Society can want all she likes

lilmissprincess · 20-12-2005 10:02pm #1

I don't really care what they think of me
What society wants I don't really need
I've never fitted in, so why start now?

They tell me I'm wrong, I say i'm right
Well, I should know my own truth, shouldn't I?
What do they know of my life?

This is the anger that sears through my flesh
Every day, every hour, every second
And you just laugh in my face

I felt I needed you back then
I cried out into the dark for you
To no answer

Shows who you are
What you are
So much for my happy ending huh?

God knows where this came out of...

ctrl-alt-delete · 21-12-2005 12:19am

lilmissprincess wrote:

God knows where this came out of...

doesn't take a genius to work that out

unfortunetly i think its of the same quality as what inspired what inspired it.

Vangelis · 21-12-2005 1:54pm

I feel that it's very down-to-earth without any superfluous elaborations.
That kind of poetry is good to read once in a while! Ay lyke it!

lilmissprincess · 21-12-2005 8:08pm

Aw shucks...so, what do you think inspired it ctrl-alt-delete???

Outcast · 22-12-2005 4:53pm

I think it's just a teenage rant

lilmissprincess · 22-12-2005 8:51pm

It is. Thats the general point. Society likes people who sit back and say Yes sir, no sir , three bags full sir. I don't fit in like that. General point.

ctrl-alt-delete · 22-12-2005 9:20pm

lilmissprincess wrote:

It is. Thats the general point. Society likes people who sit back and say Yes sir, no sir , three bags full sir. I don't fit in like that. General point.

i think it may have been inspired by what was said in response to another of your poems, correct me if im wrong. but it fits anyway.

*adele* · 22-12-2005 10:15pm

I think its a good poem..just does kinda seem very "I R teh DIFFERENT!!"

Outcast · 22-12-2005 11:08pm

lilmissprincess wrote:

It is. Thats the general point. Society likes people who sit back and say Yes sir, no sir , three bags full sir. I don't fit in like that. General point.

Are you sure?

JenLorigan · 23-12-2005 10:13am

I can't say I like it, but then it's very hard to write a poem about 'not fitting in' without it coming across as self-indulgent whining.

lilmissprincess · 23-12-2005 8:00pm

Yeah, ok, I didn't say everyone had to like it. Its just me. And what poem criticism were you referring to?

Nidge · 28-12-2005 10:50pm

lilmissprincess wrote:

So much for my happy ending huh?

God knows where this came out of...

Well I don't know where the rest of it came from, but that last line is a lyric from an avril lavigne song, except for the inspired "huh?" of course. The rest of it sounds like it could've been from any emo song, or Linkin Park maybe.

lilmissprincess · 29-12-2005 7:02pm

Yeah, thats where the last line is from. The huh just seemed to go with it.

Shad0r · 31-12-2005 3:03pm

Didnt like it. Reads more like a self indulgent whine written in five minutes than a poem to me.

Nidge · 31-12-2005 7:22pm

Yeah well in general I find that people claiming they are different to everyone else is very arrogant. If there are approximately six billion people in the world how in god's name can you be sure there isn't one person or even an enormous group of people who walk, talk and act like you, and probably think in the exact same way? Unless you are an absolute genius like Albert Einstein or Stephen Hawking it's unlikely that you have ever done or thought something that your average joe couldn't have. I suppose as a teenager being classed is frustrating and the anger blinds them from the truth of the matter, blocks all logic. Hard to know.

Blush_01 · 01-01-2006 4:44am

It seems a little self-indulgent and immature. As Nidge said, there are thousands of almost everyone out there. Just as a brief generalisation, the majority of those who would listen to Avril Lavigne and her ilk while of your age-group are prone to those sentiments expressed in your poem. Ironic? I really do think so.

megameaty · 01-01-2006 10:38pm

I think its very unoriginal but i guess you are 14. Most 14 year olds don't think they fit in. This whole 'people are different' discussion reminds me of a a scene in Monty Python's 'The Life of Brian'.....

BRIAN: Look you've got it all wrong. You don't need to follow me. You don't need to follow anybody! You've got to think for yourselves. You're all individuals!

FOLLOWERS (in unison): Yes, we're all individuals!

BRIAN: You're all different!

FOLLOWERS (in unison): Yes, we are all different!

DENNIS: I'm not.

..........Classic.

lilmissprincess · 02-01-2006 8:42pm

I have wanted to see that for ages.....and ok, thanks.

Mr.Nice Guy · 03-01-2006 10:49pm

lilmissprincess wrote:

I don't really care what they think of me
What society wants I don't really need
I've never fitted in, so why start now?

They tell me I'm wrong, I say i'm right
Well, I should know my own truth, shouldn't I?
What do they know of my life?

This is the anger that sears through my flesh
Every day, every hour, every second
And you just laugh in my face

I felt I needed you back then
I cried out into the dark for you
To no answer

Shows who you are
What you are
So much for my happy ending huh?

God knows where this came out of...

Someone tell Avril Lavigne about this blatant act of plagiarism!

lilmissprincess · 03-01-2006 11:15pm

Its one line and I added the huh.

hullaballoo · 03-01-2006 11:43pm

megameaty wrote:

BRIAN: Look you've got it all wrong. You don't need to follow me. You don't need to follow anybody! You've got to think for yourselves. You're all individuals!

FOLLOWERS (in unison): Yes, we're all individuals!

BRIAN: You're all different!

FOLLOWERS (in unison): Yes, we are all different!

DENNIS: I'm not.

"What 'ave the Romans eva done for us?"

I thought the poem was more of a narration of a conversation than a piece of poetry. Try to entreat some emotion via imagery and language tools. Too many times do people forget that there is a very technical side to the art of poetry. Look at the language instruments used in the poetry you learn in school, and try to ape some of that.

Orange Elephant · 05-01-2006 4:57pm

After reading your "poem", I strongly felt that it was lacking in substance, structure, and ability to enthral. It's not exactly a poem, more of a random assortment of words, (but not a poem).

usually I would feel quite against criticising a young poet, but after reading the first line I felt free to express my concerns.

lilmissprincess wrote:

I don't really care what they think of me

For example, you said

lilmissprincess wrote:

They tell me I'm wrong, I say i'm right

I honestly believe that you were infact wrong, don't you think:rolleyes:

Robbiethe3rd · 05-01-2006 5:23pm

Now THAT guy's a poet. (orange elephant that is, not lilmissprincess, he wasn't very good:mad: )

lilmissprincess · 08-01-2006 7:49pm

You calling me a HE??

Robbiethe3rd · 08-01-2006 8:32pm

Yes.. but, what are you getting at?

I have a question for yee lilmissprincess
Why would you write about a woman if you already are one???
Hmmmm???:mad:

I mean what were you thinking???!!!:( :mad:

:mad:

Liked the poem though, even if it was a bit bad:rolleyes:

but you are a he really?

lilmissprincess · 09-01-2006 4:51pm

No!!! Note the lilMISSprincess. And, write what ya know.

Robbiethe3rd · 10-01-2006 4:54pm

Listen, lilmissprincess, sir ,miss, whatever you are

You're quite a guy!

*this user has been banned, everyone will kindly read the charter or fall with him*

lilmissprincess · 11-01-2006 10:29am

And you have a twisted mind. Now, if ya don't mind, comments on the poetry go here. Comments on me go on my thread in the cuckoos nest/ a thread you create in thunderdome.

BEAT · 12-01-2006 7:06pm

i REALLY cant tell you how tired I am of having to lock all of your threads littlemiss,
I think perhaps you need a break from this place.
Take a week off.