Raw Feelings With Selfish People (finally finished)

Night_Rocker

Yep. I'm guessing not many care, but i finished Raw Feelings... So if you read it, please post your thouhts on it.

gracehopper

i think its pretty good, its very cruel and describes well the bizarre feelings someone can have in a time of mourning

Zillah

I liked it. In general the writing was competant, but it was pushed to "quite good" by the excellent raw feeling to it. I also felt somewhat humbled by the powerful emotions present (of the kind I have yet to experience thankfully).

For these reason I hate the ending however. Not what was included in the ending, but more how it was done. It was a bit too "hurrah happy days again". Also, it was kind of over explained. Its much better to show something than to tell something.

Overall it was a good piece, but I'd redo the whole ending. There's also a word missing in the second last paragraph

The Lamb

I particularly liked the bit where the old cop didnt know what was goin down, but the younger guy, whats his name? Frank. Whos a bit shady has a deal with the Thunder Squad gang.