this really fickles me

tails2

theres this girl who every now and then says she is very upset or sad or angry or in a type of mood or is feeling a certain emotion because something has happened or she did something or etc....

i really like helping people if they need it... but what gets on my nerves is when people wont tell you what the thing is that is making them feel so bad.

i mean how do they expect you to help if you dont know the problem, its like trying to solve an mathematical equation without the equation...

anyone know how to deal with this situationo r know anyone who is similar

Auburn

Sounds like a classic attention seeking tbh.

Blue Peter

Ignore them and do something more interesting instead. As pointed out, Attention Seeking.

WexCan

Know a couple of people like that, waste of time tbh.

Sam Vimes

tails2 wrote:

theres this girl who every now and then says she is very upset or sad or angry or in a type of mood or is feeling a certain emotion because something has happened or she did something or etc....

i really like helping people if they need it... but what gets on my nerves is when people wont tell you what the thing is that is making them feel so bad.

i mean how do they expect you to help if you dont know the problem, its like trying to solve an mathematical equation without the equation...

anyone know how to deal with this situationo r know anyone who is similar

my girlfriend can get like that sometimes. its come to the point where i've said "whats the matter? and i'll give you a thousand euro if you don't say i don't know".

i usually just stay on the phone or whatever for a while until she snaps out of it. she always does eventually

toffeapple

try and get into her knickers..thats what she wants

WexCan

toffeapple wrote:

try and get into her knickers..thats what she wants

The unwritten rules are true.

Ickle Magoo

Hey tails2,

My husband used to do this a lot when we first met - it drove me bonkers :mad:.....I knew something was not right with him but when I asked outright he just sighed & said "Nuthin!" in a kind of Kevin & Perry huffy way, making it obvious that there was indeed something wrong and making it equally clear he wants me to use a crystal ball, beg him to tell me what it is or he wants me to tell him how wonderful he is and why he shouldn't feel down :rolleyes: .....I work on the principle that misery loves company and I don't want to be that company!

If you want to deal with it as I did, then tell your friend that unless they tell you what is up there is nothing more you can do & so they should either snap out of it while they are with you or you will see them when they feel happier.....give it 10mins or so and if they still haven't coughed up with the problem or side-lined it until away from your company, then tell them they obviously want to be on their own & to give you a call when they feel cheerier or want a chat....;)

I found refusing to be witness to my husband revelling in whatever self-pity he was feeling and refusing just to just sit there & ego-stroke, forced him to make the decision to tell me the issue or to be miserable on his own....and as any good actor will tell you, they need an audience! Eventually they learn the drill and when you say speak to me or I'll see you later, they tell you what is up rather than playing games.....Best of luck

Tar.Aldarion

The infamous words 'I'm fine' come out of my mouth a lot too, maybe it's just that she is depressed and it's too private to tell you why?
If you can't get it out of her just leave it be.

tails2

Ickle Magoo wrote:

Hey tails2,

My husband used to do this a lot when we first met - it drove me bonkers :mad:.....I knew something was not right with him but when I asked outright he just sighed & said "Nuthin!" in a kind of Kevin & Perry huffy way, making it obvious that there was indeed something wrong and making it equally clear he wants me to use a crystal ball, beg him to tell me what it is or he wants me to tell him how wonderful he is and why he shouldn't feel down :rolleyes: .....I work on the principle that misery loves company and I don't want to be that company!

If you want to deal with it as I did, then tell your friend that unless they tell you what is up there is nothing more you can do & so they should either snap out of it while they are with you or you will see them when they feel happier.....give it 10mins or so and if they still haven't coughed up with the problem or side-lined it until away from your company, then tell them they obviously want to be on their own & to give you a call when they feel cheerier or want a chat....;)

I found refusing to be witness to my husband revelling in whatever self-pity he was feeling and refusing just to just sit there & ego-stroke, forced him to make the decision to tell me the issue or to be miserable on his own....and as any good actor will tell you, they need an audience! Eventually they learn the drill and when you say speak to me or I'll see you later, they tell you what is up rather than playing games.....Best of luck

umm Ickle Magoo, are you GOD speaking to me????:D

the person in question came online and was all upset saying they did something bad and something bad had happened. i asked what and they said they couldnt tell me. as i said they do this well too often so i just said out right that if they dont tell me whats wrong then how am i supposed to help and that if they didnt want to tell me then dont talk about it at all with me... within about 20 minutes said person couldnt shut up about it


so again... umm GOD, can you give me then numbers to the euro millions next week:p

Ickle Magoo

Lol! Glad my learned experience during those months of torture trying to wrangle problems out of my other half was of some help to you ......and if I knew the Euro Million numbers there wouldn't have been a roll-over this week and I wouldn't be typing this, I'd be too busy slurping champers from Andy Roddicks belly button while on my private jet en route to my own tropical island.....*sigh*....lol!!

0utshined

Weren't you banned from AH about two days ago Tails2?

http://boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=50814740&postcount=39

Why are you back so soon?

tails2

0utshined wrote:

Weren't you banned from AH about two days ago Tails2?

http://boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=50814740&postcount=39

Why are you back so soon?

trial by jury my friend trial by jury...

oh and LET IT DIE you fiend!!!

0utshined

I wasn't part of the other thread, just surprised you were back on so soon.