still thinking about this crap

LegacyUser

Apologies for length of this. I fed up being down about something so stupid.

Ok, suppose I should start at the beginning. Was with a girl for 4 years,she broke it off nearly a year ago. We lived in one anothers pockets, no other real friends on both sides, I had one good mate I went to school with but she didn’t really have many good mates. We were in “love” as they say. Im no looker by no means but the girl I was with would turn a few heads. I thought she had everything, so did my good mate and my family. Lookin back now it was really full on and a little naïve. But I was mad for her as she was me. Anyway to cut a long story short she finished college, moved away and made new friends in her new job. Only saw her weekends, and after a few months she ended it. It ended badly, we now don’t speak (both did and said stupid things) and haven’t done in 8 or 9 months. Havent laid eyes on her either in that time.

This is the really sad and pathetic bit, Im 24 years old still in college, and only have a few classmates which Id consider mates. They all have girlfriends, and are happy out. I don’t winge and moan, Im all brave face and happy as larry to friends,lads in class and family. I try not to think of my ex, but I hate admitting this – I still love her. At first I thought Id get over it, then I thought I actually did after a month or two; then Christmas came along and I thought I was just feelin sorry for myself and lonely but its her and all we did together I think off. Its gone beyond talking to her and tbh I don’t really want to and she def doesn’t want that. I want to leave her be and let her live her life. If she’s happy then Im happy for her, whatever she’s doin now.

I know I have to get over all this. I know I must pick myself and forget this year and move on. I cant really join a club or pick up a new hobbie cas this thesis and college Im writing takes up all my time. The only plan I can half come up with is get this degree, get a decent job, keep in touch with the few good mates I have left, hopefully get some confidence back and meet some decent girl.

I know valentines day is coming up, that kind of thing doesn’t bother me, and I know its pathetic to be still hung up on someone that told me to fcuk off for no real reason nearly a year ago, but I can only remember the good times –which was 4 years solid before the breakup happened.

Ive tried bein the man about it and just putting it in the back of head,and tried the opposite – talking shyyte to nearly anyone that listened. But in the end still the same story. Anyone been in my shoes or worse? Anyone any other ideas to get it out of my head? thanks

LegacyUser

Focus on your thesis, get the job, it's her loss, there are more fish in the sea.

JustCoz

You're obviously still gonna be a bit hung up on this girl as you were together for so long. She probably still thinks about you too, but it's clearly not meant to be so any time you spend thinking about her and what might have been is time wasted that you could be using to meet another girl.

If you focus on your degree and get that sorted you can go anywhere and do anything. Just sort out your priorities and it's always great to have some ambition to give you direction.

WhiteWashMan

at this stage i would think its more a comfort thing for you.
you remember her, and the good times, and the fact that you broke up while still being madly in love with her, so now when you are a depressed, seeing other people with girls etc, it reminds you of what you miss with this girl.

i think you need to get it out of your head that she is the be all and end all of your love. other people will love you, and you will love them. you will grow older, you will become more mature, and you will eventually forget her. sometimes, whole years go by now between me thinking of my first love. but it does take so long to disappear. it took me about 5 years, but then again, i was a bit sad and pathetic back then. at least, more so than i am now

anyway, dont worry too much. youre not abnormal or anything. you just need to let it go slowly, in your own time, and think about meeting other people and learn to start sharing your afection with them.

440Hz

If you are a regular, PM me. Can totally identify with what you are saying, but would prefer not to get into this on thread.
If you dont feel like doing that.. then I hope things turn around for you soon, its really tough I know. Best of luck, and chin up for the 14th, yuck day.

Wibbs

^Good advice from WWM.

LegacyUser

Possibly is the comfort I miss. I still feel kinda bare, I suppose week for want of a better word. Like my left arm was cut off. Its been a good while now and its pissing me off to say the least that its still on my mind.I dont want to people to feel sorry for myself, and this is gonna sound a little stupid but I wanna feel whole again. stupid I know. I can never hold it again her the fact she fell out of love for me, never but it all happened so sudden and cruely. yeah shyyt happens I know. All I can do is concentrate on studies and thesis, stay good mates with the lads and try to have a laugh when I can. Any nice women on boards? just kidding! anyhow the rant is over,thank to all that replied.

WhiteWashMan

i think if you think about it, you will realise what you miss are the small things. hugs, dinner, watching tv curled up, whatever.
now, substitute this chick with any other chick you fancy.

youre just missing the companionship. youre missing the little things in life that are nice.
youre missing having a girlfriend, but what youre doing is not thinking about the things, but the person you were with when you discovered these nice things.

dont worry, youre still not abnormal!

just tootle along, you will meet someone. in the mean time, stop thinking about how much you miss her, get on with it, and all will be fine.

LegacyUser

yeah i miss all those things. I miss what we built - the trust,love,friendship etc also. I dont know any other "chicks" tbh. The phonebook on my phone is fairly bare. Wanted to head out tonight but none of the few mates I have are going out. So its a cup a cofee and ryan turbidy for me tonight. fantastic!

LegacyUser

was talking to a mate about this the other night..he reckons I havta make an effort, take chances and go out and meet new people. He reckons I still "feel" for my ex because I havent met anyone else to "feel" for - maybe so.

Its so easier for women, if they are any way good looking at all (like my ex was) to pick up someone else and start again. That kinda kills me but gotta get over that! Id like nothin better than to meet a goodlooking down to earth girl but dont we all, id leave my number on this here Im that desperate!!!

Just Joking but I hope soon I get to met someone, dont like this single life that much