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Why must it hurt?

  • 31-01-2006 3:18pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 48


    Now my chest is burning,
    As thoughts of her go racing
    My heart starts pacing.

    I'm still in love.

    Now my eyes are stinging,
    Looking into the night sky
    Stars cease to shine.

    I still need her.

    Now pain fills my veins,
    Rushes through me,
    Thoughts distorted,
    Images blurred,
    Confusion corrupts my heat,
    Blindly it beats
    Waves of sorrow.

    I miss her.

    But who am i?
    Only a puppet of love.
    My own feelings i don't control.

    I'm in love with you,
    I need you.

    I just can't lose you.


Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12 TheVerBal1


    I like the message, its just said in a plain way, the message is to easy to decipher, U say it so plainly if u know what I mean, "I still love her"... its just a statement, theres no tone or emotion in it... nah mean?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,016 ✭✭✭lilmissprincess


    Wow. Thats pretty much summing up everything. Its an amzing poem, I like your style on the subject, especailly the bit "Thoughts distorted,
    Images blurred,
    Confusion corrupts my heat,
    Blindly it beats
    Waves of sorrow."
    Thank you.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 69 ✭✭Night_Rocker


    It's a ****in Meat Loaf song. That poem is bad. I'm sorry, but it's just not good. It's not good for a poem it's more of a song. you wouldn't get away with that as a poem. Could have been a little less blunt and a bit more emotional. Less boring. Make them so you have to think about them. Poems should hit you with the writers emotion. When you read it you should be able to go, "Man, that poem really hit me. I know EXACTLY how they feel." If the poet is crying, you should wanna cry too. With this i didn't feel that at all. It was just... bleh


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 57 ✭✭slinky


    Would put it in my Valentines Card.


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