Family problems

bobbi

Hey just wondering if anyone has had problems with their family accepting your beliefs(Or lack of them). I'm 19 and still live at home my parents don't take me being a strong atheist. I'm constantly feeeling like the butt of their jokes and called an attention seeker and i only don't believe in God to be different which is not the case at all. At this time of year i find it hardest (Xmas) anyone have similar experience and any advice to get them to respect my atheist views?

Matthewthebig

strong aethiest?

how can you be a weak one?

unless you are a muscle bound body builder?

bobbi

There is a difference to being a strong atheist and weak atheist a definition would be considered "Some atheists go beyond a mere absence of belief in gods: they actively believe that particular gods, or all gods, do not exist. Just lacking belief in Gods is often referred to as the "weak atheist" position; whereas believing that gods do not (or cannot) exist is known as "strong atheism"."

Crucifix

I'm 19 and living at home too. I often get the feeling they don't take my beliefs or lack there of seriously, but it doesn't bother me that much. I figure when I'm thirty I'll either still be agnostic and I can be smug about, or I'll be back alongside the catholic church and they'll have been right.

bobbi

lol yeah thanks the worst is they believe when i'm old or if i ever becoome seriously ill they believe i will come back to the church.Which i can safely say i would never.

robindch

> Hey just wondering if anyone has had problems with
> their family accepting your beliefs

Thankfully, I haven't had too many problems recently, at least outside of funerals and marriages, where the cold hand of religious orthodoxy grips the strongest.

All I can say is that the social pressure to conform to the local religious culture can be difficult to deal with and it's one of the reasons why so few people ever manage to escape out from underneath it -- count yourself lucky that you have!

Tar.Aldarion

I don't bring it up, 19 too but I don't live at home. So it's not really a problem that I'm agnostic and they are catholic.
To make them respect your views, explain them and show them the father ted episode where the bishop becomes a hippie when he talks to dougal about belief.
was on last night

Dades

bobbi wrote:

the worst is they believe when i'm old or if i ever becoome seriously ill they believe i will come back to the church.Which i can safely say i would never.

Never say never... but it's a really non-argument for person of faith to make. That you will look for religion simply out a need for comfort suggests that it doesn't matter whether you actually believe in the truth of it.

Next time somebody in your family asks why you don't believe, ask them first to explain why they don't worship Vishnu. Remember you just believe in one less god than them.

pretty*monster

My mum was convinced for a while that the reason that I had 'emotional problems' was because I didn't have any faith in god. She's backed off a lot since then though, probably because I'm older

The only one who gives me any hassel about it now is my 10 year old alter-server sister who worries that I'm going to hell.

Sangre

Do you voice your beliefs alot? If so, why? Isn't it personal?
I never go to Church but my parents still wouldn't know my beliefs.
If someone asks me if I go to church I just say no and never say why.

Maybe you should work on your wit, if someone ever started slagging me for not being a Catholic believer I'd have plenty of material to get them back.

Rev Hellfire

The simple fact is while you are at home you don't really enjoy the complete set of privileges that most adults have.

The old saying 'if you're under my roof you'll play by my rules' springs to mind.

Your ability to argue your point in an intelligent manner will go along way if done in a non-confrontational manner. I’ve no idea if you have younger siblings but keep in mind your actions can be perceived as undermining the religious upbringing that your parents may wish to impart upon them also. Which can naturally lead to further grief.

Asiaprod

Rev Hellfire wrote:

Your ability to argue your point in an intelligent manner will go along way if done in a non-confrontational manner. I’ve no idea if you have younger siblings but keep in mind your actions can be perceived as undermining the religious upbringing that your parents may wish to impart upon them also. Which can naturally lead to further grief.

Very wise stuff Rev. H. And staying on this board will very much equip one with the ability to argue their point in an intelligent and non-confrontational manner. Also got to respect that your 10 year old alter-server sister who worries you are going to hell is obviously saying this cause she cares about you. You could end up becomeing a very big role model for her in later years.

nesf

Tbh, my mother hopes that I'll "find faith" but beyond that she doesn't mind mainly because I don't attempt to challenge her faith. Live and let live and all that.

iceworm

yep. happpens all the time . especially since i started writing some ''troubling'' things on my religion test on got myself a d . my mam keeps bringin it up now after the parent teacher metin except she keeps loosin cause its 5 atheists against one believer

As has been asked already, do you go around announcing your beliefs or not? Some of my family are definitely catholic, but I don't think they know what my beliefs are, because I don't talk about them. It doesn't tend to be an issue.

I doubt you'll get much respect about your beliefs, just ask them to back off, I suppose.

samb

iceworm wrote:

yep. happpens all the time . especially since i started writing some ''troubling'' things on my religion test on got myself a d . my mam keeps bringin it up now after the parent teacher metin except she keeps loosin cause its 5 atheists against one believer

I don't suppose you are still junior cert level?, because I got a quick look at a religion textbook for junior cert and was appalled at its coverage of atheism.

It fairly explicitly equated atheism with materialism (in the scientific sense of the word, which is fair enough) but then equated it with materialism as commonly used (as in wanting a flashy, new car, cloths etc). I think the book may have been called ''living with religion'' or ''A living Religion'' or something like that.

You should complain if you think you are being marked unfairly. If you know your religion but show independent though you should be rewarded not penalised. I think (well, hope anyway) that most teachers who will mark the leaving cert and junior cert will appreciate your independent thought, you must however study and know your stuff. Good Luck

P.S I would have called the textbook--coping with religion

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

my mother used to make the odd joke about praying for me on the rare enough occasion she went to mass, and every now and again I'll go on a short bitching session about some religious 'nonsense' I hear on the news/radio.. but other than that, we don't really talk about it. Each to their own I suppose.

legspin

I have an aunt who still insists on praying that I will find my way back to the "one true faith", which bugs the hell out of me. So the last time we met and she said she'd pray for me I said 'fine, I'll curse you and we will see who gets closer to the mark in the end'. I have had no trouble from her since:cool:

ronbyrne2005

fortunately my parents arent very religous and never forced us to go to church or hold certain beliefs like many other parents in the world do,hence the persistance of religon.

Beruthiel

I come from a very healthy family
we never discuss it

toiletduck

nesf wrote:

Tbh, my mother hopes that I'll "find faith" but beyond that she doesn't mind mainly because I don't attempt to challenge her faith. Live and let live and all that.

yeah im the same. although it can be awkard at xmas and funerals