Teach your wife to play poker

NickyOD

From 2+2. Thank **** I'm single.

http://www.twoplustwo.com/magazine/current/schaub1205.html



"Honey, don't you think it'd be fun if I taught you how to play poker?"

"Not really."

"I thought it would be nice if we could play together when we're on our trip to Vegas."

"You know I think card games are boring."

"Poker is anything but boring."

"Come on, hon. I've seen those guys you watch on TV. If they didn't scratch themselves occasionally, I'd think they were asleep or dead. It's boring."

"But it would be fun on our trip to Vegas ...."

"I'm not flying all the way to Las Vegas to sit at a table and watch nine guys stare at each other for hours on end."

"Why not? It beats watching some Canadian circus freaks dive into a swimming pool."

"Don't even start with that complaining again. You're taking me to see O."

"I'd complain a lot less if it wasn't 1200 bucks a ticket."

"Stop exaggerating. Besides, you are the big online poker winner. You should be able to afford it."

"You know I play low limits. Besides, that's my poker bankroll. It's not for new-age circuses."

"Well, judging by the way you were prancing around the house after you won a $5 tournament last night, I'd think money was no object."

"You don't understand. I was all-in with bottom set heads up. He called me with top set, but then I hit my 1-outer for quads on the river. It was awesome."

"Whatever. What'd you win, 25 bucks?"

"Yeah, well, it's about the competition."

"You could have made the same amount of money by not buying that stupid shirt."

"What shirt?"

"The one with the big boat on it that says SHIP IT."

"I like that shirt."

"I know you do."

"I love that shirt."

"Yeah, I know."

"You don't like it?"

"It's great. Just don't wear it around our friends, ok?"

"Listen, do you want me to teach you poker or not?"

"I think we covered that."

"Just thought it might be fun ...."

"Okay, I give in, but make it fast. I've only got ten minutes till Desperate Housewives."

"Okay, we can at least get started. Take twenty of these blue chips."

"Can't we use the red chips?"

"It doesn't matter. This is just for practice."

"I like red better."

"The blue will do for now. Okay, I'm gonna deal us each two cards."

"You know blue is my worst color."

"Okay, you know what? Give me the chips. Hold on. Here. Here's twenty red chips. Okay now? I'm gonna deal you two cards."

"Eight minutes till Desperate Housewives."

"Okay, fine. Let's see your two cards."

"I'm not showing you my cards."

"This is just practice. We'll go through a hand together."

"I just don't see the point of playing if I'm going to show you my cards."

"This isn't a real game. You can show me your cards."

"Show me your cards, then."

"Okay, I will. Here you go. I've got a 10 of clubs and a 3 of diamonds."

"I'm in for twenty reds."

"Stop goofing around."

"I'm not goofing around. I'm learning poker. Are you going to call my bet?"

"OK, fine, I call. Flip your cards over."

"I told you I'm not showing you my cards."

"We're both all-in. You can show your cards now."

"OK. I've got two Jacks."

"Nice hand."

"I win."

"Hold on. We've still got the flop, turn, and river."

"The what? You're making this up as you go along, aren't you?"

"No, this is how the game is played."

"OK, card shark, deal. I'm still winning."

"Here goes. First three cards are the flop. Then the fourth is the turn. Now, the last is the river. OK, I've got ..."

"A 10 of clubs and a 3 of diamonds."

"Ten high. Right. And you've got ..."

"Two Jacks."

"A pair of Jacks. Right."

"Just like I said. I win."

"You win."

"This game is easy. But it's still boring."

"Let's try another hand. Give me my twenty chips back."

"No way, you lost. You're gonna have to win them back."

"This is just for fun."

"Really? So when does the "fun" part come in?"

"I'm starting to wonder that myself."

"You know, you really shouldn't call a big bet with a 10 and a 3."

"Yeah, I know."

"You might need some more practice. Maybe after Desperate Housewives is over, I'll give you a few lessons."

Dub13

Lol

RasTa

lol very good

OY

Very nice! Sounds somewhat familiar too...

Tourneque

Lol :d