worried about boyfriend

LegacyUser

I really need some advice.

My boyfriend's mother was diagnosed with breast cancer about 2 years ago. She got through it but about 3 months ago it came back and spread to her bones. She hasn't been the best for the last few weeks and doctors have just said she only has weeks left.
My boyfriend has been trying to cope with loads of other including the death of his father, getting over a drug addiction which got him into a lot of trouble with the law. He has been acting really distant lately which I haven't questioned as I just put it down to him being upset about his mother. He doesn't really talk about anything he just keeps it all inside. I've tried a few times to talk to him about things but he changes the subject as if he doesn't even want to think about it.
Now he's just rang me to say he needs some space, he's going to be gone for a few days he just needs to get his head around everything. I'm just so worried about him. I just want to ring him and talk to him but I'm not sure if its the right thing to do? Should I just leave him have his space for a few days? I'm afraid of him thinking that I don't care.

sutty

Send him a text, saying you care for him and will be there if he needs you. Then give him the space he asked for. alot going on in his life. Some people just need space to clear their heads and not get bogged down. Best of luck

Beruthiel

sutty wrote:

Send him a text, saying you care for him and will be there if he needs you.

I second that

LegacyUser

Yeah, thanks Im going to do that now.

I'm just so bad at these kind of things I'm scared incase he thinks I don't care! I really do but I just don't know how to tell him..... uhh!
Thanks guys

Loomis

Personally I find it very hard to talk about things.I bottle it up until it gets too much.It ends up where I want to talk but can't and unless someone drags it out of me I'll stay as I am.
He said he wants to get away to sort his head out.Maybe that's just how he's dealing with it.Or it could be a cry for help too.I'd say contact him saying you're very worried.Tell him to take as much time as he needs but if he'd rather talk to you to try and sort it out then you'd be more than willing to help.Also say that once he's done and whether he feels he's sorted his head out or not that you'd be there for him also just so he can go over things with someone else.Verbalise what he thinks he's sorted et cetera
Good luck with it

440Hz

I think the texting is the best idea. Maybe something like telling him you cant possibly know how he feels (presuming you dont) but that you want him to know you will always be there for him. tell him you understand if he doesnt want to talk and that he can have as much time as he needs but you just want him to know you are there for him even if he just doesnt feel like being alone. dont force him to talk to you, just be there is he needs you. thats all you can do.
you said you are not very good at these things, tbh noone ever is, the best way you can show him that you do care is to give him the space he asked for... but be ready if he needs you there.

good luck, to both of you.