Things To Say to Children That Will Shut Them Up

Atrocity

·[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]Mummy takes pills because she wanted a girl
·[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]We aren’t celebrating Christmas this year because Santa caught you masturbating
·[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]Daddy stays at home and watches TV because he wishes you could play sports
·[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]Your rabbit died because it didn’t love you and just wanted to leave.
·[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]The brightest star in the sky is your grandpa. He’s burning in pain for eternity.
·[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]Mummy left because of a word you said. We don’t know what that word is- it could be any word at all – but if you say it again, daddy will leave too.
·[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]The girl next door and her whole family got eaten by wolves because she wouldn’t iron daddy’s shirts.
·[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]If you don’t comb your hair, it will turn into spiders.
·[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]Your friend Billy has better toys because he has cancer.
·[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]The poo you flush down the toilet is what they use to make the houses for poor people.
·[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]If it rains too hard, you drown.
·[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]Jesus wants you to retrieve daddy’s mobile from the train tracks.
·[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]The letters the postman brings contain stories about what a bad child you are.

scuba steve

ha ha, funny

GLaDOS

"You're adopted and I don't like you"

Karoma

·Mummy left because of a word you said. We don’t know what that word is- it could be any word at all – but if you say it again, daddy will leave too.