is he interested?

LegacyUser

How do you know if a guy is interested?
He's my ex's friend. Me and my ex broke up 4 years ago, and he's since moved to England, so they're in contact, but not regularly.
I also slept with this guy before, about a year ago, but he acted like it never happened. He was drunk, but he did make the first move. The next morning I snuck out, not wanting to have that awkward "it was a mistake" conversation I thought was bound to follow. I was a bit stupid afterwards and was too flirty with him and he seemed to be a bit relucant to talk, so I changed course and we didnt talk that much since.
I broke up with a different boyfriend since, about 2 months ago, and I now seem to see this guy all the time, we chat occasionally, and he's offered to set me up with his friends, but I do find myself awfully attracted to him again, and while I'm being friendly, I'm trying not to act desperate.
Sometimes I wish we'd never slept together back then so it'd be easier now, and I do like having him as a friend, but, he's hot, and I like him a lot. Part of me says it's too complicated, and part of me says he's not interested.
Anyone got any surefire tips to tell?

Dave

Ask him?

Nalz

Whats wrong with women doin the askin for a change? Youv nothin to lose at all - ask him

LegacyUser

If he says no, I'm afraid he'll just stop talking to me and avoid me.
I'd rather be friends than have that happen.
But I'd rather be with him than be friends.

Canis Lupus

Yeah when a guy is interested in you his forehead develops a neon sign that says I like you. Can't believe you haven't noticed it before it's fairly obvious what with the flashing and all that.

You wanna score the guy then off you go and score him, you did it before I'm sure you remember how you managed it. On the other hand if you don't wanna score him then..... don't. It's your call really.

seamus

He's male. You're female. He's already slept with you, ergo he's attracted to you.

Think of it this way, if you say it to him, and he's not interested, there's a chance that he could stop talking to you. But he probably won't. In fact men like to have women hanging around that they know are attracted to them. It's an ego thing.
If you don't say it to him, you will continue to agonise over whether or not he's interested. You will die inside and grow to hate him for not somehow figuring out what's going on inside your head.

Dave

stupid-girl wrote:

But I'd rather be with him than be friends.

You've answered your own question there then. If that's the case, ask him. Seriously. As I've said before on this forum, what have you got to lose, but more importantly what have you got to gain.

AngryBadger

stupid-girl wrote:

I also slept with this guy before, about a year ago, but he acted like it never happened. He was drunk, but he did make the first move. The next morning I snuck out, not wanting to have that awkward "it was a mistake" conversation I thought was bound to follow. I was a bit stupid afterwards and was too flirty with him

Yeah sneaking out tells him you thought the sex was a mistake, so I'd say if he is interested he doesn't want to get burned by you.

At this point all you can do is say it to him, if you keep trying to flirt and hoping he'll bring it up, (which he won't because of the previous sex I'd guess), he'll just figure you're mucking him about.

Lux23

Just ask him. I would say he was a bit hurt that you snuck out on him and he's probably convinced that you thought sleeping with him was a terrible mistake.

AngryBadger

Also, a free steak dinner couldn't hurt

Loomis

AngryBadger wrote:

Yeah sneaking out tells him you thought the sex was a mistake, so I'd say if he is interested he doesn't want to get burned by you.

At this point all you can do is say it to him, if you keep trying to flirt and hoping he'll bring it up, (which he won't because of the previous sex I'd guess), he'll just figure you're mucking him about.

Wxactly what I thought.
Ever think that maybe he was odd with you after it happened because you left without a word rather than him being embarrassed cause he considered it a drunken mistake?

DAEDULUS

seamus wrote:

He's male. You're female. He's already slept with you, ergo he's attracted to you.

I take it you never worn a pair of the ol' beer goggles?

seamus

DAEDULUS wrote:

I take it you never worn a pair of the ol' beer goggles?

Beer Goggles don't apply when it's someone you've known for a good while.

LegacyUser

Dave wrote:

You've answered your own question there then. If that's the case, ask him. Seriously. As I've said before on this forum, what have you got to lose, but more importantly what have you got to gain.

He could not talk to me again? Things were awkward enough after the first time

Yeah sneaking out tells him you thought the sex was a mistake, so I'd say if he is interested he doesn't want to get burned by you.

Maybe, never thought about it like that, thought in the cold light of day he'd be a bit weird, and i thought it'd be easier.

I take it you never worn a pair of the ol' beer goggles?

See the thing is he told me that he only saw me as a friend a while before the night we got together and being together would be too weird. So after it happened I didnt want to face the "it was a mistake, and I told you before that it would be" conversation.
From things we've talked about since, I'm pretty sure he doesn't remember a huge amount about that night, stuff he's asked since I already answered, and things he's telling me "for the first time", he did already.
Flirt flirt flirt then? But I don't want him to see me as the desperado who wont leave him alone.