Gun jokes -abit of fun

scout

Looking for a bit of a laugh have any funny stories jokes etc...

TOP 10 REASONS WHY SOME MEN FAVOR HANDGUNS OVER WOMEN.,

#10 - YOU CAN TRADE AN OLD 44 FOR A NEW 22.
#9 - YOU CAN KEEP ONE HANDGUN AT HOME, AND HAVE ANOTHER FOR WHEN YOU'RE ON THE ROAD.
#8 - IF YOU ADMIRE A FRIEND'S HANDGUN, AND TELL HIM SO, HE WILL PROBABLY LET YOU TRY IT OUT A FEW TIMES.
#7 - YOUR PRIMARY HANDGUN DOESN'T MIND IF YOU KEEP ANOTHER HANDGUN FOR A BACK UP.
#6 - YOUR HANDGUN WILL STAY WITH YOU EVEN IF YOU RUN OUT OF AMMO. #5 - A HANDGUN DOESN'T TAKE UP A LOT OF CLOSET SPACE.
#4 - HANDGUNS FUNCTION NORMALLY EVERY DAY OF THE MONTH. #3 - A HANDGUN DOESN'T ASK, "DO THESE NEW GRIPS MAKE ME LOOK FAT? #2 - A HANDGUN DOESN'T MIND IF YOU GO TO SLEEP AFTER YOU USE IT. And, the number one reason a handgun is favored over a woman... #1 - YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A HANDGUN !!! "

cichlid child

v.good better in humour forum

Riggser

Better in the "Women in Sport" thread.

LB6

Didn't appreciate it! That attitude won't help anyone!

Vegeta

LB6 wrote:

Didn't appreciate it! That attitude won't help anyone!

wow nice to see you can take a joke anyway :rolleyes:

LB6

Vegeta,

Anyone who knows me, knows that I can well take a joke. I was quite serious tho when I had the thread on "other halves" and Sparks "Women In Sport". I wouldn't like to have a mockery made of this issue. It is quite serious and needs to be addressed urgently. As I said already "Jokes" like this don't help only hinder.

BTW. What's your stance on this? Noticed you didn't submit any comments in either thread!

S.

Sparks

Vegeta, last time I checked, our sport had an average profile of a shooter that was a 49-year-old male. If we want the sport to survive in the long-term, that must change. So if that means not making god-awful jokes which were pretty much only funny the first time (ie. when we were twelve), I don't think it's much of a sacrifice. Besides, the "you can't take a joke" defence wouldn't work if you wandered up to someone with dark skin and called them a rude word beginning with 'N', so why should it work on someone with a different gender?

And by the way, last time I checked, the best shooters in the world for shooting standing (which, let's face it, is the "real" shooting position ), were all women. And the best shooter in the olympic air rifle discipline in Ireland is female, and over the past decade or two, the national air rifle champion has been a woman for all bar two or three years. So I'd check I was outshooting them before I made jokes about them - having your arse handed to you in competition by a little girl can't be fun

chem

Just one point on female shooters.......most of the top snipers in the russian army were all female during WW2. And we want to introduce more to the sport:eek:

Only joking. I try to get an ex of mine into shooting. All was going well untill i took her out lurching one day. My mate let the dog go and it was chaceing the hair. When it was closing in the ex started shouting at me to "SHOOT THE DOG" this out burst didnt earn me any man points with the mates!

Chopperdog

Sparks wrote:

Vegeta, last time I checked, our sport had an average profile of a shooter that was a 49-year-old male.

Sorry, I dont want to hi-jack this thread, Sparks, any chance of postiing the full general profile of the Irish shooter on another thread. Curiosity has got the better of me.....;)

Sparks

We don't have a general profile CD, just the age from a Parlimentary Question and the gender from observation of the sport (with the exception of air rifle, it's pretty much an old man's game in the Republic ).

Vegeta

Sparks wrote:

Vegeta, last time I checked, our sport had an average profile of a shooter that was a 49-year-old male. If we want the sport to survive in the long-term, that must change. So if that means not making god-awful jokes which were pretty much only funny the first time (ie. when we were twelve), I don't think it's much of a sacrifice. Besides, the "you can't take a joke" defence wouldn't work if you wandered up to someone with dark skin and called them a rude word beginning with 'N', so why should it work on someone with a different gender?

And by the way, last time I checked, the best shooters in the world for shooting standing (which, let's face it, is the "real" shooting position ), were all women. And the best shooter in the olympic air rifle discipline in Ireland is female, and over the past decade or two, the national air rifle champion has been a woman for all bar two or three years. So I'd check I was outshooting them before I made jokes about them - having your arse handed to you in competition by a little girl can't be fun

As I am well aware females are fine markswomen. This I think only makes the joke funnier, there are hundreds of women out there who are better than me. When I was kickboxing my female friends in class could hammer me.

I have tried several times to bring my girlfriend shooting (i even told her i'd buy her pink wellies) she has never shown any interest. I am all for women in every sport but not the ones who cant take a joke.

LB6

"there are hundreds of women out there who are better than me"
Probably more!

"she has never shown any interest"
That's her perogative. At least you asked her to go. Thank you.

"i even told her i'd buy her pink wellies"
Just goes to prove a point - women don't want to be treated in this sarcastic manner.

"I am all for women in every sport but not the ones who cant take a joke."
My sport is not a joking matter. I take it very seriously. Maybe someday you will!

Vegeta

LB6 wrote:

"there are hundreds of women out there who are better than me"
Probably more!

"she has never shown any interest"
That's her perogative. At least you asked her to go. Thank you.

"i even told her i'd buy her pink wellies"
Just goes to prove a point - women don't want to be treated in this sarcastic manner.

"I am all for women in every sport but not the ones who cant take a joke."
My sport is not a joking matter. I take it very seriously. Maybe someday you will!

The OPs joke is in no way mocking women in shooting as a sport it is playing on the stereotypical traits that some women portray. Where did I imply that shooting in any form was not serious.

you say above that this sort of thing will hinder the sport. In what way? Men slag women, women slag men its a fact of life. I cant see how this would hinder the development of any sport for both sexes. In a violent male orientated sport like kick boxing the women in my class outnumbered men by 3 to 1.

Every one of my female friends has been invited shooting either clay or target. The fact of the matter is that a small percentage of females want to go shooting in the first place.

I wasn't being sarcastic when I told my girlfriend I'd buy her pink wellies I was being serious as she wanted them.

Are you of the opinion that its the attitude of men that cause women not to shoot???

scout

sorry it was not my intention to start a "THAT IS SEXIST" row it was just ment as a bit of light humour and nowhere in the joke did it say wemon can't shoot
that is just a misinterpritation founded by your own experiences ,not that wemon can't shoot that men think they cant...:(

Riggser

LB6 wrote:

I was quite serious tho when I had the thread on "other halves" and Sparks "Women In Sport". I wouldn't like to have a mockery made of this issue. It is quite serious and needs to be addressed urgently. As I said already "Jokes" like this don't help only hinder.
S.

LB6
This is were you are going wrong, you're being serious. Yes there are serious topics on boards.ie but the thread is called Gun jokes - A BIT OF FUN. It's not to be taken seriously. But in this instance you've been offended so if I were you I'd start another serious thread and leave the fun threads, like this one, alone.

Chipboard

Very good Scout.

I've seen humourous moments diffuse the tension in the middle of the world final of some very serious sports so a little on these boards is badly needed.

Don't like to see anyone taking themselves too seriously.

LB6

There's been enough sniping on boards in the last months, hence the reason I've no intention of contributing further to this thread.

However, in the interests of harmony, I would like to take this opportunity to wish all shooters a very Happy Christmas and a Peaceful New Year.

See you on a range somewhere soon!

S.

Riggser

LB6 wrote:

There's been enough sniping on boards in the last months, hence the reason I've no intention of contributing further to this thread.

If you can't stand the heat.......

scout

A good change no sexism
:eek: http://www.mytargets.com/downloads/woodpecker.avi

Riggser

nice to see the thread back on topic

Clare gunner

So I suppose the old one about the name of the Irish sniper is now totally un PC and will offend all and sundry???

Rick O Shea!