How meet people

LegacyUser

I'm 18, just started college and i'm lost. None of my friends came with me, and while I have lots of aquaintences I have no real friends. I am getting lonlier and lonlier. I'm no good at meeting people (especially girls) but I always got there eventually. Now with so much free time I can feel a dull ache constantly. My old friends are busy and I don't gel with my brothers. What do I do. I'd like a girlfriend or some companion but I'm just no good at the banter and no-one has time to get to know me.

LegacyUser

Hey maybe check out this post

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2054854763&highlight=no+friends

smileykate

I have just started college this year and am only making friends now!! Seriolusly, its such a big change and everyone makes freinds at different times!!-will probably happen when you least expect it.

Try joining some kinda social groups, like sports or any other things you take an interest in!! Trust me its alot easier that way!! Focus on making friends first and then focus on the girlfriend thing!! It may not be your cup of tea but why not email your college councellor(cant spell that word) or one of your lecturers-maybe they might have some suggestions because i gaurentee this happens to alot of people when starting college!!

Hope things improve for you real soon!!

Lonely heart

Lonely heart wrote:

I'm 18, just started college and i'm lost. None of my friends came with me, and while I have lots of aquaintences I have no real friends. I am getting lonlier and lonlier. I'm no good at meeting people (especially girls) but I always got there eventually. Now with so much free time I can feel a dull ache constantly. My old friends are busy and I don't gel with my brothers. What do I do. I'd like a girlfriend or some companion but I'm just no good at the banter and no-one has time to get to know me.

Join some clubs and societies. Best way of making friends.

Mr_Roger_Bongos

I went to UCD not knowing ANYONE! As you say, at the minute you have alot of acquaintences, but no one you would class as a friend, at least compared with your old mates. It nearly took me the whole of first year before i actually thought of people as proper m8s. Just takes time, stick with it.

tricky D

Friends first, girlfriends after (or as a result). In College socs and social groups are a great way to go, but you also need to develop the interpersonal skills otherwise you're dead in the water. Check out the BBC One Life website for some sound advice on such things as Confidence, Dealing with Failure, Meeting People, Chatting, Relationships, ... and a load of other stuff. Ended up there last night by accident and spent an hour there last night as a refresher,... good.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/onelife/personal/index.shtml
Happy hunting:)
Also, bear in mind, some/many 1st year friends get dropped by 2nd, afterall it is a good time for experimenting

Nalz

or maybe read this

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2054875972

Femelade

are u still living at home?

memphis

I strongly recommend that you speak to a member of the student union or even a lecturer. It is not uncomman for persons to experience lonliness, and lack of friendship in their first year of college.

You need to tackle this, and posting here has been the first step. There are people there, in your college, that are willing to listen in a confidential and understanding manner.

I hope you get it sorted. best of luck!!

TheVan

It took me a long time to expand beyond the one or two people i got to know in freshers week.
You're right meeting people is hard. However if you just really put yourself out there you'll meet people. In your own head you might sound excruciatingly forward but since you sound a bit shy then people will only perceive you as friendly.
Joining a society/getting involved in something(like doing the maiden's mace) are great ways to meet people.
Don't worry about it, it will be ok in the end.

No advice for meeting girls though, haven't sorted that one out yet myself!

Jonny Arson

Hey OP. Starting college can be a traumatic experience for alot of people. New surroundings, new course and unfamiliar people around you can be very tough to deal with and get used to. I've been in this situation too and sadly it hasn't got better for me. I'm a year and a half in college and I haven't got to know hardly anyone, I rarely talk to anybody and I'm lonely out in college. I've tried hard but sometimes trying too hard will lead to it all been thrown back in your face like in my case. Luckily I wasn't away from my family and friends so that was comfort for me to a degree so I can understand that you must be really feeling like crap. Best thing to do is to talk to a counsellor first. If it affects you academically then you have got serious food for thought. The best advice (and I know it's easier said than done if your shy) is too see if there are any clubs or socs in your college you have a genuine interest in. It's never too late to get involved but it isn't always the solution to your problem. Even if you can find one genuine friend your college experience can be alot happier.

Good luck and keep the chin up

howdareyou

memphis wrote:

I strongly recommend that you speak to a member of the student union or even a lecturer

Are you mad? What can some self-appointed expert or an old man do?

Man, just join a decent sports club with some real men in it, like rugby or something. Don't get involved in rock nostalgia society, murder she wrote appreciation or any other nerdy crap, or you'll end up sitting in the student bar for years laughing at simpsons jokes. Throw yourself in the deep end and do a proper sport.

Femelade

well, when i first went to college i didnt have any friends for ages, i was the only girl in a class of about 40 guys so at the start i had no female friends, of course the boys were very nice and welcoming to me but i need a female friend.
i was living with my cousin and her family for a while, and it wasnt until i moved out and into a house with some other girls, (didnt know any of them) it was then that i made friends, and loads of them, i became good friends with one girl, then girls in her course, then their friends from different courses etc....

so if u are living at home, ,maybe u should try moving out and into a house with a few people your age?

memphis

howdareyou wrote:

Are you mad? What can some self-appointed expert or an old man do?

Thye can be a listening ear, and a seriously big help in jumping any hurdle. If they can't help personally they are likely to point the OP in the right direction, be in a consellor or whatever.

As for speaking to a lecturer, they are somewhat older and wiser, and have been through the system, know what its like being a fresher etc, and can be of some support.... believe it or not. (I'm speaking from personal experience here).

who007

Lonely heart wrote: »

I'm 18, just started college and i'm lost. None of my friends came with me, and while I have lots of aquaintences I have no real friends. I am getting lonlier and lonlier. I'm no good at meeting people (especially girls) but I always got there eventually. Now with so much free time I can feel a dull ache constantly. My old friends are busy and I don't gel with my brothers. What do I do. I'd like a girlfriend or some companion but I'm just no good at the banter and no-one has time to get to know me.

Hey - just don't beat yourself up over it. You'd be surprised how many people go through a stage like that in their lives - and some who do a number of times as their life path changes. It's no fault of your own, just get yourself out there doing things you enjoy like sports/drama group or whatever and life will take it's course. A girlfriend won't be a magic solution though - try and build an even circle of friends not a gf and fillers in for when she's not there..