Pregnant?

LegacyUser

Hi,

I am a 17 year old guy. Me and my gf started having sex just over a month ago. We were using extra safe condoms as our only method of contraception and made every effort to ensure we used them properly, and even tested the condom with water afterwards.

Though i am in total shock since yesterday, my gf has missed her period by 3 days and she said that she had a yellowish vaginal discharge about 2 days ago.

We are getting a pregnancy test today to see if she is or not. But i really couldn't take it if she was, i just can't have a child in my life right now and i'm very very scared, the most i've ever been. I may as well not be alive if she's pregnant, my life will be ruined and i have my leaving this summer and that would be destroyed as would my aspirations of going to college. Neither of us could

omg...i just had to get this off my chest because i'm tearing up inside and haven't got much sleep in the past few days. It will be the happiest time in my life if i see a negative on the test today

Beruthiel

breath deep, no need for the heart attack till you know for sure, sometimes periods are late.
also
only using condoms without the pill is a big no no, if everything turns out ok, make sure she's on the pill before ye have sex again!

Mina Loy

Feeling_Down wrote:

Hi,

I am a 17 year old guy. Me and my gf started having sex just over a month ago. We were using extra safe condoms as our only method of contraception and made every effort to ensure we used them properly, and even tested the condom with water afterwards.

Though i am in total shock since yesterday, my gf has missed her period by 3 days and she said that she had a yellowish vaginal discharge about 2 days ago.

We are getting a pregnancy test today to see if she is or not. But i really couldn't take it if she was, i just can't have a child in my life right now and i'm very very scared, the most i've ever been. I may as well not be alive if she's pregnant, my life will be ruined and i have my leaving this summer and that would be destroyed as would my aspirations of going to college. Neither of us could

omg...i just had to get this off my chest because i'm tearing up inside and haven't got much sleep in the past few days. It will be the happiest time in my life if i see a negative on the test today

Relax. It could be due to anything, stress or diet..you sound young...the leavin does that to you Only kidding, but I get freake dout all the time only to find it comes a day later. wee.

Dave

Everyone has been there before man. Stress and a whole other set of variables can result in the delay of a womans period. There's no point in being stressed out about it (easier said than done eh?), because what's done is done. I would like to reassure you and say if worse come to worst then it's not the end of the world for you, despite what you may think at the moment

LegacyUser

Don't stress. Seriously I know that is easier said than done but as Dave said, everyone has been there. I remember the first time that starting sleeping with my first boyfriend, pretty much the same thing happened. Looking back on it now Id say I was late cos I was so stressed about the idea of being late! She is probably so worried about the possibility of being pregnant anyway and now her body is just responding to that stress. Seriously though, there is very little you can do now other than wait and see... like dave said if it is not the news you are hoping for it is not the end of the world... but tbh im sure someone will say it eventually in this thread, if you dont think you are ready to deal with this situation then maybe you are not ready to be running the risk either!

Anyway best of luck with it, we all know how tough it is, and most of all just be there for your gf whatever happens.

Lady_Macbeth

Relax. It's good to see that you both were responsible enough to use condoms in the first place, and although they are not foolproof, they are very effective, not only against pregnancy but also against STIs - so if you continue to have sex and even use other forms of contraception (such as the pill) don't forget to use a condom as well.

Regarding your fears about your girlfriend... Periods can be late for a number of reasons, and 3 days isn't a very long delay. Some things to think about:
- you said you were 17...I'm presuming your girlfriend is around the same age, in which case, depending on her cycle, she may not be fully settled into a very regular pattern yet, and might have irregular periods anyway.

- you mentioned that you have just started having sex together - perhaps the worry and stress of pregnancy has delayed her period.

- also, if she's on any medication/has been sick, this can interfere with her cycle, particularly any antibiotics or anything like that.

If it's any consolation, my period was just over a week late when I lost my virginity. Even though we had used a condom safely, it scared the bejaysus out of me as soon as he had finished inside me. I was due my period the following week, but it didn't come until about a week after that, during which time my boyfriend at the time and I were absolutely shítting it for fear that we had pro-created. Nevertheless, it was a joyous day when I finally got it!

Best of luck anyway

- Lady

johnnyrotten

Theres many reasons why a girl is late, especially when in teenage years. Relax and get her to relax too. The stress of being late can delay the period.
If you were using the condom properly and were careful there should be no problem.
And if the worst happens it is not the end of the world.

Lets know how you get on

LegacyUser

going unreg for this one, college computers won't let me log in!

Beruthiel wrote:

only using condoms without the pill is a big no no

not necessarily true... not everyone can take the pill, for whatever reasons. just look at some of the side effects of differnet pills, or how effectiveness is reduced with people who smoke or who are overweight. or how some medicine, such as penicillin, counteracts the pill. so sometimes there's no option but to just use condoms.

Beruthiel wrote:

make sure she's on the pill before ye have sex again!

maybe better advise is for the OP and his girlfriend to go to the doctor and discuss their options together in a mature and responsible way.

i do agree that more than one form of contrecption is needed, but the pill isn't always an option for everyone.

and @ the OP,
don't worry. all of my friends who are sexually active have experienced this before. the first time i had sex, i was 6 weeks late because i was so stressed about it! i know its the last thing you want to hear but try to relax. your attitude towards this will have a big impact on your girlfriends stress levels so if you can stay calm, it'll help her stay calm.

good luck! just remember that you were responsible about all of this, there's plenty of people out there not using condoms so big-ups to ya for using them in the first place.

little_green_fa

op,
that's so odd,
change the ages slightly and i'm in exactly the same position as you! 5days late after losing my virginity about a month ago. we were freakin out too over the weekend, did a test, twas negative.

had to go to docs to go on antibiotics for a throat infection, talked to him about it, expained i've just had my first college exams and he really helped to put my mind at ease.

As you can see from the above responses, sometimes girls are just late. IT happens. in my case, doc put a lot of it down to exam stress (this may be the same in your case?) and the fact that the pregnancy worry is always in the back of my mind. It's a vicious circle, the more you worry, the later it will be...

We did another test last night as my period still hasn't come, again it was negative so finally my mind is at ease. I suggest you do a test (clear blue is the one we used), it'll give you an accurate answer and at least let you know where you stand.

Good luck with everything, hope it all works out for the best, show your girlfriend that you're there for her, i'm guessing she's terrified too.

Oh and talk to your girlfriend about her going on the pill, i have mine ready and on the shelf as soon as this whole lateness thing ends

hullaballoo

The same thing was constantly happening to me and my girlfriend when we were in your position at 17. Usually, it was the worry of missing her period that made her late, so as time went on, we discovered it was important for her to relax at that time.

The pill is definitely the best idea though, it's worth it for so many reasons, just be sure not to put pressure on her (I'm sure you won't, but just in case).

waterfaerie

Beruthiel wrote:

...only using condoms without the pill is a big no no...

What about the fact that the long term effects of the pill are unproven and that putting hormones into your body is unnatural? Do you think every girl should be on the pill? Also, if a girl is on the pill there is more temptation to not use condoms because she thinks she can't get pregnant, and there are a lot of STI's out there that would be more serious than having a baby. Condoms may not be enough on their own but they are better than the pill on its own. There are many other options and going to a gp or family planning centre is a good idea. I totally agree with "couldnt_login" on this one.

To the OP, the fact that you have only just begun to have sex, and the fact that you are going to the trouble of checking condoms with water means you're probably over anxious about the pregnancy thing, not that over-caution is a bad thing, but being so worried could make a girl's period late. Also, 3 days is nothing really, i'd wait a week before worrying and then go to the gp, and even then it'll probabaly be ok.
Good luck, and good on you for being responsible.

Victor

Feeling_Down wrote:

i just can't have a child in my life right now and i'm very very scared, the most i've ever been.

Fair enough, but its not the end of the world. Yes, a pregnancy has implications, but I think you'll both survive.

I may as well not be alive if she's pregnant, my life will be ruined

No it won't be.

and i have my leaving this summer and that would be destroyed as would my aspirations of going to college.

Many girls are pregnant doing their LC and do OK, you won't be pregnant, so I'm sure you'll survive.

Dave!

OP, like nearly every poster has said , worrying about being pregnant probably made her miss her period, and the stress from that is probably exacerbating the problem! It's a vicious circle

If you find out she's pregnant, then there's always the option of abortion if the girl wants it, so it's not necessarily the end of the world. And as someone said, your attitude will rub off on her, so reassure her that it's the stress of the situation that's causing her to be late, and that it happens to everyone. Just be positive, make her feel like she's being silly for panicking

And get a pregnancy test ASAP!

Good luck to ye, let us know how it goes

Miguel_Sanchez

Feeling_Down wrote:

I may as well not be alive if she's pregnant, my life will be ruined and i have my leaving this summer and that would be destroyed as would my aspirations of going to college. Neither of us could

It may seem like this now but it's not true. Even if she is pregnant (and that's a big if) there's no reason that your life will be ruined. I know plenty of people who had kids young and went to college, or had kids while in college and still carried on. So don't stress.

Nothing is ever as bad as it first seems.

But the most likely result will be that she's not pregnant. Everyone has had these scares, the vast majority of them turn out to be false alarms.

Relax. Relax. Relax. Get a test done and put your mind at ease.

LegacyUser

Hey everyone,

Thanks alot for the replies! We'll words cannot actually express how happy i am right now. We did a test earlier and it was negative!...i've never felt so good in my entire life

The 10 minutes she went in to do the test felt like an entire day to me. My mind was screaming inside and i was getting more & more convinced by the minute she was pregnant

As regards to the late period, i'm guessing now that it was our worry just one day after she didn't have her regular period, which was very stupid of us and it was this i think that started to make us become more and more paranoid and stress her out...which in conclusion may have disrupted her cycle

As regards to contraception, we decided that we can't put ourselves through that again, so on the way home we stopped at the gp and have gotten a prescription for the pill....which we will use in conjunction with condoms. I'm sure we'll have a better sex life now, with absolutely no worry...

Well thanks again, i'm overjoyed and think i will celebrate this sometime soon!

LegacyUser

welcome to the joys of a relationship!! Stress, changing sleeping patterns, can interfere with a girl's cycle......chill out next time! Condoms are 99.9% safe at preventing pregnancy and STIs.

God I remember being your age....I used to **** myself!! But now the girlfriend can sometimes miss a period by as much as 3 weeks and I'm not even bothered!

LegacyUser

I'm sorry people for dwelling on this! But i have just a few final questions on my mind.

Right so we did the test yesterday, it was negative. Though i'm just looking at the FirstResponse info and it says that it works before your period.

Since my gf was 3 days over-due when she took the test, is there any chance that the test gave a false result? Would the test work when she is in the stage of the missed periods? Maybe the girls can answer that?

Also, she still hasn't had her period yet, this would be day 4 now. She also said that she never missed a period before (she's 17 btw)