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Raw Feelings With Selfish People (finally finished)

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  • 08-01-2006 10:51pm
    #1
    Night_Rocker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 69 ✭✭


    Yep. I'm guessing not many care, but i finished Raw Feelings... So if you read it, please post your thouhts on it.


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    #2
    gracehopper
    Registered Users Posts: 1,144 ✭✭✭gracehopper


    i think its pretty good, its very cruel and describes well the bizarre feelings someone can have in a time of mourning


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    #3
    Zillah
    Registered Users Posts: 17,371 ✭✭✭✭Zillah


    I liked it. In general the writing was competant, but it was pushed to "quite good" by the excellent raw feeling to it. I also felt somewhat humbled by the powerful emotions present (of the kind I have yet to experience thankfully).

    For these reason I hate the ending however. Not what was included in the ending, but more how it was done. It was a bit too "hurrah happy days again". Also, it was kind of over explained. Its much better to show something than to tell something.

    Overall it was a good piece, but I'd redo the whole ending. There's also a word missing in the second last paragraph :)


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    #4
    The Lamb
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14 ✭The Lamb


    I particularly liked the bit where the old cop didnt know what was goin down, but the younger guy, whats his name? Frank. Whos a bit shady has a deal with the Thunder Squad gang.


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