Out of my league ?

LegacyUser

Ok i have been going out with a girl for about a week
she is great n all that and i would never have went near her only i was drunk as she really and truely is out of my league
now the thing is i am allready feeling pressure of keeping her interested
for example tonite i made a complete panic attack out of asking her to the cinema
dont really know what i am expecting in the way of help here just probably needed somewhere to vent
anyone been in the same situation?
we are both in our early 20s and the fact i have been hurt in the past makes me edgy i guess

Vorsprung

She wouldn't be going out with you if she didn't fancy you. Just go with the flow! Good luck

Mikros

Hey, you’ve only been going out a week. It’s early days yet. Getting panicked and thinking your not “in her league” is only going to lose you her. Your 20 something, not in school anymore. Be yourself. She went out with you once so she must think there is some potential. Keep that in mind. Did she say yes to going out to the cinema?

Bottom line, relax. Try not to let your past affect how your future plays with this girl. They have nothing to do with each other.

Best of luck.

cheekyass

Shes obviously with you for a reason!

Take it easy and relax, whatever happens happens. If it doesn't work out it doesn't work out....its not ment to be, move on and an remember you pulled a really hot girl!

If it works out thats great, dont try to be someone else to keep her interest. Be who you are and let her like you for who you really are!
Its still very very early days.Be confident, panicking and worrying might only drive her away. :eek:

Good Luck!

tman

cheekyass wrote:

Take it easy and relax, whatever happens happens. If it doesn't work out it doesn't work out....its not ment to be, move on and an remember you pulled a really hot girl!

absolutely spot on piece of advice there.
tis almost exactly my ethos

[Jackass]

Man just get past the looks thing, honestly, i know she's hot and all, but once you're pulling, take that out of the equation, you've passed that test, so enjoy the fact you're pulling a hot girl & you're already in...now all you've got to do is play cool, concentrate on your chat and getting to know her..don't worry about keeping her interested, you'll come across desperate, needy or like a twat. Close your eyes and imagine she's a minger...then you'd have the confidence to be yoursef without fear of rejection...pretty ****ed up advice, i know, but it's true...human nature and what have you...

The_B_Man

nope, ur gonna lose her soon! just accept it and enjoy it while it lasts! just take it easy! not much point in gettin stressed out! simple!

FlutterinBantam

If you keep running yourself down you will certainly lose her

Confidence,looks and most of all ,plenty of money are the ways to keep them interested.... you have two of those havn't you?

White Knight

Eeek wrote:

Ok i have been going out with a girl for about a week
she is great n all that and i would never have went near her only i was drunk as she really and truely is out of my league
now the thing is i am allready feeling pressure of keeping her interested
for example tonite i made a complete panic attack out of asking her to the cinema
dont really know what i am expecting in the way of help here just probably needed somewhere to vent
anyone been in the same situation?
we are both in our early 20s and the fact i have been hurt in the past makes me edgy i guess

I know what you mean. Exact same thing happened me a couple years back. On a whim asked her out, sober thankfully .. she said yes and we ended up going out for 2 months and the whole time i was thinking "what the feck does she see in me!?". Ended up messing it up because of being paranoid. Found out after (gotta love hindsight) that she liked me for me!

someone said to me the other day "expectation=disaster" and i ended up heading out the other night for a drink with a girl and tbh had a great time because there was no expectation at all ... just go with the flow .. if someone does not like you it will be obvious! if the say yes to a date drunken or not, means they like you .. if they say yes again its not outta pity or anything else other than they actualy like your company. how many billions of people are out there? if u like one and they dont like you back c'est la vie you tried and failed, but you still got that billion pool to try again from!

right im wrecked .. bed ... let us know how it goes and remember No expectations no let downs .. just go with it

panda100

i hate it when guys use those four little words 'out of my league'!Dont be silly!there is no different leagues its all in your head.Just really really try and relax with her as she definatly wouldnt have chattted to you or gone on a date with you if she wasnt intrested.And dont work to hard to try and keep her entertained cos you think you have to-just relax and be yourself!

Airblazer

panda100 wrote:

i hate it when guys use those four little words 'out of my league'!Dont be silly!there is no different leagues its all in your head.Just really really try and relax with her as she definatly wouldnt have chattted to you or gone on a date with you if she wasnt intrested.And dont work to hard to try and keep her entertained cos you think you have to-just relax and be yourself!

well said..the more relaxed the op is the more entertaining he'll be for her

bug

what do you mean out of your league? There are no leagues.

go off and slap yourself real hard for thinking that in the first place.

[Jackass]

panda100 wrote:

i hate it when guys use those four little words 'out of my league'!Dont be silly!there is no different leagues its all in your head.

bug wrote:

what do you mean out of your league? There are no leagues.

Well...let's not patranise the dude here...'cause there are....

Picture a 40 stone, acne ridden 47 year old with serious dermetogical and scalp diseases ...oh, and let's throw in some halitosis too...

Now this guy's a lovely lad! Between helping out in the homeless shelter and building the orphenage, he does stand up comedy in a major night club in town and brings the house down every night!

He's funny, kind, blah, blah...

Not many girls (especially beautiful women who can have a simular guy who's a stud)would be able to get past this guys looks...they can't stop thinking, despite the great qualities, they could do better...physically...she's just out of his league!

An extreme case, granted, but narrow that angle, there's still a leauge there where physical attraction is the primary requirement to get your foot in the door...after that, it's all personality...

MY POINT BEING origional poster...you've already got your foot in the door, like i said, you passed that test, now it's ALL about personality, don't worry about your perception of not being good ebough cause you're a shoe in dude!

Relax and enjoy yourself, all you've got to do is keep getting along with the girl...and that hasent seemed to be too much of a problem so far!

hullaballoo

Ideally, just play it cool for the next while, pretend like you're the one she should be fussing over.

Ask her out, but let her do some of the organising too. It's no good just chasing after her the whole time etc.

I'd give her plenty of time to settle into it. Make her feel like she needs to impress you.

I don't like the way you feel like she's in some way superior to you, I suppose it's a result of you having been hurt at some stage etc. Try to turn the tables in some way. I'm actually after coming out of a relationship with a girl who I initially thought was far too good for me, and only after a few years did I realise that we were really equals.

LegacyUser

there are no leagues?

Amazotheamazing

I wonder do guys and girls see this differently, as a guy, I know there's several different leagues, for guys looks are usually the determinant of what league the girl will be in. Do girls have a similar league for guys depending on confidence, looks, sense of humour, etc? (I could pretend I'm not shallow, but it'd you'd work it out, probably when I'm checking you out)

To the OP, girls generally look for different things in a guy, but namely, you've got to like yourself and have confidence in yourself. At the same time, I've been told I'm too confident and that some girls prefer a hint of insecurity, naturally I confidently missed this advice as rubbish

bug

wtf? wrote:

there are no leagues?

well. I never thought there was.

I just thought that was something some bloke said in a club one night to his mate cos they were possibly eyeing up the same bird.

If you think about it, its a statement thats proved wrong everytime you walk down a street. You see couples that look totally different.

I get the initial attraction thing. But unless your shallow hal the notion of leagues is soon out the window after the first date/kiss/shag, that is if it goes any further.

The OP's had a few dates/meetings it seems. So the league thing is out the window, isnt it?

ven0m

Eeek wrote:

Ok i have been going out with a girl for about a week
she is great n all that and i would never have went near her only i was drunk as she really and truely is out of my league
now the thing is i am allready feeling pressure of keeping her interested
for example tonite i made a complete panic attack out of asking her to the cinema
dont really know what i am expecting in the way of help here just probably needed somewhere to vent
anyone been in the same situation?
we are both in our early 20s and the fact i have been hurt in the past makes me edgy i guess

NO SUCH THING AS 'OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE' - gettit? gottit? good!

Now relax & enjoy it!!!


::: ven0mous :::

Nimrod's Son

You've done the hard part, Eeek, so just roll with the punches and you'll be grand. Try to show her a good time. Little acorns, big oaks and all that jazz!

LegacyUser

Man, if she's hot, you should try to get a ride out of her before she dumps you. Good luck!

Victor

Dude its not even half time. You are one-nil up.

You are winning.

Carpenter

Eeek wrote:

Ok i have been going out with a girl for about a week
she is great n all that and i would never have went near her only i was drunk as she really and truely is out of my league
now the thing is i am allready feeling pressure of keeping her interested
for example tonite i made a complete panic attack out of asking her to the cinema
dont really know what i am expecting in the way of help here just probably needed somewhere to vent
anyone been in the same situation?
we are both in our early 20s and the fact i have been hurt in the past makes me edgy i guess

Man relax i was in a club 1 night and seen this beauty same as you full of drink (well a good few on me)
Asked her out and she said yes for the first 2 weeks i did not know what to talk about making up stuff never thought i would be with her more than a month on the 10th of this month we are married 19 years and i thought she was ot of my league to SO RELAX

EvilPixieOne

As was said previously there are leagues and for guys this seems to be based primarily on a girls looks, but most girls like to be won over, and personality is a big factor when judging guys, because a girl is usually not the one to make the first move. When a guy is looking for someone to chat up he will usually pick based on looks, appearence etc, whereas a girl waits to see who chats her up, and how well they come across, how easygoing and confident they are. She obviously likes you so loosen up and good luck!