Irish sympathy

panda100

After attending many funerals over the last few years I got to thinking today about how Irish people like to express their sympathy.A couple of years back a friend of mine commited suicide i vowed to help this growing epidemic in Ireland so last year when I was down in Limerick I collected for the charity aware,which helps to fight depression.I was astounded by the amount of people I recognised from the removal and funeral who just walked by and didnt give anything to this charity,which could have saved the life of the boy whose condolences they gave to the family so sincerely four years previous.

Sometimes i just think that when a tragedy happens such as the navan schoolchildren bus crash last year-there is this huge outpouring of grief for the family and people saying'how awful' for a day or two and then thats it.Is this sort of mass sympathy from people who dont even know the victims good for the family in the longterm? When I lost my friend,it was just isolating when all the people who jump on the grief bandwagon went away.Its then you feel even more alone because you know you will never hear from these people agian and they were just giving their condolences not out of grief but due to a sense of duty and 'the right thing to do''.
I think this giving condolences out of a sense of duty instead of a genuine grief is quite an Irish thing to do,as in England and the U.S funerals are usually quite small and intimate.

jay-me

Anytime people come accross charities there is a cetain sense of fear and loathing in their minds and the people that passed you by probably didn't know what the charity was for never mind it helping people intent on death from killing themselves so don't judge them too harshly but try and make them more aware of it.

whiskeyman

It's not just an Irish phenonmeon. It's a global one.
I think princess Di proved that.

We are always touched by stories of tragedy and grief.
Even more so when it happens to someone we can relate to, or think we know (celebs / pop stars / sports stars).
Diana was a perfect example of this.
Just look at the US miners story last week.... yet up to 200 people died in a mud slide in Indonesia this week and it barely made the news.
Among other reasons, I believe it's because we couldn't relate as much to their poor standard of living.... but we could with the US miners.

this is probably best suited to humanities tbh.

Amazotheamazing

Depression, suicide, mental illness are difficult things for most Irish people to deal with. Did you ever hear the saying, "The Irish are born lonely", we just don't deal well with these issues. I think we're a pretty generous race when in comes to external problems like Tsunami or Africa but when it comes to things closer to home we don't really like it at all.

LovelyHurling

panda100 wrote:

.I was astounded by the amount of people I recognised from the removal and funeral who just walked by and didnt give anything to this charity,which could have saved the life of the boy whose condolences they gave to the family so sincerely four years previous.

Thats a fair point. But those same folks were at the funeral to offer their condolences to the family. Bit mean spirited not to give in an equally positive way when it came to the crunch, but thats poeple for ya. However, back their outpouring at the funeral - why do you think they were there?

After my grandad died last year, old man warm in his bed with all the family nothing sad, he had a really big turnout at his funeral. That meant a huge amount to all us, to know how people thought enough of him to take a day off work or travel from wherever just to pay their respects. All those people filing by shaking your hand and saying nice words makes you realize its not so bad after all and is very inspiring.

Funerals are really for the survivors of a tragedy the kind of which your friend suffered.

Sometimes i just think that when a tragedy happens such as the navan schoolchildren bus crash last year-there is this huge outpouring of grief for the family and people saying'how awful' for a day or two and then thats it

I dont think its fair to suggest that the locals are not still helping out. The TV cameras have gone of course, but you can be sure that in a small town like Navan that nobody has forgotten the families.

We're primarily talking rural Ireland here and rural Ireland is built on community. We should take a large turnout at a funeral as nothing more than what it in intended to be -a public show of support at a specific moment in time. If som of those people later fail to live up to that support, that's their loss.

MrSinn

I reckon that a lot of irish people just like funerals,a big day out for the lads.
On the other hand some people like to show support to the grieving family but as soon as they leave the funeral they soon forget all about it and go about their life

I speak for myself here but im sick of people collecting for charity on the streets no matter what the cause,i do make donations(small) to various different charities but never to people on the street!

Mr.Nice Guy

panda100 wrote:

Sometimes i just think that when a tragedy happens such as the navan schoolchildren bus crash last year-there is this huge outpouring of grief for the family and people saying'how awful' for a day or two and then thats it.Is this sort of mass sympathy from people who dont even know the victims good for the family in the longterm? When I lost my friend,it was just isolating when all the people who jump on the grief bandwagon went away.Its then you feel even more alone because you know you will never hear from these people agian and they were just giving their condolences not out of grief but due to a sense of duty and 'the right thing to do''.

How do you know it's a 'grief bandwagon' and that people gave their condolences out of a sense of duty? People grieve in many different ways. Just because people seem uncaring on the outside doesn't mean anything. They could be broken-hearted on the inside.

Life simply has to go on for people. I think it's wrong to attack the way people grieve when it is such a personal thing.

jellie

MrSinn wrote:

I reckon that a lot of irish people just like funerals,a big day out for the lads.

WHAT?

yes they are loads of fun.. :rolleyes:

MrSinn

sar84 wrote:

WHAT?

yes they are loads of fun.. :rolleyes:

I said that because i DO know some people that seem to be going to a funeral every time i talk to them and i DO know 1 particular person that only goes to funerals to get free food in the pub after

jellie

MrSinn wrote:

I said that because i DO know some people that seem to be going to a funeral every time i talk to them and i DO know 1 particular person that only goes to funerals to get free food in the pub after

hmm theyre some nice people you know

coolhandluke

Would i express my condolences to someone on their loss,of course i would.Would i then feel obliged to give money to some charity,nope.
Charities are just another business these days,most of the money never leaves the office.I feel no guilt whatsoever walking past collectors(on every street corner these days) getting people to sign up for direct debits(probably the biggest scam ever).
Why is there so many charities out there ?Why have we 10 different charities out in africa/asia all doing the same thing ?
Because there all making a good living out of it themselves,that's why.