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What to do? another relationship query....

  • 19-01-2006 12:08pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi there,

    I was going out with a girl nearly a year and everything was good until she started moaning and nagging at me if I didnt see her all the time, so I finished it....I just wanted to be out with my mates all the time in the pub! lol

    Now im not a shallow person at all but she wouldnt have been the best looking girl around and I wasnt really physically attracted to her at all, but she was really sound and I was mad about her, anyhow, we've been in contact since and of course did the dirty deed over xmas, I then, didnt want to get back with her, either did she wanna get back with me, she has been telling me lately (we still speak/mail) that she cant get over me, I do miss her myself but I dont know if its just loneliness or if I want her back, its like I dunno if I want to go back to gettin grief or if I really miss her and am gonna admit I was a fool for breaking up with her and make a go of things......

    The (sad) excuse I used when I broke up with her was I "didnt want a girlfriend" We didnt even really argue much either, anyway, I dont know what to do, ask her to get back with me or just forget about it and move on.....

    Sorry for the length of the post!


Comments

  • #2
    Beruthiel
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,362 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    I believe you'd know in your gut if you wanted her back.
    imo you feel lonely and would like the odd shag, I suggest you get it elsewhere and let her get over you because as it is, you are just dragging it out and making it worse for her.
    I'd go as far as saying that you should also break off all contact, including mails, this just gives her hope that isn't there.


  • #3
    Khannie
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 37,485 ✭✭✭✭Khannie


    Couldn't have put it better than Ruthie. What she said x 2.


  • #4
    Nuttzz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,784 ✭✭✭Nuttzz


    how to get over someone? get under someone else... other than that echo the above tbh


  • #5
    AngryBadger
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,251 ✭✭✭AngryBadger


    See above


  • #6
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I think your right Ruth,

    I was thinking of ceasing all contact, but I dunno, we are capable of being good mates aswell and I wouldnt like to lose her as a mate, maybe if I gave her a break of a couple of months she would get over me?


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  • #7
    Beruthiel
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,362 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    Proper Plank wrote:
    maybe if I gave her a break of a couple of months she would get over me?

    I think it normally takes a good 6 months, by then she should have moved on and be ok


  • #8
    lazydaisy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 483 ✭✭lazydaisy


    Yes what Beruthial said.

    Ive been the girl in that situation. All your doing is confusing her.

    It sounds like you like her but not enough to be her boyfriend.


  • #9
    Nalz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,890 ✭✭✭✭Nalz


    Beruthiel wrote:
    I think it normally takes a good 6 months, by then she should have moved on and be ok

    yeah it takes 5-6 months for the pain to go away and for someone to begin thinking of moving on. Some may take longer but the majority of relationships (especially ones less than 5 years) will probably need about 5 or 6 months to get things fully back on track.


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