Gents

LegacyUser

before anyone says anything, this is NOT a gent bashing

ive been seeing someone for three or so months, we ve been getting on grand, he went home to the country as he was not well for the weekend, he was due to be back today. we always talk or meet up every monday, but he hasnt been in touch, his phone is off. and he hasnt bothered his a*s telling me he wasnt coming back.
Why is it some people have so little respect for each other that they hurt people like that ?

Canis Lupus

Maybe he died?

Seriously tho, some people don't think notifying others of there whereabouts to be important. Take my neighbours, they know where any family member is at any given time yet my family don't, I can vanish and my whereabouts not known for as long as I'm gone, same with the rest of my family. Anyway he might also have lost his phone, forgot his charger and doesn't know your number by heart as is the usual with mobiles nowadays.

Wait till he gets back and see what the story was, it may just be a simple reason for not calling.

jonny68

Canis Lupus wrote:

Maybe he died?

That's a terrible thing to say seriously,anyway who knows why this person hasn't contacted you maybe they are having too much fun catching up with their friends,etc there could be many reasons

LegacyUser

he is nt a kid, he s an adult.

he lives in the country but works in dublin.

he was sick last week and left early on friday, to try and get to the doctor.

phone is the only way we can get in touch.

tells me he cares a lot for me, but ive been having doubts A LOT lately.

casanova_kid

met someone else?

simu

little hurt wrote:

before anyone says anything, this is NOT a gent bashing

ive been seeing someone for three or so months, we ve been getting on grand, he went home to the country as he was not well for the weekend, he was due to be back today. we always talk or meet up every monday, but he hasnt been in touch, his phone is off. and he hasnt bothered his a*s telling me he wasnt coming back.
Why is it some people have so little respect for each other that they hurt people like that ?

You're far too sensitive tbh. Give him some time.

c - 13

One day ? One day and your reacting like that ? Do you not think your going little overboard, any number of things could have happened, one of them beig what cannis said, wait until the end of the week at least before you start losing it.

LegacyUser

c - 13 wrote:

One day ? One day and your reacting like that ? Do you not think your going little overboard, any number of things could have happened, one of them beig what cannis said, wait until the end of the week at least before you start losing it.

You really think she should wait a WEEK without hearing from him before she gets pisssed off?

Mmmm, now I don't know this guy, so I am going to allow for the fact that there could be some family/personal problems that he's dealing with and can't bring himself to tell you about.
Maybe he has lost his mobile and didn't have you number saved anywhere else.

However, unless this is the case, unless he has a damn good excuse I would be well pissssed off and I definately wouldn't be offering any second chances.

It is an incredibly selfish and hurtful thing to just vanish like that, knowing that someone cares about you and will be worried, hurt and confused by your lack of contact!

Even if its a case of a lack of interest on his part, to just disappear like that is cowardly and cruel.

LegacyUser

sillysausage wrote:

You really think she should wait a WEEK without hearing from him before she gets pisssed off?

Mmmm, now I don't know this guy, so I am going to allow for the fact that there could be some family/personal problems that he's dealing with and can't bring himself to tell you about.
Maybe he has lost his mobile and didn't have you number saved anywhere else.

However, unless this is the case, unless he has a damn good excuse I would be well pissssed off and I definately wouldn't be offering any second chances.

It is an incredibly selfish and hurtful thing to just vanish like that, knowing that someone cares about you and will be worried, hurt and confused by your lack of contact!

Even if its a case of a lack of interest on his part, to just disappear like that is cowardly and cruel.

it hurts a lot, i would not normally react like this, its just its our only form of contact, we can only see each other during the week. and i was only able to see him once last week, as he was conked out sick. he tells me he loves our time together, and enjoys it a lot. but i just cant help always having doubt, and im actually quite suprised and hurt by this

OMcGovern

little hurt wrote:

before anyone says anything, this is NOT a gent bashing

ive been seeing someone for three or so months, we ve been getting on grand, he went home to the country as he was not well for the weekend, he was due to be back today. we always talk or meet up every monday, but he hasnt been in touch, his phone is off. and he hasnt bothered his a*s telling me he wasnt coming back.
Why is it some people have so little respect for each other that they hurt people like that ?

If he's genuinely sick, then a little bit of sympathy wouldn't go astray, rather than think about your own insecurity.

If he's not sick, then maybe he faked it, to make a little bit of personal space for himself.... a breather.
To be honest, you do sound quite needy and clingy.
He was probably used to 100% freedom in his life.... now "Mondays" are scheduled events.

serabi

simu wrote:

You're far too sensitive tbh. Give him some time.

I'd be inclined to say relax- he'll contact you in his own time.
then mention that it bothered you and take it from there.
negotiate

Vorsprung

In fairness, it is one day!

You haven't got the whole story, stop thinking that it's a personal attack when it could well be something totally innocent. You are being too sensitive and come across as someone who is too clingy, something (hate to break it to you) a lot of guys aren't a fan of.

OMcGovern wrote:

If he's genuinely sick, then a little bit of sympathy wouldn't go astray, rather than think about your own insecurity.

If he's not sick, then maybe he faked it, to make a little bit of personal space for himself.... a breather.
To be honest, you do sound quite needy and clingy.
He was probably used to 100% freedom in his life.... now "Mondays" are scheduled events.

Agreed.

[Jackass]

Why don't you wait in a bush outside his house and monitor his movements?

A detailed log will enable you to know what he is doing and who he is seeing...also you'll be able to seize an oppertunity if he leaves a window open at night to climb in and watch him sleep...


Ahh only yanking your crank!! How do you know him? If it's through work or somewhere you'd see him anyway then you'll know soon enough...if not txt or call him...leave a message...if you still don't hear from him in a week, call over and see if he's ok, but at that stage it would be safe to say he would have lost interest...

The Bollox

when you say you have a lot of doubts, what do you mean? have you seen him with someone else or is it just paranoia? (I'm not taking a shot btw) I mean what if he just ran out of credit or something, like has been said already give it a few days before overreacting

Steoob

OMcGovern wrote:

To be honest, you do sound quite needy and clingy.
He was probably used to 100% freedom in his life.... now "Mondays" are scheduled events.

i totally agree...back off! dont be a leach

Amazotheamazing

So many rational reasons why he didn't call, why did you choose the worst one?

LegacyUser

im actually not been clingy, im just a person that likes to know where she stands.

Its a pretty intence relationship and there has been a lot of things to going on through out it even though its early days.

It would just really hurt if he decided to take the chicken route rather than be a real man

Sleepy

Amazotheamazing wrote:

So many rational reasons why he didn't call, why did you choose the worst one?

Him not liking her is the worst reason for his not calling?! Sheeit, I'm glad I've never dated you!

OP: There's a million good reasons why he mightn't have called yet, relax...

omb0wyn5ehpij9

sillysausage wrote:

You really think she should wait a WEEK without hearing from him before she gets pisssed off?

Mmmm, now I don't know this guy, so I am going to allow for the fact that there could be some family/personal problems that he's dealing with and can't bring himself to tell you about.
Maybe he has lost his mobile and didn't have you number saved anywhere else.

However, unless this is the case, unless he has a damn good excuse I would be well pissssed off and I definately wouldn't be offering any second chances.

It is an incredibly selfish and hurtful thing to just vanish like that, knowing that someone cares about you and will be worried, hurt and confused by your lack of contact!

Even if its a case of a lack of interest on his part, to just disappear like that is cowardly and cruel.

Im going to agree with Sillysausage here. I think unless he has a really really good excuse, he is out of line.

Oh dear, im the only guy to say that so far! :v:

OMcGovern

little hurt wrote:

im actually not been clingy, im just a person that likes to know where she stands.

Yeah, on a daily / weekly basis.

omb0wyn5ehpij9

OMcGovern wrote:

Yeah, on a daily / weekly basis.

What is wrong with knowing where you stand with somebody?

I hate the whole playing games and not knowing, life is too short. If i like somebody and wanna spend time with them, i'll tell them. If the feeling is mutual great, but if not, it saves a whole lot of time trying to figure things out for maybe months on end

kjt

little hurt wrote:

im actually not been clingy, im just a person that likes to know where she stands.

Its a pretty intence relationship and there has been a lot of things to going on through out it even though its early days.

It would just really hurt if he decided to take the chicken route rather than be a real man

Yet you cant wait a day/a few days to find out what the real problem is.
From what your saying it sounds like its a fast pased relationship. How do
you not have his home number?

Give him a few days and you'll get an answer, I know easier said then done.

Hope all works out just to be something minor.

Nalz

Canis Lupus wrote:

Maybe he died?

Muppet


To the OP, all you can do is give it time. how long is up to him, dont lose it with him though when he does contact you

Jesper

If he's sick he's probabley in bed taking it easy or sleeping. The last thing he wants is to be doing is starring at his bloody phone reasuring an insecure girl over his reasons for not fitting himself into her schecule.
Yes, he should of let you know.
No, you shouldn't be anyway freaked out.
Give him one and only one text enquiring about whats up but I already guess he's a dozen waiting for him.

LegacyUser

Jesper wrote:

If he's sick he's probabley in bed taking it easy or sleeping. The last thing he wants is to be doing is starring at his bloody phone reasuring an insecure girl over his reasons for not fitting himself into her schecule.
Yes, he should of let you know.
No, you shouldn't be anyway freaked out.
Give him one and only one text enquiring about whats up but I already guess he's a dozen waiting for him.

there is no text messages waiting. I rang him, and his phone is off, no message left or anything so no he wont be freaked !!!!

Canis Lupus

Trilla wrote:

Muppet

Imagine I was right, the horror I'd feel...... or maybe not.

OMcGovern

BrynW wrote:

What is wrong with knowing where you stand with somebody?

I hate the whole playing games and not knowing, life is too short. If i like somebody and wanna spend time with them, i'll tell them. If the feeling is mutual great, but if not, it saves a whole lot of time trying to figure things out for maybe months on end

"Kjt" hit the nail on the head.... it's a question of pace.
Rushing anybody beyond the pace they wish is likely to cause problems.

Also, it might affect our perception of the situation to know what ages "Little Hurt" and the boyfriend are ?

Gordon

Trilla, maybe Canis Lupis' comment wasn't quite what we'd have in mind for PI but you're way out of order with that comment.

Nalz

Gordon wrote:

way out of order with that comment.

apologies Gordon

Jesper

Jesper wrote:

If he's sick he's probabley in bed taking it easy or sleeping. The last thing he wants is to be doing is starring at his bloody phone reasuring an insecure girl over his reasons for not fitting himself into her schecule.
Yes, he should of let you know.
No, you shouldn't be anyway freaked out.
Give him one and only one text enquiring about whats up but I already guess he's a dozen waiting for him.

It's "should have", not should of.

OP: after a day? Relax. Seriously.
If he has a valid reason, no point worrying.
If he doesn't, no point worrying.

LegacyUser

Any news yet ?

LegacyUser

NortSoide wrote:

Any news yet ?

his phone is still off... im not too sure whats going on, there is other factors involved that im not going to go into here. but i just wana know what the story is, or even if he s okay !?

sutty

Maybe he is to sick to work and left his phone charger in dublin? Happens all the time to the lads I live with.. hell they even leave their phones at home!

LegacyUser

sutty wrote:

Maybe he is to sick to work and left his phone charger in dublin? Happens all the time to the lads I live with.. hell they even leave their phones at home!

i wish, but dont think so... i just dunno what he s playing at

Canis Lupus

little hurt wrote:

i wish, but dont think so... i just dunno what he s playing at

Maybe he just doesn't love you anymore?

LegacyUser

Canis Lupus wrote:

Maybe he just doesn't love you anymore?

First off, thats a fairly lousy thing to say to the girl when she is clearly upset.

Also, even if this was the case, even if he had just lost interest, it is incredibly cowardly of him to just vanish like that.

It wouldn't kill him to send a text and put the girl out of her misery.

At the moment she is actually worrying about his well being, so whatever his motives, he owes her an explanation, in my opinion!

LegacyUser

Thats all i kinda ask at the moment, just for him to get in touch and to explain himself, and to see if he is okay. I think this is an awfull road to go down.

I would understand if he was a kid and didnt want some sort of relationship, but he is a 38 year old man- he aint no kid !!! , but he is acting like a child by his behaviour.

Yes i know i am probable over reacting, but im actually kinda heart broken that he has so little respect for me to act like this.

Stabshauptmann

little hurt wrote:

before anyone says anything, this is NOT a gent bashing

ive been seeing someone for three or so months, we ve been getting on grand, he went home to the country as he was not well for the weekend, he was due to be back today. we always talk or meet up every monday, but he hasnt been in touch, his phone is off. and he hasnt bothered his a*s telling me he wasnt coming back.
Why is it some people have so little respect for each other that they hurt people like that ?

You are completely over reacting.

If this happens a lot it would get on my nerves. Ppl taking their damn time replying to messages or returning calls or being late. These things are annoying. But if this is a first, then you are totally overreating.

If he sees you as the possesive type he wont like it and you'll be seeing a lot less of him

Megatron

little hurt wrote:

Yes i know i am probable over reacting, but im actually kinda heart broken that he has so little respect for me to act like this.

Your making assumptions without knowing all the facts.

Stop now before you drive yourself insaine.
A family memeber might be ill , or something who knows.
Just wait it out , it's all you can do , once he's back in contact then you can take it from there. No point in over thinking things , as it's only going to make this alot worse on yourself.

Hagar

It's only been a very short time, maybe the guy just feels so sick and miserable he just wants to be left alone to sleep for a day or two. I think you are being a bit clingy and selfish. He's the one sick not you. Give him a bit of sympathy or a bit of space.

I can't understand why people post a question and after a few posters try to be helpful they reject the possible solutions offered because there might be other factors affecting the situation that they neglected to mention and won't elaborate on. If you want us to guess the real question try the psychic forum.

Canis Lupus

Hagar wrote:

If you want us to guess the real question try the psychic forum.

Heh heh

not_sure

'little hurt' it sounds to me like your a really clingy chick and he is just a bit sick of ya at the moment. Give him a day or two and i guarntee ya he will text or ring ya but when he does you should do the same to him if you wanna keep him interested!! Otherwise he will just do it again, trust me

bandraoi

He is in bed sick
He is asleep
His phone is off so he doesn't get woken up

foggy

He went home on friday afternoon to go to his doctor, he got a sick cert for the week. His mammy won't let him go back up to the big bad city and his phone is now dead, didn't bring his charger with him and his parents don't own a mobile phone so they don't have a charger he can use.
Don't panic. He'll be back in Dublin soon enough, having been made better by his mammys home cooking and won't understand what all your fuss was about.
after all as you said, he's 38 not some child that can't take care of himself (although when he's sick he needs his mammy).
He managed for years before you came along, and if you keep up the clingy routine he'll manage long after you are gone.