First Date Grievance

HarryHoudini

I was out there a couple of nights ago with a girl for some drinks, first date and all that. There was two things that really bugged me:

1. From the second the date started she began looking at her phone every 10mins or so to check for messages. I can understand it if the date wasnt going well and she was trying to drop some not so subtle hints but this was from the second we sat down. Also she's asked me ouy again so obviously things didnt go that bad. I just found it so fecking rude and obnoxious.

2. Naming people I've never ever met, let alone heard of, for example, John seen that film and says its very good!
I have never met John in my life, is he your brother, friend, uncle, how am I supposed to know who John is!?? I cant understand people who do this. Why not say my brother john, or my friend john.

Anyway, thats my little first date rant. Has anyone else got any first date grievances they would like to share?

Sounds like she had very little interest in being there.

Hard luck buddy.

godtabh

ronoc wrote:

Sounds like she had very little interest in being there.

Hard luck buddy.

If she didnt why would she ask him out again?

xzanti

She sounds like a girl I used to know... Went out for a drink with her a couple of times and I just refused to go again.. I think I was more an accessorie for her than company.. she spent most of the night looking at her phone.. And I wouldnt mind but she didnt get one text or call the whole time..
Very annoying not to mention selfish IMO :rolleyes:

joejoem

kearnsr wrote:

If she didnt why would she ask him out again?

Because she is a woman, they just do that, they dont mean it deep down, its just that Y Chromosome

HarryHoudini

ronoc wrote:

Sounds like she had very little interest in being there.

Hard luck buddy.

Thats what I thought when I was there, but then 10mins after we parted she texts me and tells me she had a great night and would love to do it again.
Next day, more texts, first one always from her and then she asks me out again. Mad!

I'll go along and see what happens, maybe she was expecting a text, I dont know, but she could have at least said.

Second point still holds true. Grrr....

biko

HarryHoudini wrote:

1. From the second the date started she began looking at her phone every 10mins or so to check for messages. I can understand it if the date wasnt going well and she was trying to drop some not so subtle hints but this was from the second we sat down. Also she's asked me ouy again so obviously things didnt go that bad. I just found it so fecking rude and obnoxious.

About the phone thing.
I'm going out with this girl and I know she wants to be there with me. She often initiates the dates. Even then she just have to have the bleeding phone A) on the table and pressing it every few minutes so it lights up.

Why would she do this, I hear you ask. The effing phone will ring/ beep/ vibrate if there is a message.
I just think she is really attached to it and wants to make sure it's on and in working order :rolleyes:

It's just one of those things you'll have to put up with I guess. Drives me nuts sometimes tbh...

jesus_thats_gre

Ask her if her phone is more interesting that you.. She sounds like a waste of time anyway so you have nothing to loose If you are lucky, you might get sex out of guilt

Dellgirl

2. Naming people I've never ever met, let alone heard of, for example, John seen that film and says its very good!
I have never met John in my life, is he your brother, friend, uncle, how am I supposed to know who John is!?? I cant understand people who do this. Why not say my brother john, or my friend john.

I have to admit to having done - and still, on accassion do - this! it drives the other half demented. I dont think its deliberate on her part. Mind you, we were out driving last weekend and I forgot he was in the car so when he spoke I nearly went throught the window with fright....so maybe Im not thr best one to be offering an opinion here!
However, I do think the phone thing is rude. I hate when Im sitting with someone and they fiddle with their phone constantly. This is downright rude as far as Im concerened.

Crucifix

She could have been nervous, and checking her phone was her own little nervous tick.

Pigman II

I hate people who expectantly leave their phone on the table when they go out for drinks. Bloody obnoxious in itself imho and I've found the people who do it usually fit that description in general too.

Go to the jacks or wait til your on your own if you want to check your txts. Checking sms's right in front of someone is the height of rudeness imho.

rubadub

Crucifix wrote:

She could have been nervous, and checking her phone was her own little nervous tick.

Thats what I was thinking, I have seen people messing with lighters and smoke packs in the same way, checking how many are in it for no apparent reason.

lazydaisy

OP-

I would find both your 1. and your 2. the height of annoying. One is very rude like they cant be fully present to you and 2, is just self centred.

Yes you may get sex out of but would she be texting in the middle of it? Or would she switch it to vibrate?

pcwares

sorry if this seems cynical but who paid for the drinks?

BoozyBabe

I also agree with the nervous thing.

Maybe it's not the case, but just maybe it was. It was the 1st date afterall, you don't really know each other so might not have that much to say. Perhaps she did it when she felt one of those 1st date little awkward silences approaching!!

Don't write her off just yet. Like you said, she text you later that night, text you the next day, so obviously she's fond of the oul texts & her phone.
Put up with it for a little while if it continues until you're comfortable enough to say leave the bloody phone alone for a while.

As for the talking about people you don't know. I wouldn't get worked up over that either. I've known my now bf as a friend for quite along time but don't know his neighbours, relations etc. With knowing him for so long, I know he's a very quiet person & doesn't really give much away about himself to anyone.
He's forever doing this. I saw Mick earlier, Jane was just saying........
I think it's sweet actually as he's giving me the names of people in his life, i.e. letting me into his life as opposed to keeping me at a distance like he does with everyone else. I think he hopes that I take enough interest to say who's Mick, who's Jane, which I do, & then he tells me. Maybe this girl is the same

All part of getting to know the person.

Try it.

Lux23

It could just be a nervous tick. I used to always do that with my fone but it remains firmly in my bag now, if it rings I will check and see who it is but if its not important I just put it on silent.

Dave

I'd put it down to nerves personally. Maybe the whole mentioning people who you don't know was also down to nerves, just trying to fill the conversation?

joejoem

You know whats a deal breaker for me on a first date, actually on a third fourth or tenth date..... When they go to take food from your plate. I'm very particular about my food!

Hobbes

Get a friend to text her next time saying "PUT THE GODDAM PHONE DOWN AND PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR DATE"

rubadub

Dave wrote:

I'd put it down to nerves personally. Maybe the whole mentioning people who you don't know was also down to nerves, just trying to fill the conversation?

Yes it can be a invitation for conversation, it bugs me a bit when people do it. When she says "john went to the film", she may want you to ask who john is. I only really notice women doing this, like saying "oh, I'm in bits", waiting for you to ask why, and then hear about the party or whatever they went to. Or saying "I won't be going to that cinema in town again", and leaving it hanging for a question

segadreamcast

joejoem wrote:

You know whats a deal breaker for me on a first date, actually on a third fourth or tenth date..... When they go to take food from your plate. I'm very particular about my food!

...ever watch 'Friends'? Had to be asked.

Dellgirl

You know whats a deal breaker for me on a first date, actually on a third fourth or tenth date..... When they go to take food from your plate. I'm very particular about my food!

Now this drives me wick! Listen...its a chip...its not like Im taking your dinner or ought like that!!:D 1 meserly chip and ye start blowing gaskets.
Well....dont think I dont notice those squares of my aero bar missing when my back is turned.

robbie1876

Dellgirl wrote:

Mind you, we were out driving last weekend and I forgot he was in the car so when he spoke I nearly went throught the window with fright....

Was he driving?

Dellgirl

He was. We were going out to Swords Industrial Estate and I was day dreaming away as the greenery whizzed by and was in a world of my own. I get hypotized really easily by random passing objects!
I am learning to drive and one thing that does worry me is when Im on a long journey that I will go into one of these dazes - esp at night with repeditive cats eyes - and do damage.

joejoem

Dellgirl wrote:

Now this drives me wick! Listen...its a chip...its not like Im taking your dinner or ought like that!!:D 1 meserly chip and ye start blowing gaskets.
Well....dont think I dont notice those squares of my aero bar missing when my back is turned.

I'm sorry but if you eat my food you will see my jaw drop and watch a hissy fit ensue. Its a major Faux Pas for me. MAJOR!!!!!

And besides, I bought you the aero

Dellgirl wrote:

He was. We were going out to Swords Industrial Estate and I was day dreaming away as the greenery whizzed by and was in a world of my own. I get hypotized really easily by random passing objects!
I am learning to drive and one thing that does worry me is when Im on a long journey that I will go into one of these dazes - esp at night with repeditive cats eyes - and do damage.

This happens me aswell but never while driving. The "heart attack" of hearing someone beside me that I thought wasnt there has happened before.

godtabh

Maybe she was on wall for work or something? I reckon the nervous thing is more likely do.

The least she could've was apologise do and then looked at her phone.

jesus_thats_gre

Dellgirl wrote:

Now this drives me wick! Listen...its a chip...its not like Im taking your dinner or ought like that!!:D 1 meserly chip and ye start blowing gaskets.

Hmmm I am the same to be honest. The food on my plate is mine.. If you want what is on my plate, I will personally order and pay for your own plate of them. But, I don't like anyone taking my food..

Pigman II

Dellgirl wrote:

Now this drives me wick! Listen...its a chip...its not like Im taking your dinner or ought like that!!:D 1 meserly chip and ye start blowing gaskets.

*sigh* You just don't get it.

robbie1876

Dellgirl wrote:

He was. We were going out to Swords Industrial Estate and I was day dreaming away as the greenery whizzed by and was in a world of my own. I get hypotized really easily by random passing objects!
I am learning to drive and one thing that does worry me is when Im on a long journey that I will go into one of these dazes - esp at night with repeditive cats eyes - and do damage.

So who did you think was driving when you were day dreaming?

I'm always taking bits of my bf's food when we're out somewhere
he says I'm the only gf he's ever not minded doing that

as for the phone thing, mention it to her next time. ask "are you waiting for an important call/text"
I don't like wearing a watch so I check my phone for the time but that's about it

Dellgirl

And besides, I bought you the aero

Zing!


1 chip lads!! 1!

*sigh* You just don't get it

[PHP]I'm sorry but if you eat my food you will see my jaw drop and watch a hissy fit ensue. Its a major Faux Pas for me. MAJOR!!!!![/PHP]

Ok....so whats the crime equivelent here? Give me something equally as bad so I can compare. I dont mean Granny bashing crime or anything - but oh say........leaving sugar sprinkles and mug bottom stains and milk drops on the counter when making a cup of tea.
Or using a new big towel to step on when coming out of the shower even though there is a small towel that you used yesterday hanging up in the bathroom.
Or..me stealing your razor to shave and you finding it in the shower and going mad cos ...actually i dont know why.....blunting it?

Dellgirl

So who did you think was driving when you were day dreaming?

To do this I would have had to be aware that I was in the car in the first place! I was just floatin' along admiring the shades of green along the way! I was just off in another world I suppose.
Stop it now....Im starting to sound like a complete psyco!!

super_furry

Yeah, sounds like a nerves thing to me too. The fact that she kept going back to something familiar and reassuring - like her phone - doesn't mean she's not into you. She's obviously interested if she wants to meet you again so I'd give her another chance.

super_furry

Dellgirl wrote:

Now this drives me wick! Listen...its a chip...its not like Im taking your dinner or ought like that!!:D 1 meserly chip and ye start blowing gaskets.
Well....dont think I dont notice those squares of my aero bar missing when my back is turned.

If you want chips, order chips. The worst is when you order desert and the girl decides not too, only to eat half of your. Girls, if you want food, order it!

joejoem

Dellgirl wrote:

Zing!


1 chip lads!! 1!





Ok....so whats the crime equivelent here? Give me something equally as bad so I can compare. I dont mean Granny bashing crime or anything - but oh say........leaving sugar sprinkles and mug bottom stains and milk drops on the counter when making a cup of tea.
Or using a new big towel to step on when coming out of the shower even though there is a small towel that you used yesterday hanging up in the bathroom.
Or..me stealing your razor to shave and you finding it in the shower and going mad cos ...actually i dont know why.....blunting it?

You know what else we could do without? When you insist on talking to someone on the phone on the couch beside us, a big hour long conversation that we can hear. Then getting of the phone and telling us the entire conversation no matter how much we protest!

Dellgirl

So we can talk on the phone in yer persence now.....so what was the OP complaining about?!! your making it up as you go along now!!

joejoem

Dellgirl wrote:

So we can talk on the phone in yer persence now.....so what was the OP complaining about?!! your making it up as you go along now!!

Typical womans comeback :rolleyes:

Dellgirl

Haha! Sorry joejoem.....done that to wreak your head!

joejoem

Dellgirl wrote:

Haha! Sorry joejoem.....done that to wreak your head!

No worries, I'm in stitches here writing it

jimmycrackcorm

Every time she looks at her phone next date, send her a text saying "hello still here" - she'll cop on quick enough.

joejoem

jimmycrackcorm wrote:

Every time she looks at her phone next date, send her a text saying "hello still here" - she'll cop on quick enough.

and click your fingers and make a huff noise. Score.

thelordofcheese

joejoem wrote:

You know whats a deal breaker for me on a first date, actually on a third fourth or tenth date..... When they go to take food from your plate. I'm very particular about my food!

My current Gf is a vegetarian, so whenever she starts to steal my chips or anything else on my plate, I offer her the meat part of the dish instead. repeatedly.

she hasn't tried to take my food in a while.

misswex

Sounds like a nerves thing to me as well. Your right for giving her a second chance.

If she does it on the second date just ask her is she waiting on a text or phone call, that should stop the constant looking at phone.

HarryHoudini

Cheers for opinions guys and gals. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt and assume its just nerves on her part. But if she starts with that stuff on thursday......

Point no.2 just bugs me about all people I guess, so we'll write that off too. Besides, the food thing, well maybe she's psoting somewhere about that herself, I did nick quite a few chips on her. Ahhhh, it all balances out.

Lady_Macbeth

I doubt she meant any malice by it; some people just have an instinct to reach for their phone at any given opportunity: it has become like an infant requiring constant attention.

It is irritating, yes, but unless you actually say it to her there is, frankly, nothing you can do about it. It is one of her habits. Albeit a rude one.

With regard to her second trait that irritated you, I can safely say from a personal perspective that this was entirely innocent. People mention their friends'/relatives'/who ever in conversation; it's fairly natural to refer to them by name rather than 'cousin X.'

Perhaps you would be able to overlook these characteristics if you choose to be with this woman.

Perhaps you won't.

It's up to you to decide whether these qualities of hers are so interfering as to render a relationship impossible.

- Lady

HarryHoudini

Lady_Macbeth wrote:

I doubt she meant any malice by it; some people just have an instinct to reach for their phone at any given opportunity: it has become like an infant requiring constant attention.

It is irritating, yes, but unless you actually say it to her there is, frankly, nothing you can do about it. It is one of her habits. Albeit a rude one.

With regard to her second trait that irritated you, I can safely say from a personal perspective that this was entirely innocent. People mention their friends'/relatives'/who ever in conversation; it's fairly natural to refer to them by name rather than 'cousin X.'

Perhaps you would be able to overlook these characteristics if you choose to be with this woman.

Perhaps you won't.

It's up to you to decide whether these qualities of hers are so interfering as to render a relationship impossible.

- Lady

I hear you. To be honest I wasnt all that put off by what I mentioned, if I was I would have posted this in the PI forum, as I said I'm seeing her again, I was just wondering if anyone else had any annoyances they would like to share about when meeting up with someone on a first date.

Oriel

Sure it's great chance to stare at her boobies...

Font22

i completely agree with the notion that its a nervous thing. i'm guilty of it myself. its almost like a security blanket, having your phone near by.

Siogfinsceal

if she asked you out again she obv does like you but maybe she was nervous