Poem: Unwanted Carnal Pleasure

HST

Sitting here in my darkened room listening to the depression from downstairs.
Screams and shouts driving me further into the recesses of my emotional corners.
Water beginning to run from the tap, emotionally fragile but hide it under a mist of aggression.
Screams and shouts transform into punches thrown with chairs through the air along for the ride.

Often wished I hadn’t stayed here to listen to the crap from downstairs, which stumbles up into next door, fun which wasn’t wanted by one of the two participants goes ahead with a never ending chorus of screams and pleas for help. Knowing I can’t do anything I sit back and force myself to listen so I won’t turn out like him.

Then it all quietens to a few unstable sobs.

Homicidal thoughts for him cross my mind every waking hour.
New more painful ways of committing it arise from my mind every day.
All anger directed at him and him alone but am too small to enforce anything.
One day I vow I will take the vengeance that I deserve.

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Feed back appreciated.

ctrl-alt-delete

its very very emotional, you didnt have to name it and i think its still extremely obvious what it is about - its great that poetry gives you at least some way to release some of your anger, its very powerfull but if true i think the feelings of hatred fueling future violence could be best left as words,

i dont think im qualified poetically or psychologically to comment any further

HST

Thankfully it's not something I have to endure. I live in a nice happy household. I heard a story that was something like that, it inspired me to write about it.

TerrorFirmer

It's a strange structure, but I like it. I was never one to believe in rules of structure, if it reads well, then I find whatever format it takes is good

The title seems contradictory though - unwanted carnal pleasure?

I know you would hardly say "unwanted intercourse" or something as equally bland, but even though the subject is obvious from the onset, the title still suggests (in my mind, that is) a slight confusion over whether or not its ultimately a participating game.

Although I think from the general flow and feel of the poem it certainly is a thoroughly unwanted occurance.

HST

I hate the confines of conservative poets that you have to write sonnets or what ever. In saying that though, now and again I like to write within the rules but more often than not I will stray out side them.

Thanks for all the feedback as well.