f-buddies.

LegacyUser

Recently got involved with one. Don't worry this isn't another 'should i or shouldn't i?' thread and I don't want this to turn into a discussion on the rights-wrongs of the system etc. "I should and I have". End of.

Anyway, why I'm here is I'm just wondering about a couple of issues that I'd like peoples opinions on.

1. Is flirting with the f-buddy still on? We both know the position now so still sending off the signs seems a bit 'too' boyfriendy/girlfriendy.

2. PDA's. Right or wrong?

3. How often would be acceptable to meet up? I was thinking like once a week max as I don't want things to get 'too serious'.

Basically I like this person a lot (it really is buddies rather than just sex) but I don't want to get 'too serious' or give signs that I want to 'move to the next level'.

We've both already agreed this is going to end badly and that we aren't going to get any more serious than this but I'm smart enough to know that complications probably will arise (esp. if I make the wrong moves).

Opinions welcomed.

WhiteWashMan

what are the issue with being friends, pda's, etc.

why dont you want to get too close, or too serious?

you seemed determined to make mountains out of molehills.
as far as i was concerned fbuddies were people that you met up with while you were out and if you didnt score, thenyoud shag each other.

i didnt realised you actually set times and dates for sex. seems a bit pointless to me. and whats wrong with flirting anyway?

perhaps you just want someone who will lie there while you hump away at a pre designated time?

azezil

lol, yeah pretty much what wwman said!

Fúck buddies meet up and fúck, you don't have a schedule, you meet when you're horny and why would you be making pda's, are you fúcking in public or something? :rolleyes:

Ickle Magoo

Sound like you are puting much more thought & worry into this than someone who was just a f-buddy would warrant?! Are ye sure that is all YOU want out of it?

I'd say flirt away & just f when ever you feel like it - that's the whole point of a f-buddy!

LegacyUser

hmmm probably phrased that badly with the 'f-b' term then if that's the way you interpret it. probably sounded more clinical that it really is too.

for clarification there's more to it than 'just using each other as a plan-b and just checking our diaries and agreeing on a date to meet up for sex'. we meet up for drinks and movies and whatever else friends do but then theres pda's and the rest too so its starting to make it feel more bf/gf than it probably should.

probably not explaining this well but as an example do you flirt with your friends and french kiss your 'friends' over drinks in a pub at 6 in the evening? this is the grey area i'm refering to.

Victor

fbuddy wrote:

2. PDA's. Right or wrong?

I'm guessing that doesn't mean Personal Digital Assistant?

Ickle Magoo

fbuddy wrote:

do you flirt with your friends and french kiss your 'friends' over drinks in a pub at 6 in the evening? this is the grey area i'm refering to.

Erm, nope.....if they put any part of their body in my mouth then I think we may have moved out of the friendship realm....when it becomes a regular thing then it has usually moved into the relationship realm.....imo

WhiteWashMan

fbuddy wrote:

hmmm probably phrased that badly with the 'f-b' term then if that's the way you interpret it. probably sounded more clinical that it really is too.

for clarification there's more to it than 'just using each other as a plan-b and just checking our diaries and agreeing on a date to meet up for sex'. we meet up for drinks and movies and whatever else friends do but then theres pda's and the rest too so its starting to make it feel more bf/gf than it probably should.

probably not explaining this well but as an example do you flirt with your friends and french kiss your 'friends' over drinks in a pub at 6 in the evening? this is the grey area i'm refering to.

so youre just afriad of being girlfriend and boyfriend?

as for french kissing in a pub at 6pm, jesus, get a room. i have no problem with hugs, affection kisses or holding hands, but if youre getting intot he realms of sexual contact, bugger off.

youre not f-buddies. youre friends who have sex. and you dont know what you want.

if you dont want to be in a relationship, then dont be, but its already too late, youre already thinking about it, and you already treat her like a girlfriend.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies so far.

To clarify I know exactly what I want out of this and I have have not been the one instigating these PDA's (tho I enjoy them and haven't resisted them either so I'm guilty in that regard 'if indeed there is anything to be guilty about'.)

I'm basically interested to know where the line is drawn in this arrangement so that the other person doesn't get the wrong idea (presuming in the off chance they haven't already been giving ME the wrong idea from the start with their own intentions?).

Like WWM says it's best described as 'friends who have sex' and I whilst I have feelings for this person I don't want to be any more involved than this. The other person doesn't want anything more than this either.

If all this public behavior is improper and basically unwritten language for 'i want more' (which I'm starting to feel that it is) then I'll have to put a stop to it.

Yep, sounds like a relationship to me. Why are you so afraid of being in a relationship? I mean, you're practically in one anyway.

lazydaisy

What you describe does not reflect the standard terms & conditions that make up the **** buddy relationship.

I suspect its expectations that are now forming.

Nothing like sex to **** up a relationship imo.

Dustaz

I was in exactly that position with a fùckbuddy and it went thru the stage your in now. Ended up in a relationship with her for 3 years. These things tend to work themselves out. They either blossom or they dont.