bullied at school

LegacyUser

what do you do if your getting bullied at school as i told my principal, class teacher and parents but none of them believe me as the girl who is bullying me is so nice and sweet to them..

i cant stand up to her as she is twice my size.. she verbally and physically abuses me, but not enough to leave marks for evidence!

any advice is greatly appreciated!
thanks much and please reply!
~XxXx~

leeroybrown

Have you told your parents about this? Even if you don't feel particularly comfortable doing so a school will place a lot more weight on an allegation coming from the parents too.

Also, I would suggest keeping a journal detailing the occasions that this bullying takes place.

[Jackass]

please describe exactly how she is bullying you and where and when...that way we can give you much better advice...but on what you've said, I would try to get a witness (arrangend or someone who happend to be around)

spurious

Your school should have an anti-bullying policy as part of their school development plan.

I can't believe your parents did not believe you, nor indeed the professionals you approached. If you have evidence (marks), show them, though in my school your word would be enough for an investigation.

Your Principal has a legal duty under Health and safety legislation to make school a safe place for you.

rainbow kirby

As was suggested before, keep a journal. Also, try and have a friend with you in school as much as possible. If you get any visible marks, get a picture if you've got a camera phone.
If the worst comes to the worst... think about leaving that school. There's no point in being there if the principal isn't going to make the school a safe place for everyone. When I was in secondary school, I was bullied for my first 2 years. After bringing the teachers and year head in on about 10 separate occasions, my parents finally found me a new school for 3rd year, and it was possibly the best thing they ever did.

jimmycrackcorm

use a recorder - phone with video recording or one of those mp3 players that records sound in. Nothing like hard evidence to sway an opinion.

Gaillimhtaibhse

Cite the Anti-B policy and make a formal complaint in writing, with copies to several school officials. The journal idea suggested by others is good. When you write this official letter of complaint, ideally signed by your parents, include reference to specific incidents from your journal entries. Time, place, witnesses, action, outcome. Other than this, do you have a big and strong boyfriend who can run defense?

gerTheGreat

I would recomend that you put all of your complaints in writing. Tell your parents about it again. Insist that they belive you and hand in your written complaint to the principle. If you go to a school with close tyes to the local church then go to the parish priest too. Don't stop complaining until you are taken seriously. It's compleetly unacceptable behaviour.

MicraBoy

You sue apparently...

A 10-year-old boy, who was bullied and harassed by fellow pupils, is to be paid €10,000 damages by his former school.

Judge Joseph Matthews heard that Cillin O Donnchadha had been stoned, kicked, spat at and jeered in the school yard at Scoil Chearbhaill Ui Dhalaigh during the school years 2001-2003.

Grainne Lee, counsel for Cillin, who lives at Esker Lawns, Lucan, Co Dublin, said his parents had taken him from the school after they had discovered that the bullying had been taking place when he was six and seven years old.

Ms Lee said the bullying and harassment had become so bad that Cillin's parents had withdrawn him from Scoil Ui Dhalaigh, Celbridge Road, Leixlip, Co Kildare, and had sued the school for having failed to do anything about it.

"They felt the school wasn't doing enough to protect their son after complaints had been made to the school," she told the Circuit Civil court. Ms Lee said Cillin's parents had taken the view he had suffered dreadfully and they did not want to put him through the further trauma of having to give evidence of his experiences before a court.

She said the school had made a settlement offer of €10,000 to include costs and she was recommending the court approve the settlement.

In Cillin's claim, taken on his behalf by his father, Ronan, it was alleged he had been bullied and harassed during the school year 2001-2002 when he had been struck and jumped on by two other students.

In 2002-2003 he had been verbally abused, kicked and punched, spat at and jeered, and had stones thrown at him.

The claim had been brought against the school on the basis that Cillin had been humiliated, distressed, assaulted and traumatised by what had taken place.

Judge Matthews, approving the settlement, said it was clear Cillin had been regularly bullied over a period of time by other children of his own age.

Peer groups could be quite hurtful in their attitude and demeanour to other fellow children.

He said it had been a matter of children ganging up on an innocent boy. It was a simple truth that children could be cruel to each other.

The circumstances of the bullying had not been beyond the control of the school and it was unfortunate it had taken so long to come to the attention of the school. Judge Matthews directed that €1,000 of the settlement be paid out immediately to Cillin's parents so they could give him a treat he could immediately enjoy.

Irish Independent

Dragan

Okay, so i spent 6 years in primary school getting the hell beat out of me.

How much do it get????
Back to the point of the post however, some good advice has been given here,but remember, bullies are called that for a reason. There scumbags who live on fear, stand up for yourself and see how that goes???

Canis Lupus

What age is the OP and why would your parents not believe you and furthermore how would your parents know the behaviour of a girl in your school?

bounty_hunter

It might be a lot easier for people to advise if you gave a few examples of the kind of things this girl is doing to you. That way people can guage what kind of approach might be your best option.

LegacyUser

I went to a pretty small school (Primary) myself and i honestly didn't even see any bullying till secondary. I think our situation was that everyone knew eachother and in secondary it was similiar where everyone coming from primary knew eachother. I got a bit of the olde bullying in my first job however but it didn't last.

Anyways advice.

Imo don't listen to the "get evidence etc etc" and just forget about telling the parents/teachers etc. They're obviously not going to do anything and if they do do anything it can probably make things harder for you. Maybe i'm wrong and they could fix the situation but at the end of the day it won't make you feel better.

Next time she does something to you, do it back. It doesn't matter that your smaller and can't stand up to her, thats not the point.

It doesn't matter if you get beat up, stick up to her no matter what she does and give as much as you can back, if she smacks you, you smack her twice etc. And when shes "finished" bullying you for the day or whatever, YOU start it again. Again it doesn't matter if you come out the worst end of it, do it anyways and keep doing it.

I guarantee you that if you do the above she'll stop bullying you completely.

Bullies bully people because they think its going to be easy, make it as hard as you possibly can and you won't look so tempting a target anymore. Make her suffer for it and she'll avoid you.

e.g > Got the crap kicked out of me on a building site by two lads before lunch one day. Got up and went after them and kept doing it. I of course ended up in fairly bad shape but they got enough of the odd punch, kick and headbutt to know i wasn't going to lie down next time and it didn't happen again.

Sleepy

I'll second what UnnamedPlayer1 is saying. When I moved across the country as a kid, my accent got me a lot of grief in my new school. When the year's "hard man" started picking on me I put up with it at first but eventually flew at him. I split his lip whilst he kicked seven shades out of me if I'm entirely honest. Thing was, next time he considered bullying me, he remembered that the split lip hurt a bit and moved on to an 'easier' target.

The reason people always say that Bullies are cowards is because it's true: they're brave until someone resists them. I know advocating violence isn't allowed on here but if you're being attacked, defend yourself and don't pussy-foot around it. Your parents, teachers and principal have failed you, don't fail yourself. I guarantee if you stick up for yourself properly once, you won't have to do it again.

dancin

Sorry to hear that you are being bullied in school. My wife is a teacher and has very strong view's on this. It's her experience that many (not most) irish teachers just view bullying as being part of growing up. Needless to say this drives her mad...

But regarding your specific problem. The above posters who mention the school anti bullying policy are spot on. They are obliged to have an Anti-Bullying policy, and must follow it when they are notified. When you let the school know that you know about the policy, and inform them officially you should see some action.

I've seen this happen where a friend's young boy (8) was being bullied in school (being beaten, on one occasion badly). The bully was a non national (that is of no consequence, a bully is a bully) and the teacher when approached just brushed off the mother's concerns. Saying the bully was a nice kid, polite and would need some latitude to settle in.

When my wife found out she advised about the anti bullying policy, and that mother approach the school principal, to ask about the schools policy and to make a formal complaint.

Well, that really lit a fire under all concerned, and the problem was sorted out really fast, with no recurrance.

I wish you luck with this.

bp

in secondary school (1st year - i knew no one because most people came from the same school i came from a small school and knew nobody) someone tried to bully me......i hit her once, word got around the school and no one tried to bully me again. I'm not saying that hitting someone is the answer - try telling her to f*ck off, record it on your phone....even call it through to your own voice mail/ parents phone so that there is a record of it........if all else fails you could try doing to her what she does to you but be careful......she could turn the tables on you and tell the teachers that you were bullying her which could effect school etc

bullies are wimps who have to feel big by picking on people.........just because you are small doesnt mean that you aren't strong...use it....as she is big it will be harder for her to move where you can get smaller and move faster

good luck........and note not only when you are bullied and what happens but also each time you told a teacher and their reaction just so that you can say well i told [insert name] on the [insert date] and they said [insert comment]

jimmycrackcorm

As per other comments, I don't want this to sound like condoning a violent response but it is well documented that bullying is the rule of the coward. Bullies only do what is easy for them to do. People who stand up to bullies don't get bullied again.

However if standing up to a bully, it must be a very decisive action. Simply pushing back or retailiating verbally in the same manner only incites a struggle for domination of the situation.

If you are brave enough to stand up to the situation then don't do it half-heartedly regardless of whether or not it is simply to follow the school anti-bullying process as commented upon or to deal with the situation directly.

The bigger the bully the harder they fall.

LegacyUser

When I was quite young we moved to England. I was around 8 or 9, I was a shy kid, who stood out an accent and found it hard to settle. The most popular guy in the year took a disliking to me for not being english and bullied me relentlessly for 2 years, physically and verbally. Because of this most of the other english kids wouldn't associate with me. My mother complained to the school for two years and nothing was ever done about it. My parents probably had to buy a new school uniform once a month because he destroyed it on me so often.

One day while in class, the guy was sitting in front of me. Out of the blue I punched him in the face, and kicked him to the floor, and quite literally beat the living **** out of him for two minutes. I broke his nose and a couple of fingers. It was the last thing he expected, he took me for granted and never expected me to fight back.

Those two years of bullying really did a lot of emotional damage to me as a young boy.

Lex Luthor

JIMMYCRACKCORM speaks the truth.
You're gonna have to stand up to them at some stage or it will haunt you for the rest of your life...as an adult you will think back and wonder why you didn't. I hate to be blunt and I realise this person is twice your size, but you can't let them do this to you. Everyone has a weak spot. They don't expect you to retaliate so when you do and you do it in such a wild way, they take notice.

I was bullied for years in school and I took up Tae Kwon Do...one day after about 2yrs training, of which they didn't know I was doing TWD, one of them picked on me and opened up a whole big can of WHUPPAH!!!!!!I am a very placid person but that day something just snapped. A bloody nose and broken ego for him was enough to send him home with his tail between his legs.

Never saw that guy again come near me.

Nothing like a bit of Rage Against The Machine to get the adrenaline pumping before a good scrap.

Freshmilk

I have never been bullied nor have I bullied but from my own experience from being in school i use to stand up to bullies on behalf of the people being bullied.To be honest I think a lot of this information being given is total crap the only way to stand up to them is do just that, this might sound wrong and i know there going to be a definite backlash but you will have to beat her up by hook or by crook. If it takes a stick or bar than do that and it will prob never happen again.Or I also like the other bit were you mentally try to beat them up i.e is she fat or anything or ugly or have any insecurities pick on them. I know it sounds horrible but yea got to do what you got to do.

dudara

In 6th class I experienced a bit of bullying, and to be honest, it still hurts at times, even though it's been ages. I told my parents, and they reported it to the headmaster, but he just saw it as kids playing and it continued. It didn't stop until I started secondary. These days, I wouldn't stand for it with anyone, but being an adult is very different from being a child/teenager.

Don't take it. Record every incident in a journal, and on your mobile if possible. Evidence will make it hard for this girl to hide beneath her nice veneer. Don't be afraid to stand up to her, hopefully without getting physical.

dundalk cailin

i was bullied, but at a much younger age, round 3rd or 4th class, it was tough, it fizzled out after i had told my parents and teachers a number of times, the girl got tired of picking on me i guess

Eminem

People who bully people have been bulied themselves and they just take it out on other people and its not right . Your parents should believe you that your getting a hard time in school also sit down with your parents and tell them how your feeling as such .