****, you sound like one of the slags on Adrian Kennedy(popular Dublin based radio talk show) thats says **** like "Adrian I only go ou' teh a nioghtclub fer a dance wi' me mates!".

You and I both know that the sole, or at the least, main purpose of a night club is so that lonely insecure guys can score(by which I mean take home and **** to alleiviate the crushing tedium of their lives) cheap sluts who can't handle their over priced piss and vice versa.

Okkkaaaayyyyyyy.......

you know, some people actually do want to have fun....

perhaps you're one of these lonely insecure guys who *can't* score and are a little upset by this fact...?

SxE Punk

I won't even dignify that ridiculous assertion with a response.

smiles

SxE Punk wrote:

I won't even dignify that ridiculous assertion with a response.

You just labelled any girl who goes to a nightclub as a "cheap sluts who can't handle their over priced piss"... sounds like you're bitter.

#15

SxE Punk wrote:

Oh please, spare me that ****, you sound like one of the slags on Adrian Kennedy(popular Dublin based radio talk show) thats says **** like "Adrian I only go ou' teh a nioghtclub fer a dance wi' me mates!".

But we do go to a nightclub to have fun, not to score other people

You and I both know that the sole, or at the least, main purpose of a night club is so that lonely insecure guys can score(by which I mean take home and **** to alleiviate the crushing tedium of their lives) cheap sluts who can't handle their over priced piss and vice versa.

And I mean this with utmost respect you and your, I'm sure very nice, girlfriend: the other guys in the club? They see your girlfriend as just another cheap slut,

No offense taken, i know what you mean. Thats why i hate other people treating her like that.

And unless you're gonna start wearing a sandwich board around your neck that proclaims her as yours, those same guys are gonna see you as just another lonely insecure guy lookin to score.

Even when im with her??

.

#15

Ickle Magoo wrote:

What if the boot was on the other foot....if girls were puting their arms around you or making comments about your cute butt...would you like your g/f to grab them by the hair and start a fight over it? I doubt it....you'd ignore it and hope she did the same as you'd hope she would know you were always going to be going home with her.....

Of course you want to protect your g/f but if you start growling at every guy that comes within 20 paces of her or giving daggers to every drunken eejit who gives her the eye then you are not going to be much fun to go out with, are you?! I would take it easy, laugh at the guys who want her, safe in the knowledge that she is your g/f and if she asks for your help then take her elow, say "excuse me gents" with a great big grin and steer her away from trouble....

Unfortunately good looking girl + drunken men often = innapropriate behaviour & comments....something you have to get used to if you are to continue going to clubs with her.....best of luck

Thats why i've made this post. I have so far managed to refrain from violence. It just makes my blood boil. Luckily my girlfriend is great, she never encourages it and she knows how i feel. But it can still get to me. Thanks for the advice anyway:D

#15

jimmycrackcorm wrote:

I'd say you were over-reacting. Sounds like he-man thought another alpha male was encroaching on his territory.

Well i'd like to see how you would react if this consistently happened to you and your partner.
There is nothing he-man about it. I love my girlfriend and do not appreciate other people taking liberties with her. It makes her uncomfortable and it upsets her. Am i meant to be ok with it?

SxE Punk

Now thats a fair assertion chief, still wrong though, I'm a punk, and I'm SxE. What would I be doing frequenting night clubs to try score chicks? Hahahaha. Not to mention the fact I didn't even make an all encompassing blanket statement, I took particular care to say "main reason". Because they are some folks like #15 here who just wanna have fun.


And #15, in response to your last question: yeah man! You've seen it yourself bro, thats what your complaining about after all right? Those guys don't give a fsck, they're just lookin to score, they just see you as the same, a dude lookin to score, they don't know shes your girlfriend, they probably just assume(thats if they even bother to notice you, one track minds and all) that you're tryin to score her ya know?

As for what I can offer as an alternative, I dunno? Sorry. A live music bar perhaps if thats your bag? Or ya know, just learn to put up with sleazy guys leering at your chick. I know how hard that is, but its one or the other really mate

smiles

SxE Punk wrote:

Now thats a fair assertion chief, still wrong though, I'm a punk, and I'm SxE. What would I be doing frequenting night clubs to try score chicks? Hahahaha. Not to mention the fact I didn't even make an all encompassing blanket statement, I took particular care to say "main reason". Because they are some folks like #15 here who just wanna have fun.

You said it was one of the main reasons for guys to go... not that some girls are like that.

I just got a bit of an itch when it comes to vast generalisations and I hoped you'd see the irony in my comment to you.

SxE Punk

I also took particular care to add "vice versa" in that statement, look for it. Its there. It'll even be in quoted versions, I didn't just add it now to back up my case.

LegacyUser

Going unregged for this one

My girlfriend gets that too, but man you see her right hook..

No but seriously, it has happened to me on a couple of occassions. She deals with it, i let her take care of them and then if she has any more hassle she can come looking for me... Only once did I have to step in to sort it out, but then again it has a lot to do with the way you handle it. I used to work as a bouncer and a quick smile and asking them to behave works wonders

More often than not, she can get them with put downs and that type of stuff. After all they are fairly drunk and easily put about. And because she is foreign she can start speaking in her native tongue and this will deter some of them.

You will get that sort of behaviour in every single club in the land where alcohol is served (TM). Keep a cool head dude, throwing some afters into it will only make it worse.

LegacyUser

O.P. you seriously need to chill.

Appreciate the anxiety and natural desire to defend the g.f.

However, your view of proportionate reaction might be a gob****e's view of provocation and incitement to violence against you. There are too many idiots out there just waiting to kick off for the least excuse and the consequences can be utterly catatrophic and usually for the innocent one.

Incidentally, if you keep this up you might the elbow from the same said g.f. if you are getting overprotective, possessive and psycholologically claustrophobic !

Stay cool and find different venues that suit better.

illicit007

Listen to the bouncer guy.

Doodee

As a girl I'm not being sexest but I don't care if Angelina Jolie herself walked into a club, nobody would make that much of a play unless she was putting it out there. Look girls can flirt without realising it. but if your that uncomfortable with it then talk to her, I think that's maybe where your anger is coming from.

Victor

Doodee wrote:

As a girl

Something we should know?

#15

smiles wrote:

If you were in CPs.... well expect it!

Cuba?

Nah i was in the Radisson. Hate the place!!

Guys thanks for all the advice, much appreciated.

ravenhead

I hope you don't mind me asking but what way does your GF dress when you go out together??

Nevyn

What she is wearing should not make any difference tbh.
IF she is good looking enough or charistmatic enough to get approached she should just treat them cooly and say she is with some one and they would get the message.

ravenhead

Thaedydal wrote:

What she is wearing should not make any difference tbh.
IF she is good looking enough or charistmatic enough to get approached she should just treat them cooly and say she is with some one and they would get the message.

I really think it does to be honest, the way a girl dresses going out lets people know how she'll let herself be threated. I know this from personal experince, I was where this girl is now about 5 years ago & it got so annoying that I even hated going out at the weekends. Thank God for a male friend of mine that actually said it to me, the way that i was dressing gave off the impression that I would allow fellas to grab me & try to feel me up etc.. after the talk I toned it down a bit going out & thankfully it worked. I'm not saying that I don't still get hasseled when I'm out but it's not as bad as before, I'm not attracting the same kind of sleazy guys around me

Nevyn

Tbh you should be able to wear as little as you want and any one pawing you up with out your permission can be done for assult or you can threathen to break thier fingers.
But lifes not like that.
Ah the joys of equality.

Doodee

Victor wrote:

Something we should know?

No, nothing!

Soz, that was me GF. Felt the need to reply, but is to lazy to register.

ravenhead

Thaedydal wrote:

Tbh you should be able to wear as little as you want and any one pawing you up with out your permission can be done for assult or you can threathen to break thier fingers.
But lifes not like that.
Ah the joys of equality.

Tell me about it!! In a perfect world us gals wouldn't have these sleazy f@ckers annoying us! Whatever happened to just chatting a girl????

#15

ravenhead wrote:

I hope you don't mind me asking but what way does your GF dress when you go out together??

Jacket, top and jeans usually. Sometimes a dress on special occasions, eg xmas or new year, etc.

She doesn't own a mini skirt. Her shortest skirt covers her knees. She dresses fairly conservatively although she has a tremendous figure. She would be quite shy about revealing too much skin on a night out. Honestly!!

She is (truthfully) exceptionally good looking.

I think it may have to be one of those things that we'l just have to put up with, going from the advice on these boards.

Fanny Cradock

ravenhead wrote:

Whatever happened to just chatting a girl????

it died in a car crash along with chivalry. respect for others was seriously injured :eek:

LegacyUser

Fair enough if your uncomfortable with it but take it as an ego boost that such a hot girl is with you,be proud of her and know its you she wants to be with.