telling the parents

LegacyUser

i at the moment have dropped out of college and dont have a clue how to tell the parents, Im in 2nd year and its just 2years wasted and my parents money, id say my mother is gonna cut my dick off..

dunno what to do, they will probably disown me!!

i have to tell them before the letter gets sent home, which gives me 2weeks around...

am fcukered

Beruthiel

do you have a good reason for dropping out?
a back up plan?

killswitch

just tell them...say ur sorry that u dissappointed them and offer to pay back the money they spent on ur college fees....utmost and formost....GET A JOB!!!

LegacyUser

i have a full time job atm and will have it for the future, but thats the point to the parents, its a plus as i wont be bumming about but there still gonna kill me:/ i dont know if i want to college next year either which they wont be too happy about, to be honest i just dont have a notion what i want to do, but i know for definate its not what im doing in college at the moment

um7y1h83ge06nx

When you tell them, try and have an idea of your future goals i.e. are you going to do a different course? Or an apprenticeship? Or getting a job etc. At least that way it's seems like you have things planned out.

happened to myself i didnt want to finish the course as was 100% i didnt want to do what it entailed
whatever you decide you have to go them and tell them after you have a valid plan
they wont be able to say anything then
they might be slightly pissed of but they cant knock a man with a plan

AngryBadger

Details in this case are a little scant, but it sounds like you didn't enjoy the course, and you're not eve sure college is what you want. Both perfectly valid points. Say that to them, tell them you want to work full time for a while, and then dcide what you want to do. Point out that you already have the points, and can go back if you choose to. You just don't feel ready for it at the moment

I would however also say that if you're bailing because you've been pricking about for the last two years, then, yeah, they will cut your dick off, but in that case all you can do is weather the storm, and accept that you're out of line.

biofreak

TBH, its your own life! You only get one shot at it, so you have to decide what you want to do with it. If you are sick of college and its not making you happy then dropping out is not the end of the world and your parents should be able to see this!

connundrum

coolsmileygirl wrote:

happened to myself i didnt want to finish the course as was 100% i didnt want to do what it entailed
whatever you decide you have to go them and tell them after you have a valid plan
they wont be able to say anything then
they might be slightly pissed of but they cant knock a man with a plan

Similar to me, I moved to Galway to do 6 months of a course I never wanted to do in the 1st place, I never went in and was getting crap grades (obviously). Took a while to build up the courage but I finally did, told the parents, moved home and got a full time job the next week.

Then I thought about what I really wanted to do, applied for the course and started the next year. Now I feel great about it. Best thing I ever did! You'll feel so much better about it.. but do have a think about it and let them know that you're making a plan for your life. Even if you don't stick to it, it makes them feel better about themselves in the short term.

Best o Luck

Miss Fluff

failure wrote:

i at the moment have dropped out of college and dont have a clue how to tell the parents,

Did you drop out or have you been kicked out? Is it due to failing exams/not enjoying your course? Have you discussed the possibility of deferring for a year or taking re-sits?

amazingemmet

Man you have it easy i had to tell my parents i was dropping out of college to go to clown school that didn't go down too well. Just remember its your life not theirs, if your not enjoying the course you were doing tell them, there's no point doing something you don't like as you'll only do it badly.
My advice would be save up some money go travelling and see how you feel when you come back. Remember there's plenty of time for college but only a short while to enjoy your youth

LegacyUser

If you wasted your parents money, pay it back. Seriously. I feel guilty enough taking anything from mine, and I go to college and work. They can't really complain if you pay everything back and explain why you left and what plans you have. Don't act like you just couldn't be bothered and have no back up plan.

Vangelis

If your mother cuts your dick off or does anything else to hurt you/patronise you etc SHE IS A BAD MOTHER. You are her child and deserve her support and comfort NO MATTER WHAT! Why would she get mad anyway? Did she force you into college? Did she have dreams about you becoming a "great doctor" or something?

Arrrghhhh, such parents make me pewk!!! :mad: Hope none of the last things are true.

White Rabbit

Dude I'm 25 and in 2nd year in UCD.

If your parents are anything like mine then they'll bank roll you if you decide to go back to college in september (perhaps another course may be in order).

Sure they'll be pissed off for a bit but come at them with a plan, then ask their opinions and very soon they calm down.

derek27

maybe college isn't where you want to be at the moment. i didn't start going to coll til i turned 25. that was the right time for me. before that i had been working full time in the same job for 9 years (gets pretty boring). nonetheless, it meant that when i finally went to college, money was never gonna be an issue for me while i was there, because i had to opportunity to save a lot. one thing i will say however, is if you choose to forego college for now, certainly keep up to date on something that interests you, with the view to perhaps taking it up onan academic level a bit down the road. before i went to coll, i was interested in the life sciences... so i used to read quite a few science magazines, and frequently read books on specific areas of science. so when i went to college at 25 i was very well prepared for the course i chose. whatever else, dont go claiming the dole. make it your priority to get a job asap if you're not going to study. and dont class yourself as a failure because you didn't make it through college this time around.many people dont make it through, but the door is never closed. only person that truly is a failure is the person that never even bothered to try.

Victor

Have you talked things over with your tutor / course head? And the college support services / counsellor?

Unrgrstd2006 wrote:

If you wasted your parents money, pay it back. Seriously. I feel guilty enough taking anything from mine, and I go to college and work. They can't really complain if you pay everything back and explain why you left and what plans you have. Don't act like you just couldn't be bothered and have no back up plan.

Sometimes, we should allow our parents, be parents.*

* Flip side is parents need to accept their children are now adults.

chump

failure wrote:

id say my mother is gonna cut my dick off..

I got a laff out of that anyway, so you're not a complete failure...

On a serious note, just take the pain... it will pass (the pain of good bollicking that is)

Hagar

Tell your parents the truth. Whatever your reason for dropping out, tell them straight. Yes they will go apesh1t, big time, but at least at the end of the day they will have respect for your ability to take responsibilty for your own decisions. After they calm down that is.

Feed them a load of lies and you just become a liar. Nobody respects a liar.

failure

failure wrote:

i have a full time job atm and will have it for the future, but thats the point to the parents, its a plus as i wont be bumming about but there still gonna kill me:/ i dont know if i want to college next year either which they wont be too happy about, to be honest i just dont have a notion what i want to do, but i know for definate its not what im doing in college at the moment

Tell them that you can go back to college in 10 years time or five or two and that you will be paying for it yourself then.
Tell it to them matter of factly.
It's not something you are going to be shunned for,its you standing up and making a decision for which you either pay the price or reap the reward.
Deciding that you shouldnt be doing something that you dont want to do ( and just for the sake of it ) is success not failure.

LegacyUser

Sometimes, we should allow our parents, be parents.

What does that mean? If he took money for a course he dropped out of, he should pay it back. No-one should be forced to do a course they don't wanna do, but that's not his parents fault. He chose it. He's obviously worried about his parents reaction to the financial side, so paying it back is a responsible thing to do, and they won't nag as much. I know, my brother quit college for a stupid reason, never explained why, or what he wanted to do, or paid any money back and my parents are furious. Don't do this. If the truth is that you couldn't be bothered going to lectures, don't say that if you hope to ever go to college again.

leeroybrown

When you say that you have dropped out of college do you mean that you've officially told them that you are leaving or that you've just stopped attending? If it's the latter make sure that you go in and meet your course coordinator to leave officially. That will mean that you'll waste less of those precious free fees and can leave yourself an option to defer the year and go back in September. Even if you're almost 100% sure that you won't go back deferring will give you some extra time to assess your options and will allow you to break it to your parents more gently. "I've decided to defer the rest of the year to allow me to make a proper decison" sounds better than "I've dropped out and will figure out something".

Also, it may be worthwhile spending a while thinking about some options soon as you don't want to be in a situation where you miss the boat for a particular application procedure for a college course, training scheme, etc.

Also, I'll point you back up to what 'connundrum' said. There is very little more stressful than being stuck doing something you find boring and see yourself with no future at.

Dave!

Hey, just wanted to bump this to see how the OP got on... I've been unsure of whether I want to stay in college or not, so this thread is a nice read!

BTW, why didn't you talk it over with your parents before you actually dropped out?! My sister did the same thing -- dropped out, told me, my brother, my other brother, and eventually my parents found out and nearly killed her!

I'm gonna take the smarter route, if I do decide to drop out

So how'd you get on anyway?

LovelyHurling

Your folks wont want you to do a course you're not happy in. That would probably result in your life taking a route you're not happy with, affect your career prospects and hinder your relationship with them. Parents are clever people... clever people who dont want to end up in a nursing home, as I like to remind them!!

I didnt really quit college exactly, but had a similar-ish situation. I got into RCSI after school, doing what my parents really wanted me to do but as soon as I got the offer on the late CAO rounds (this was almost 7 weeks after enrolment), I moved to a different course in UCD, one that they weren't happy with me being in at the time but one I knew Id love. I didnt even tell them until it was too late.

Much to my surprise (RCSI was fee paying then... they lost a bit of money!) the only thing they were mad about was that I hadnt told them earlier. Believe me they only want to see you happy, theyll understand!

LegacyUser

My sister dropped out during her second year in college. The course she was doing probably wasn't even her fifth choice. She wanted to do some kind of fashion course but they put a lot of pressure on her to do the course she would eventually drop out of, as a sort of keeping up with the Joneses. I really felt for my sister and stuck up for, but my parents are quite closed minded and 4 months on are still furious with her, in spite of it being their own fault that she was doing a course she had no ambition to finish.

LegacyUser

Im seriously thinking about dropping out too but havent the guts to tell the folks. Im in the 2nd year of a 2 year course. Havent really been going in and am way behind with the work.It wouldnt be too bad if I had some sort of plan for the future but I dont at the moment so I dont really wanna tell the folks. I paid all the fees myself so thats not a problem, its just hte fact that ill be dropping out to do nothing thats going to really p!ss them off. Would like to know what the OP is at at the moment.

AngryBadger

sameboatguy wrote:

Im in the 2nd year of a 2 year course. Havent really been going in and am way behind with the work.

....would YOU not just finish the course. At least then you'll have whatever the qualification is. I mean if you're in the second year, then you must be halfway through the second year by now, so why not just finish it. Knuckle under for a few months, when it's done you'll find you have a fresh take on everything.

X-SL

chump wrote:

I got a laff out of that anyway, so you're not a complete failure...

so did I. I laughed for ages actually.